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Trying to Hang in there until the 8th when he leaves

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Well, I am being very selfish and I feel really badly for how I feel, you guys are going to not like me very much, but he went to get ss12 from summer school at 12 today. Every time I hear that he's done that, I get a knife feeling in my gut. Yes, I guess I'm upset that every second until he leaves for 6 months, he's got to be picking him up, mind you he's completely left out sd9. She's at the Y program until Mom picks her up. He just coddles this kid so much it makes me sick to my stomach.

Sad Sad.. Relationship probably ending

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Well, he's leaving to go overseas on Aug 5, he's getting his kids every weekend unti then. I understand, however it is summer can't he get them during the week, while I'm at work. considering he's on vacation until August? And let me have a day of peace? I so hate feeling like this, like I don't want them. He doesn't ask me if it is ok to get them this weekend to see if I'd like to have a day. My son is gone, so we would have the house to ourselves, peace, but he didnt' even ask me.

Fighting

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I feel like I'm fighting, After reading that post to myself, I feel like I'm fighting all the time, I feel like I'm backed into a corner and I'm being forcefed EVERything. Here you're expected to do this, you're expected to do that.

"What is she doing for us now, no, Let's look at what she's not doing for us." It's all about them, him, their schedule, his schedule. "why is she not happy to be doing all this for us." And when V-day came I got taken out to dinner with everyone else.

Skids this weekend and now I'm feeling wrung out.

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OMG, it never ceases to amaze me how detached he can be. He actually came in Friday night to yell at me for not preparing the bed for ss11. I work all week and teach Group fitness at night. Yeah I work out a lot. but they are not my kids. So he's home - worked out of town Monday Tuesday Wednesday. Home all day Thursday and Friday. He actually came back to say something to me about the brats bed. Opened up his mouth and then stopped. Yes, he stopped. Thankfully, because I was going to have to tell him the way it is. I'm not the maid, nor the chef, nor the nanny.

Am I wrong to want Valentines Dinner on our own?

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Well, he was gone for my birthday and his birthday and now he's home Valentines, usually returns skids on Sunday night, but they don't have school Monday, SO. He says we can go out for Valentines Day, "we can take the kids with us." NO. WTF? I have NO desire to go to dinner with them in tow - what at Chuckie Cheese's for Valentines. He is, as usual, clueless. So now I feel guilty because I want him to take them back on Sunday so we can have a NORMAL Valentines ON Valentines. I know he doesn't see them much, I know, but I work all week, now, he says oh, we'll just go another night.

They aren't even here yet and I'm dreain' the drama

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Well, bf is flying back from working in NY tonight at 8:00. He goes 1st thing in am to get skids and I'm dreading it already. I have been alone for two weeks straight during which it was my birthday and his birthday. I guess I'm whining or venting. But you know they have their mother and I am alone. My family doesn't live here. I know I know, but I just want to get this out... I don't want to have his kids the entire weekend. Saturday and Sunday night. I work two jobs and next week I'll be back at it and will have NO time.

Serenity is the name of the game today

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Well skids are gone and bf and I have time to ourselves in the evenings. We have returned to calm. No arguments, quiet, productive household. I have wiped all the germs that they bring out with clorox ha ha - wiped all of the dirty fingerprints off the woodwork, restocked the fridge with beer and wine and food other than yogurt and pudding. (mean step mom!!) He leaves Saturday for two weeks during which both of our birthdays will pass.

Do they always have to be there???

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Well, bf is going out of town for my birthday and his birthday, immediately upon returing home he will have skids. For the entire weekend. My brother and his wife want to come and visit the weekend after. BF's response was OK I'll get the kids that weekend too. He said it real mean, so I said no, I want to spend some time with my brother one on one, do adult things and go to dinner etc. I don't understanding why he would want them there. My nephews are grown and gone as is my son.

I would never have gotten involved if I had known

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I would never have gotten involved had I known what kind of hell being a step parent would be. Hell on me, hell on skids, hell on relationship. Getting blamed for things, always having to clarify what you say, how you say it, who you look at, who you discipline. Walking on eggshells for fear of setting off some unseen bomb, only to be hugged and wanted in the next minute. Bf has colors I never knew he had. Getting ganged up on is my personal favorite knife. Cuts me to the bone when he sides with ss11.

Alright, having second thoughts about tonight

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Now I'm having second thoughts about going to movies. I feel like if I don't go home, and you should've seen the little beam on the ss11's face last night when I came home later. I feel like he is winning. Maybe I shoujld go home and make his life a little more miserable. But can I go home and not be sucked into making dinner and etc.? I miss my man.

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