So, BM says she's dating my EX?!.....
BM told a friend of mine to tell me that she is dating my EX. I made this friend repeat this.
Wait a minute "she told you to tell me that she's dating my EX?"
My friend says yes, she told me to tell you that. She says they went to a New Years Eve party together.
My reaction - "Wonderful!" "Please tell BM that I hope it works out for the best and that they can be as happy as me and FH and hopefully they will BOTH move on."
I don't know if this stuff is true or not. I don't care. I even talked to my EX a couple hours after hearing this and I never even brought it up. If I ask about this my EX and the BM will think I care - and I simply do not.
True or not - how "high school" is this? BM is 35. FH and I have been together for over a year and a half and been engaged since May. We're planning a summer wedding, but have decided to just take the kids and run off and get married in Gatlinburg in a couple months. We just decided this last night. FH really wants to confront BM with WHY is she still trying to mess with me. I told him NO WAY. Don't let her get to you. I don't want her to think I care about what she says or does.
We will not even tell the kids about the wedding until we are there. BM will have to hear about it afterwards. Her immature, stupid, behavior is escalating.
Do you think things will get worse or better after we're married? I'm hoping things get better, but I just don't know.
Can all you married people tell me if things got better or worse after the wedding?
Thanks so much for reading and for any responses.
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Comments
Poor things! If BM and my Ex
Poor things! If BM and my Ex were dating I would feel sorry for them BOTH. She's only trying to get a reaction out of you Rusty, and the only reason ppl do this is because of THEIR insecurities and jealousy.
I love the way you handled it especially by not even asking your Ex about it. BM should feel really foolish and immature.
___________________________________________________________________________
“Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.”
Well, I have a TON of
Well, I have a TON of pride.
Also, if they ARE dating, I don't want either one of them to think I give a damn. If I'd have asked my EX about it and if they ARE dating - he would have told her this. I would rather have a bullet to the brain than let her know or think I care about this.
Also, FH and I have decided that we DO feel sorry for the both of them. Separate or apart - they're both pretty pathetic. But, at least my EX leaves us alone and is a pretty good father.
**my stepdaughters did not grow in my tummy, they grew in my heart**
so BM could be your kids SM
so BM could be your kids SM one day? SMs to each others kids...wouldnt that be interesting!
"I child proofed my whole house, but they STILL get in!"
My BF ex started talking to
My BF ex started talking to my Ex husband and i beleive 100% that she was trying to hook up with him. Dont sweat it. I thought it was funny. When my ex told me about it i laughed and told him to throw her a bone and take one for the team so that maybe she would leave us alone. I have no idea why these women think we care. He is my ex for a reason so have at it.
OMG...I think I just threw
OMG...I think I just threw up in my mouth a little....u poor thing...as if life isn't hard enuff without some wackjob dating yur ex....well...misery loves company, I guess....and in my case...things got better after the wedding cuz skids saw that I was around for the long haul and they knew their Dad truly loved me and wanted me in his life as his wife :).....Best wishes on yur wedding!!!!....
A mother is not defined by the "b" or the "s" in front of her name, she is defined by how she handles the "mother" part.....
Well, the skids and I get
Well, the skids and I get along really well. They're super excited about the wedding and have been helping me pick out dresses, cake, and all accessories and they LOVE helping and planning. But, I'm more worried about BM's behaviors after we're married. I hope she finally realizes that I AM definitely here to stay.
**my stepdaughters did not grow in my tummy, they grew in my heart**
You got me laughing lady.
You got me laughing lady.
There's a CLEAR and OBVIOUS reason why BOTH of these individuals are EXES!!!!!!!!!!!!!
If THAT'S what she's got to toot her horn about, she's seriously projecting.
Does she think that by you knowing she's dating your ex partner you will be jealous? Does that mean she's jealous that YOU'RE with HER ex partner?!
Hmmmm....
I love LOVE LOOOOVEEE your avatar photo, by the way. Kids in a cage!! Evil..but so appropriate
I'm sorry I can't chime in the "after marriage" advice, but may it be a blissful day for your family
Yea, I've got two skids and
Yea, I've got two skids and there's two kids in a cage!
I love my skids though, but if I didn't.................I own a dog cage exactly like that one!
Ha Ha!
Yea, I guess she's just jealous. Everyone keeps telling me that. It doesn't make me feel any better because that's something I can't change. That means that she may be jealous forever, which means more vengeful, bitter crap coming from her with possibly no end in sight. If she dated my EX and left me alone, I would be ecstatic!
**my stepdaughters did not grow in my tummy, they grew in my heart**
They would deserve each
They would deserve each other!!! I wouldn't be upset, I would actually feel a secret tinge of happiness that those two miserable people were together. I would secretly laugh at my ex for having to put up with her little hellions, because I know he woudn't put up with their crap. And she would have to put up with my two. The only thing I would worry about is him opening his big mouth about all of my problems. Actually, I really woudn't care.
Man... I could only wish!
Oh I think my EX would be
Oh I think my EX would be more worried that I might spill the beans about him. He was abusive physically, emotionally, and mentally. Also, he's the "two-pump chump" in the sack. They both have so many problems that I really don't think they'd last a week unless they stayed drunk all the time which is quite possible with the two of them. I mean it when I say that I just want the two of them to be happy and if they're together - so be it.
**my stepdaughters did not grow in my tummy, they grew in my heart**
"Can all you married people
"Can all you married people tell me if things got better or worse after the wedding?"
Worse. If you're talking about BM's attitude, it will probably get much worse after the wedding. Especially if she's so desperate to get to you that she wants you to know she's dating your ex. Clearly, she sees that you have "HER" husband, and so she wants to take "YOUR" husband in return. You're right, this is totally high school, but unfortunately an indicator of the future.
The good news is, it doesn't have to affect you guys too much. BM went completely nuts when we got married, but DH had learned to ignore her by then, so she fizzled out after about 4-5 months. Now she flares up like a hemorrhoid every 3-4 months or so, but she gets so little response from us that she's mostly given up.
BB
You are not second best, you are not second class. Do not ever let anyone make you feel that way. - 2BLoved
Yea, so far ignoring her
Yea, so far ignoring her hasn't helped. She just gets more mean and vindictive. One thing that has gotten better is that she used to call FH everyday and now she NEVER calls unless it's absolutely necessary. FH has learned to not be so accommodating and says "NO" almost all the time now. I guess maybe that's why she's escalating with this crazy behavior. She's realized she has lost the control she used to have over FH and she's blaming me for it. And she should blame me - I am the person who gave him his "balls" back.
**my stepdaughters did not grow in my tummy, they grew in my heart**
It got perfectly horrible
It got perfectly horrible and unbelievably unbearable right up until the wedding. PAS was in full swing and TheFrizz was losing her mind. She knew the very second DH said "i do" to me, her chances to get back with him were out the window.
After the wedding, things got REALLY rough between me and DH and SD. The first year of our marriage was pure hell and we almost didn't make it. Slowly getting better and rebuilding the foundation that made our relationship work so well at the beginning.
it's a process...long and slow but not bad
"Venting without the desire to look within and improve your situation is simply venting to hear yourself bitch."
Yea, BM was hoping to get
Yea, BM was hoping to get back with FH. She was actually very nice to me in the beginning. Well, after she got over the initial shock of finding out about us. The first couple months were hell. She even went so far as to tell FH that I lost one of my best friends because I slept with her sons (yes, plural, she has two sons). They are GORGEOUS sons, and in their late twenties. BM told FH that this friend of mine was super pissed at me for this. I called my friend immediately while FH was sitting there and told my friend about this. She got so pissed! She actually confronted BM the next time she saw her and BM said she had "heard" that rumor. That's BM's standard answer whenever confronted. My friend told her to keep her stupid mouth shut regarding rumors. They haven't spoken since. BM apologized to me and FH after that one. We got along pretty well after that, but during that whole time I kept hearing her trash talking about me and I decided to put an end to our nice relationship. Also, that meant that FH was not so nice to her anymore. That's when things really started to go really bad. And it hasn't stopped for over a year now.
**my stepdaughters did not grow in my tummy, they grew in my heart**
There was a blip of 'worse'
There was a blip of 'worse' from both BM and SD 17 after the wedding. BM has a relationship of some sort that is long term, but I think it definitely upset SD and escalated her anger...IDK maybe the end of the illusion things would snap back into place if I was out of the picture. It definitely amped up the friction from the time they found out we were doing it and shortly after....but that was five months ago and things are quieter than ever before now...found the same with my Ex Step situation too, BM got jealous and amped up the powerplays...threatened to not let 'her' kids attend, stuff like that. We actually hired a limo to drive the kids to her place because it was 'her' weekend and we wanted to avoid her showing up at our wedding to get 'her' kids since she couldn't negotiate with us on it...stupid. She straightened up when she got pregnant and remarried a few months later.
I will have my wedding on
I will have my wedding on our kids weekend. I will not want BM anywhere near me on my wedding day. This is why we will "sneak" off and do it. We'll have a giant reception/party afterwards. I can deal with some short-term craziness. Hopefully, our getting married will knock some sense into her and if it doesn't - I'm prepared to physically do it.
**my stepdaughters did not grow in my tummy, they grew in my heart**
A few months ago BM tried to
A few months ago BM tried to tell me that my ex tried to get her in bed. I just laughed; HARD, and right in her face... and said "I doubt that!". My ex knows all about her little "health issue" and wouldn't touch her with a 10 foot pole.
For us it has pretty much been the same since the wedding (5 months ago). She has her moments where she is just totally out of hand with texting and calling all of the time, and then she has her moments where she leaves us alone. I dunno, didn't seem to make a difference, other than her telling me that we are sisters now because we have the same last name :sick:
DISbelief~
~You have to BE crazy to UNDERSTAND crazy!~
ROLMAO Dis!!!!!!!!!
ROLMAO Dis!!!!!!!!!
___________________________________________________________________________
“Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.”
He doesn't want me to
He doesn't want me to confront her - HE wants to. He's more pissed off than I am. He's tired of her trash talking about me and trying to get me upset. It doesn't work most of the time. I will never give BM the satisfaction of thinking she is getting to me. I will never say a word to her about all this crap. If I see her and my EX out together, I will walk right up and give them both hugs and wish them all happiness and then go on my merry way!
**my stepdaughters did not grow in my tummy, they grew in my heart**
Things got better...DH cut
Things got better...DH cut pretty much all contact with her and she has left us alone for the most part.
"I child proofed my whole house, but they STILL get in!"
There's something seriously
There's something seriously wrong with that woman. My ex would be completely grossed out by BM... You couldn't get further from his type then her.... She wouldn't even stand a chance if she were the last chick in the bar after a looong night of drinking....