Do they always have to be there???
Well, bf is going out of town for my birthday and his birthday, immediately upon returing home he will have skids. For the entire weekend. My brother and his wife want to come and visit the weekend after. BF's response was OK I'll get the kids that weekend too. He said it real mean, so I said no, I want to spend some time with my brother one on one, do adult things and go to dinner etc. I don't understanding why he would want them there. My nephews are grown and gone as is my son. I want to focus on my brothers visit, I haven't seen him in 7 months and didn't spend any one on one time with him-- family event. He hasn't come to visit in over a year. Is it wrong to want some time with my brother without taking care of his kids and hearing the loud tussling that is constantly going on when they are there? He's acting like I'm being hitler and like I'm trying to keep him from his kids???
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I don't think you're being
I don't think you're being unreasonable...obviously BF thinks you are though and that's a problem. This is how I would handle it...just as an example...
"BF I was just wondering if we could do some adult activities while my brother is here so we can reconnect and have some adult interraction. I think the kids would be really bored with us bc there won't be any other children around for them to be with...just adults. I think it would be more relaxing for us and better for the kids if we just got them some other time. Maybe we can plan something 'kid oriented' on the next weekend we have them. I don't mind having them here, I simply want some adult time. Plus I would really love it if we could get some quality time in this weekend...I feel like we could really use some alone time together..."
"Always be a first-rate version of yourself, instead of a second-rate version of somebody else." ~Judy Garland
He is just so focused on
He is just so focused on defending his kids from mean mean me! Defending his guilt, that I don't even think he really hears me. I'll try to talk to him, but it seems when it comes to his kids he is just defensive all the time. It would start WWIII if I said I would prefer they not come that particular weekend and I'm scared to say it, suggest it or talk about it. It will just start another war. I'm just gonna tell my brother to come another time I guess.
he went away but then when
he went away but then when he gets back he'll have the skids and he wants to pick them up again for when her brother is in town...so he'd have them two weekend in a row if I understand it correctly.
"Always be a first-rate version of yourself, instead of a second-rate version of somebody else." ~Judy Garland
Yeah, he's leaving this
Yeah, he's leaving this Friday and will be gone until the 22nd, which is when he will get his kids. My bro is planning to come on the 29th. BF just doesn't seem to ever want adult time. WE used to always go to dinner, go listen to live music and unless we go out of town we really don't do any of that anymore. We went to a party Sat night, he bugged me until we left at 9:45. I'm scared he's losing interest, maybe getting too comfortable, wants me to take care of his kids and thats it. (I'm probably exaggerating here, but sometimes that's how I feel.
He may be getting
He may be getting comfortable...we all know the relationship seems to suffer when we get too comfortable. Sucks that it's that way but it's true.
I guess your options are:
1.talk to him regardless of fearing a war...get your feelings out there and pray for the best.
2.reschedule your brother and simmer in silence over the unfairness
3.let him have the skids over and just act like they aren't there...go out and do things with your brother without BF and the kids.
"Always be a first-rate version of yourself, instead of a second-rate version of somebody else." ~Judy Garland
Nope, he travels with his
Nope, he travels with his work and is leaving Friday 8th to go to NY to work until the 22nd. He will work nonstop through weekends so I cant meet him for the weekend.
OMG I just read your
OMG I just read your previous blog entry. No wonder choochoo is lying. He said those things about him in front of him. I'm sorry to hear all that. I'm sorry to hear you were crying too. ((((Big hug)))). Wow and I'm only EOW.
thanks babe:) I'm ok today,
thanks babe:) I'm ok today, I was just shocked when it happened and ran to get coddled by my ST ladies...lol, it always helps and then when I'm feeling more stable I can allow myself to really hear the advice my friends here offer for me so I can change for the better.
Personal growth...that's the name of surviving the game.
"Always be a first-rate version of yourself, instead of a second-rate version of somebody else." ~Judy Garland
That sucks. Maybe you can
That sucks. Maybe you can work something out. Like you going out with your brother and leaving the children at home... lol... Good luck.
Life isn't about the days you have, its about what you do with the days you have.