Can a divorce decree be changed?
DH and BM have been divorced for quite a few years now. In the decree that BM hand-jammed (litterally) and a judge signed off on, she put that she has physical custody and they both have joint legal. But ever since she moved out years and years ago, they have split custody 50/50. EVERYTHING is split down the middle....until i came into the picture. Now at least once a month we get a "read the divorce decree DH, it says that i have custody and i can take it away when i want to". We are SO SICK of it. Can a decree be ammended to state what custody is being practiced (50/50) so that this isn't a threat anymore? They've had this agreement for 7 years so i honetly don't see how a judge would say that just because we got married he's no longer fit to take care of his daughter 50% of the time....any advice would be great!
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Yes, custody and child
Yes, custody and child support are always amendable.
You can ask to modify
You can ask to modify anything in the divorce decree, but it's the judge's final decision obviously. Does your DH have documentation of the extra time he's had with the skids?
She can't just "take" custody away - lol, she's delusional. She has physical custody which means her house is the house the child 'lives' in. Joint legal custody means that the major decisions about the child's life are made by both parents.
What does the decree say in regards to the visitation?
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“Got Boundaries?” ~BitchBitchBarbie~
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dmbz8LpQry0
Gotta love some of these
Gotta love some of these women...some take custody away to get even with their ex, so that the ex feels it's because of the new wife, and then the new wives who are perfectly happy with EOW, the ex's decide to make their lives hell by pushing for more time for the ex with the kids...amazing...
Yes, you can file a petition...if the kids are old enough to talk in court that might be good enough that she has shared custody until you came along...if they're not, you might need more proof before they change it...
It says absolutely nothing
It says absolutely nothing about visitation BUT he does have a copy of a notorized agreement that they both signed saying that custody and expenses are all split in half. As far as documentaion, SD has an agenda book that has to be signed every night and his signatures are in half of it and so is BMs. We've never really "documented" her over at our house. The babysitter knows we pick her up 2 days a week and drop her off two days a week before school.
So it says nothing like
So it says nothing like visitation for NCP will begin on Friday starting at 6pm and ending at Sunday at 6pm?
______________________________________
“Got Boundaries?” ~BitchBitchBarbie~
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dmbz8LpQry0
absolutely nothing! i'm
absolutely nothing! i'm telling you, the whole thing is in her handwriting and she dropped it off at the courthouse and a couple weeks later they got a certified copy of the same decree that the judge signed.
The divorce decree may not
The divorce decree may not be able to be changed but Custody/Visitation/Support an be modified regularly (usually every 2 yrs or at a major life changing event).
"Read the decree" goes both ways. You and your DH actually need to read it. I am highly confident that you will find that BM is applying some creative interpretation and that you and DH can take a bunch of control back from BM by applying your own interpretation to counter hers.
I find it highly suspect and highly unlikely that the divorce decree says anything remotely similar to "(BM) ha(s) custody and (BM)can take it away when (BM) want(s) to".
Court Orders/Decrees/Judgments are wonderful tools for managing blended family issues. However, I find that most people do not even know what is in their Judgement and rarely look at it. My wife and I both keep a copy of the Judgment and Supplemental Rules on our desks at work. BioDad and SpermGrandMa hate this since when they call with some lame attempt at manipulation or to play some bullshit sob story we can counter it readily.
When you roll the Judgement document up in to a nice tube it can be used to beat the blended family opposition about the head and shoulders. In fact anyone who has either had a young child or a puppy knows that when you roll a newspaper loosely it makes a loud popping sound when you whach it against something. This gets a kids attention or the attention of a puppy about to pee on the carpet.
A rolled up Judgment works similary with an idiot from the blended family opposition. We have found that with a puppy, rolled up paper making a popping sound stops the puppy from peeing on the carpet. With toothless SpermIdiots it actually scares them and makes them wet their pants. Ha! That is exactly how I like the blended family opposition SpermClan. Thouroughly baffled by what is clearly stated on the Judgement and jumpy as hell when we pull it out, roll it up and whack them with it. }:)
If visitation is not clearly defined in the original Divorce Decree then file for an ammendment and get it clearly defined. Each time BM applies creative interpretation counter with your own interpretation and go back to court for clarification/modification until you box her in the corner you want her in.
And most importantly, enjoy the process. I find great enjoyment in bareing BioDad's ass in court.
Good luck and best regards,
Success is rarely final. Failure is rarely fatal. It is character, courage and consistency of effort that count. Vince Lombardi (with some minor Rags modifications) To each according to their performance, screw Karl Marx. (Rags)
I find it highly suspect and
I find it highly suspect and highly unlikely that the divorce decree says anything remotely similar to "(BM) ha(s) custody and (BM)can take it away when (BM) want(s) to".
-----------> It is rather hilarious and ridiculous when you put it that way - LOL
______________________________________
“Got Boundaries?” ~BitchBitchBarbie~
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dmbz8LpQry0
Modicifactions are fairly
Modicifactions are fairly easy to apply for. When we were going through this with our BM our attorney told us never to stray from the decree unless it is something that you dont mind being modified because if you do a judge will always go with "what the kids are use to" rather than what the decree says. I would say that you have a pretty excellent chance at getting the decree modified unless she can prove that she strayed from the decree for a good reason and now has a good reason to go back to enforcing what she hasnt bothered to enforce in years.
Crystal - she has no reason
Crystal - she has no reason other than i'm half her age and it's pure jealousy of ME. It has nothing to do with the welfare of her daughter, she just plain doesnt like me. We did get an email the other day from her stating that she feels SD gets good care at our home so she only wants to pull the custody card when she doesn't want me at SD's practices or games...things like that.
Yes, you can always file a
Yes, you can always file a modification. Your best bet would be to see a lawyer and find out "where you're at". There are plenty of attorneys out there that will do a free consultation and then if you decide to move forward they'll charge you a set amount, bill against it and then return what's left, if anything.
"There are two things over which you have complete dominion, authority, and control over - your mind and your mouth".
We're going to see a lawyer
We're going to see a lawyer this week! thanks for all the advice. Will post the outcome.