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Should I be there

regmom's picture

Submitted by regmom on Wed, 03/09/2011 - 6:26am

I feel I should be there when they talk about ss. I have never heard them discuss his welfare and bm does not help in anyway as dh is unemployed. I feel we should discuss this even if I will be the silent partner.

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regmom's picture

Submitted by regmom on Wed, 03/09/2011 - 7:04am

So its okay that I pay ss's medical,school, transport and all other bills and be left out? DH is out of work and bm is employed but does nothing towards son's expenses.

regmom's picture

Submitted by regmom on Wed, 03/09/2011 - 8:07am

BM does not care. She abondoned ss and she stays close to us bt does not even buy food for ss. If I do not pay then he wont go to school and his long time wound wont be attended to. What should I do then?

somerg's picture

Submitted by somerg on Wed, 03/09/2011 - 8:21am

if i may say, why do you pay for all this, he's not your child to worry about although i completely see where you are coming from, but it's between the parents, if i were you (and i've done this) cause i'm in the exact same senario (dh doesn't work, so his expenses to his kids become mine IF i can afford it WITHOUT making me and mine go without-which is rare that i CAN do this)

if they do not "want" you there, then cut off all funds and let dh and bm worry about it. (that's what i'd do)

if you discontinue paying for him, and SHE allows him to go without, that would give rights for a HUGE custody battle that she will not win....it's called neglect

somerg's picture

Submitted by somerg on Wed, 03/09/2011 - 9:16am

that is VERY true ls

legally unless granted otherwise by courts, sparents HAVE NO RIGHTS unless given by the spouse

DaizyDuke's picture

Submitted by DaizyDuke on Wed, 03/09/2011 - 9:43am

sorry, but they can't have it both ways IMHO... if DH and BM are allowing you to step up and pay for medical, school, transport etc., then you should be privvy to decisions made in regards to his well being and if it is going to be a problem for them, then I would immediately cease and desist with your efforts to raise THEIR child.