Where has common sense gone?
:?
I have been looking for a place to vent because my husband doesn't want to hear what I consider to be the truth about his lack of parenting & my SS issues. I have no Bio Children so I don't know what it's like to have that baby bond, but I think I have enough experience with life in general to see things he just MIGHT not see. My SS was mostly raised by his Paternal Grandmother from age 2-10. We received full custody when SS was 10. He did not know how to operate a microwave oven, could not pour his own milk, didn't want to fix his own dinner plate & never had ANY chores to help around the house. He was allowed to play video games hours upon hours, very loudly on the main TV at GM house. When he wanted something, be would beg & beg for it, GM would give in & give him much of what he wanted. He had medical issues with recurring fevers for years, going through medical tests.....issues with learning in school, more testing....BM not in the picture for years except when it benefited her.... Therefore SS has been viewed by his BIO family & one to be pitied & done extra for. Now, years later... He is basically a good natured kid, but has an entitlement attitude, manipulates his dad, who feels sorry for his struggles, because they are SO alike in SO many ways, is lazy, selfish, passive-aggressive, who doesn't want to deal with reality but prefers to stay in his "safe-haven of La La land". I love him & hate him at the same time. Can ANYONE relate?
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Hells yeah!!!!! Just got
Hells yeah!!!!! Just got full custody of two skids in the fall. SS14 almost 15 and SD12 almost 13.
SS is coddled, entitled, spoiled, arrogant … all because my DH refuses to parent him. I don't know what he is afraid of. SS and SD aren't going to run back to BM - she is a neglectful mess who only gets to visit with them 10 hours a week. They hate her. DH is a Disney Dad. ALL of our frequent fights are over the kids and his inability to parent. It is mostly the manipulative SS. The SD is okay but I think the worst is yet to come with her as she sees how DH treats her brother like a precious snowflake. It is sickening.
I have no Bios either and never will … I am 42 and DH was snipped. He doesn't want anymore kids. So I gave that up to be with him and to be a parent to these two since BM is a train wreck. But DH doesn't really let me BE a parent. He thinks I am too hard on them. I'm not. They just need to be respectful and have a couple of chores and have SOME sort of responsibility. But nooooo guilty daddy waits on them hand and foot, hands them cash, chauffeurs them around and then gets pissed at me when he thinks I am not helping around the house enough. Screw that! I didn't get married to be Cinderella!
Its just maddening! I really
Its just maddening! I really want the best for my SS. I want to raise a productive, responsible, contributing member of society. I want him to handle money well, be honest in his relationships & man-up when he needs to. What has happened to people who have kids? Why be so scared to parent them? I am sick to death of lazy, dead-beats, sucking the life out of society. I have worked hard my whole life, bought what I needed, always saved for a "rainy day", & did without a LOT of what I wanted, in order to handle my obligations. I have made it VERY clear with my H that I will NOT pay my SS bills, especially, if my SS is foolish &/or selfish with what little he makes at his part-time job. The constant stress that these "non-parenting" people cause is MADDENING!!!! :?
The damage that excessive
The damage that excessive coddling & enabling does to a child. It does more harm than good and I hope your H can get some assistance and try to turn this behavior around. H is going to have to put forth the work in order to remedy this because if he doesn't......I'm sorry to report it will only get worse.