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Sd hasn't called to visit

sam's picture

Submitted by sam on Tue, 01/27/2009 - 11:02am

It has been 3 weekends already since sd came over.We made our minds up that sd and ss who lives with us he is 16 and sd is 14 almost 15 have to get on a bus to go back and forth from our house to bm house it saves us from driving 4 hours on the weekends of the visits.For them to get on a bus it is a 1/2 hour bus ride straight to our house and then back.Bm has never helped with transportation in 5 years in the beginning she met half way but it always ended in a big fight.So now that the kids are a little older we thought that they can hop on a bus.First let me tell you that they go to Toronto on their own and sd told me once that she got stuck there at midnight and bm refused to pick her up.They dont even want to ride the bus to our house which is in a small town.They say that they are scared so now sd hasnt called to come and visit.So do you think that when she calls we should pick her up or tell her to get on bus but she will probably refuse the bus.

Comments

sparky's picture

Submitted by sparky on Tue, 01/27/2009 - 12:33pm

All of this is confusing for me. If they live with you why is this a issue other than to make them ride the bus to get to their moms? Either way, put your foot down and be the parent. If you told them they are going to ride the bus then they shall ride the bus. It may sound like a small thing but you are setting the tone for their life if you give in. The SD is waiting you out to see if you will give in.

sam's picture

Submitted by sam on Tue, 01/27/2009 - 12:37pm

ss lives with us and sd lives with bm.

stepmasochist's picture

Submitted by stepmasochist on Tue, 01/27/2009 - 1:40pm

but for different reasons. How is a thirty minute bus ride one way, a four hour car trip?

I feel kind of dumb for asking this, like I'm missing something obvious.

sam's picture

Submitted by sam on Tue, 01/27/2009 - 1:45pm

driving there is an hour and driving back is an hour and same thing next day to bring home.The bus company we looked into said it was a half hour one way.That was the time they had on the schedules that is a one way and we usually sit there for 20 min until they have their stuff ready etc...We would wait at bus stop but they havent even taken the bus yet to know for sure.

SM#1's picture

Submitted by SM#1 (not verified) on Tue, 01/27/2009 - 2:04pm

She is old enough. Kids around here take the bus by themselves way before 14 yrs. She doesn't want to becuz she is embarrassed. Too bad. I would tell her to get on the bus or don't come. I guess if your SS does not want to take the bus then he can just skip BM visits.