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Making rules and appropriate consequences

Rose.Colored.Glasses's picture

Submitted by Rose.Colored.Glasses on Fri, 12/19/2014 - 9:05am

I should have done this BEFORE FDH moved in with me two years ago. As some of you know/remember from my past blogs SD6 is out of control. After last weekends lying fest and her stealing BD3's things over several weeks possibly months, I've decided something has to be done. Disney dad never gives consequences and I'm fearful of this little terrorists influence on BD3. I want the rules and consequences to be age appropriate, but I'm honestly only doing this because of SD6. In the house we have BS13 and BD3 full time with SD6 every weekend.

Here's what I have in mind to curtail the every weekend circus:

RULES
-no running in the house

-no yelling/screaming in the house

-no jumping on the furniture, including beds

-eat what is made or nothing at all; no special meals or desserts will be given unless rule followed

-share, no snatching

-smart mouthing/bossy behavior will not be tolerated

-homework must be done immediately upon arriving home

-no hitting, lying, or stealing

CONSEQUENCES

-time outs; one minute per age of child

-grounding; includes no electronics or hanging with friends

-hitting, lying, and stealing are automatically punishable by grounding. If stealing, grounded indefinitely until items are returned.

Thoughts or advice? How do I approach this without upsetting defensive Disney dad? I don't think it's possible. Any additional consequences ideas? And should we all down together to discuss this or should it be just FDH and I? I'm leaning towards just FDH and I because I know that weekends craptastrophy and SD's stealing are going to be a possibly major discussion. I'm hoping I can get FDH.fully on board and to stick with it or this so-called blended family is going to end fast.

Comments

Ninji's picture

Submitted by Ninji on Fri, 12/19/2014 - 9:16am

Maybe sit down with FDH and tell him that you feel the kids (don't single out SD) have not been following rules and that may be because the rules and consequences have not be discussed as a family.

Show him the list you have created and ask him if there is anything that he would like to add or change.

I think you should both talk to the kids about the list together as a family. That way you know SD got the word. Giving no excuse for SD's bad behavior in the future and FDH's inability to give consequences. But that's what I would do.

Teas83's picture

Submitted by Teas83 on Fri, 12/19/2014 - 11:12am

Your punishments are appropriate given the ages of the children and the nature of the bad behaviour.

Now you just need your husband to agree to it....that's the biggest challenge in my experience.

thinkthrice's picture

Submitted by thinkthrice on Fri, 12/19/2014 - 12:40pm

AMEN! Yep I tried to enforce some rules/consequence early on. I'd get:

1. lip service (oh, yeah, that sounds ok)
2. the backslide or 180 (everything went out the windows when his featureless "angels" arrived)
3. anger at me for every thinking that his "angels" should be held to ANY rules and have ANYTHING other than 24/7 entertainment. They are as innocent as the wind-driven snow (TM)