Not new to the site or step-parenting fairly new to visits with SS13 and his shenanigans.
I am disgusted by him and so are my bios kids. SS is lazy ,overweight, constantly hiding food, and funky.
He has left a toilet bowl full of feces in the guest/shared bath with bios all day while he went to work with DH. My BS11 alerted me and I took a pic ,closed the door, placed air fresheners all around and tried to find crime scene tape to tape off the door. DH response ,So there is nothing YOU can do? Uh sure wait until you get back so I can watch you play in your man-childs feces. (let me add DH actually called BS to direct him to clean the mess for him because he would be late from work..BS laughs and tells DH no way!!!)
I hated to leave crap floating around in my home but I was not and will not clean after my own BS's mess. Old enough to use a microwave old enough to use a freaking plunger!!
He returned home and all I could hear was DH swearing and instructing SS13 to assist because after all it is his ish!

The next beautiful display of grossness was him wiping boogers and snot wherever he slept which was in the guest room or in BS's room because my BS13 is away for summer. He was sleeping in his bed and my other BS called him and told him when he comes home he would be cleaning the walls. SS13 came right in and started to clean the artwork off the wall. DH stood in the door asking BS how could he prove that it was SS that did it. BS said because it was in the guest room too and he is the only one in there and have you ever seen any boogers on the walls around here, and why would SS be so willing to clean up another persons snot and boogers?
He has also instigated arguments between DH and I and DH and bios. Last summer he hurt BS13 that resulted in an minor injury. (this after he was kicked out of day camp months before for causing a serious injury to a camper that resulted in a hairline fracture) This current summer he kicked BS11 and BS is very capable of defending himself, skinny but lethal and not as easy going as BS13. This kid is huge very immature does not realize his size and strength. DH is clueless and still sees him as the 6 year old (age when he divorced BM) BM is a loon and a post for another day. She treats him like he is 2 and encourages his behavior and always keeps the drama coming.
I do not really dislike him as a person but it's certain things I don't tolerate with my own kids and I refuse to accept these behaviors with this kid. He is very manipulative has made up stories about my bios that are totally not their character. He has said some really nasty things to my bios and has text BM lots of things while on visits to incite drama and issues with her myself and DH. Told his BM he hates it here and wants to run away, that I curse :O uh Hell yes when you leave a load in my house that makes my home smell like an outhouse and the time I shutdown his disrespect to my DH and then myself. I am no potty mouth but I was angry and he speaks to his parents like they are the children and he is the adult.. Uh not taking the Bull-ish, sorry.
DH has vowed to get control over SS13 behavior realizes that he has issue. He admits he knows he is jealous of his relationship with my bios and myself. He has some serious guilt but is open to hearing my opinion but
not without a lot of excuses and it seems lately becoming very critical of my bios?
The kid would not stop trying to climb in my bed or have a reason to hang out in my bedroom :jawdrop: and each time I shooed him away. House rule no kids in the bedroom for any reason. I got home late one night. SS13 says, RestingBface I was in your bed on your side while Dad was sleep he must really be tired I put my arm on him and he didn't notice it was me? :sick: SS13 you do realize that your Dad sleeps nude and his PENIS & TESTICLES are actually out when you were spooning him, and that's ok with you?? :? ( I mean did you not notice his bare backside? SS13 gives me a goofy look then laughs nervously. SS13 you like to lay around in the bed Dad and I get busy in? He gets a lil ansy then and says Dad and I used to watch tv in bed together all the time. Ok SS13 was that during the day with Dad while he is awake and fully clothed. SS reply, Well yeah it doesn't matter he is MY DAD!!! :O I was born disengaged and I follow all the stepmom laws but this kids does everything he can to get a rise and its so sickening. I overheard a convo yesterday with DH and BIL , BIL urging him to get custody???