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DH decides that the skids are not mine now

roseslady2's picture

Submitted by roseslady2 on Wed, 04/04/2012 - 10:37pm

I wish the other SP hadn't left. He and I were supposed to parent together. We had no issues while all 4 of us were team parenting. Sad He left a year ago. Jerk! :? Now, I'm the only SP and BM and DH are scared that their little babies will be hurt again by me. So, DH pretty much cut me off. DH told me to back off of sparenting. I don't know how much I can do that now. It's been 5 years. You've let me be their major parent ever since I came along. I want you to parent them. Since you haven't, how am I supposed to back off. they NEED someone to parent them. YOU SHOULD DO TAHT IF I CAN'T ANYMORE. Sad I'm so sad. I feel like I'm mourning the loss of my family. they're in the room, but I don't feel like I can look at them. I am no longer allowed to discipline them, make decisions on their upbringing, talk to them about things I think they should be doing, or tell them things I think they need to know. All contact with the skids is to be run past my DH first. Both of them are confused, BM is frustrated and I'm sad. I just want to sleep for days. I want my DH to see how hard this is. :?

Comments

AliceP's picture

Submitted by AliceP on Wed, 04/04/2012 - 10:58pm

DISENGAGE COMPLETELY and he'll see how much you did that he couldn't hopefully....how did you "hurt" them?

Rags's picture

Submitted by Rags on Thu, 04/05/2012 - 12:16am

Not allowed?

If my spouse used the words "you are not allowed" with me regarding parenting children in MY home they would have a seriouse lession coming in what exactly would not only be "allowed" to do but exactly what I had been doing and would continue to do regarding parenting any children residing or visiting MY home. For that matter if my spouse used the words "you are not alowed" towards me for just about any reason they would have a another serviouse think comming.

I would never tell my wife "you are not allowed", why would I accept those words from her particulary regarding the child that I have raised as my own since he was 1yo?

Don't wilt over this, give your DH and his idiot X who can't keep a husband absolute clarity on this issue and never, no matter what, do you ever stop parenting YOUR skids.

Too often people in marriages that are not initial abdicate their rights to equity partner status. That is something I personally would never do or even tolerate the suggestion of.

My wife and I are equity partners in all things in our life together including parenting my SS. And for damned sure I am in a far superior position to the SpermIdiot in anything and everything .... PERIOD!

I have a big problem with your DH and the XW/BM suddently getting all worried and sensitive about the children being hurt over the departure of a Sparent. Are they so self dilusional that they are missing the very blaring fact that if they had really given a flying squirrel shit about hurting their children over the demise of a marriage they shold have fixed their own marriage? Idiots piss me off!! :O

Time for some absolute clarity for your DH.

IMHO of course.

LilyBelle's picture

Submitted by LilyBelle on Thu, 04/05/2012 - 8:24am

That is horrible! The kids have already lost their dream of their family being together, and now they have lost the sfather.... so the Bparents are going to force the children to be estranged from a SM who cares for them and has provided consistent parenting for them for several years? That is crazy!!

They need to grow up, quit being motivated by fear, and do something that makes sense for their family.

CrazieCoconut86's picture

Submitted by CrazieCoconut86 on Thu, 04/05/2012 - 10:24am

I think there needs to be family therapy here! Those BP are just insane for doing this.

Stay strong, talk to your idiot husband, and schedule and appointment with a counselor

tkerb_08's picture

Submitted by tkerb_08 on Thu, 04/05/2012 - 1:22pm

I totally Agree with Rags. You know you are a good parent to them and continue being a good parent to them they need you and when your husband and the BM see you will not give up up because you love those kids. Hopefully they will realize how ignorant they are being.

If it were me in your shoes I would continue to parent them how I have always parented them and if DH has a problem with that I would ensure him I love them all and am not going anywhere and if he has a problem with it tell him to enjoy the couch because I have been doing what I do as best I can for this long and I am not giving up now. So either wake up and realize that these kids really need to know I am not going anywhere and have no intentions of ever hurting them the way SD has or give me the divorce papers because it will hurt these kids less if I am just completely gone then it will with me being around and not being able to give them my full caring potential they are accustom to. But this one is probably just me.