New Job- how does parent choose between spouse and child?
Hi everyone. I'm new here. In summary: I never wanted any children. My first husband and I always agreed on it. We divorced, but my decision never waivered. Until I met the perfect man... with 3 kids. I knew his children from the time they were young as my sister is related to them (she is married to his brother) so it was a very easy transition. The 2 older daughters were easy. They had their own lives. The young boy- 6 when his father and I started dating was fine. I fell head over heals in love and we married. I never thought into the future. This boy would grow up. We had him M-F and the wicked mother had him Sat and Sun.
I am the major (well only) bread winner in the family. My husband is disabled.
The gist of it is that I've burnt out of my current job and have landed a dream job. Something I'm passionate about and can see me doing for the next 25 years. But it's 4 hours away. I understand I can't pluck my ss from his school or his part time mother but what am I supposed to do? Pass this opportunity up for someone else's child? He will be grown and out of the house (hopefully) in a few years and I will have been held back because of him...
I'm already starting to resent both of them...
Help.
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Comments
How old is this SS? Four
How old is this SS? Four hours isn't that far when it comes to a weekend only parent. Meeting halfway or one delivers, other picks up. Before the resenting, have you and Dh explored the options?
^^This, you don't have to
^^This, you don't have to make a choice but you might have to make some compromises.
This can absolutely still
This can absolutely still work. There may need to be changes in the parenting time (BM may get him longer periods less frequently--say during school breaks), or you can split the drive with BM...If you have family in the town BM lives in then you could make some weekend trips there and stay overnight...
You're going to have to talk to your DH about it and see what can be worked out.
DREAM JOB. Please.
DREAM JOB. Please.
If you were a man and the
If you were a man and the family breadwinner, no one would even entertain the notion you would let this career opportunity pass.
Your family can move, new visitation plans can be arranged. People move all the time, and for far less.
And if you are earning the income, your DH is not in a position to whine about it. He better hope you love your job, you support his ass.
You're the breadwinner. This
You're the breadwinner. This is your dream job. Your family moves. Perhaps you move first and they follow in a month or two. DH will look at schools and transfer SS perhaps at Christmas. Visitation may change a bit, but it's doable. You can add Skype visits or longer visits on three day weekends and school vacations.
Yeah, add me to the bitches
Yeah, add me to the bitches }:) ....job trumps kids, for all of the above reasons.
ETA....and now I have Remedy by The Black Crowes in my head, so thanks for that, OP.