Am I crazy??
Ok. So my hubby and I have been married for 3 1/2 yrs. He has two grown daughters. I have a son who going to college in another state. His 27 yr old daughter AND her 3 yr old moved in with us 9 months ago so that she could complete college (she dropped out when she got pregnant).
The 3 yr old is darling, but BAD! and I mean BAD. Last week during the Christmas week, both girls AND their mother were here. Yes the exwife stayed with me for a week.
In the months that his daughter and gd have lived with us, there have been problems, and they have resurfaced now with a vengeance. He told me that I should not be correcting or scolding the 3yr old.. that is her mothers job. Now then, the "mother" lives here for free, goes to school, has a built in babysitter when needed and does NOTHING around the house to help me. She doesnt cook, clean, grocery shop, NOTHING.
They don't even appreciated the fact that opened my house for their mother to stay for the holidays. I think they just expect it.
My hubby treats his daughters like they are 10 yrs old and makes excuses for them for everything.
I dont know what to do.. I feel like running away somewhere. I love my husband and we bought a beautiful house together 6 months ago, but I am not sure it is worth it. I feel like an outsider in my own home. Am I crazy? to think that this is not right? Please advise me someone!!
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Comments
In your home, you are
In your home, you are allowed to parent any child breaking you house rules!! If dh and Sd don't like it, she can move out!
"God is great, beer is good, and people are crazy" and you can't change crazy!!
No you aren't crazy. This
No you aren't crazy. This is what you'd have dealt with to an extent if his kids would have been with him still when you married...the same BS we all come here to rant about. Men just don't handle their second wives feelings and rights well sometimes when it comes to their ex and his kids from his first marriage. What it boils down to is you get all the work of the woman's role as his wife, but not of the respect or authority that goes along with it....but this is WRONG. Common but complete bullshit. He needs an attitude adjustment, you have been more than generous.
Ask your H.....if a neighbor
Ask your H.....if a neighbor next door came over and was screaming at you....would you not correct them?
if his neice or nephews came over and refused to brush their teeth at night...won't he guide them?
If someone is in YOUR home you have every right to correct or guide them. I can see if he is upset if you yell or spank (or if he parents kids differently than you) BUT that is your house too.
Maybe you could also remind him how generous you both are being by allowing her to move in, in the first place. However if it is not working out then she can leave, you aren't forcing her to stay.
You have every right to
You have every right to correct children or anyone else in your home that does not obey house rules or respcet your property and belongings. There is absolutley no reason why you should have to worry about your belongings or home being destroyed by wild and undisciplined children or adults. You also have every right to demand that everyone living in the home contribute to the household chores. SD should also be asked to pay whatever she can to support her own children. If your SD and H refuse to either of the above I highly recommned that you disengage and refuse to cook, clean, launder, shop or babysit for SD until or unless she or your H finally does make a move to reduce the burden on you. Or alternatively you could hire a cleaning service to come in once a week with your husbands money since he does not feel that his princess daughter needs to show any initiative!
Unless you particularly enjoy BM I would recommend a good hotel for her next time! I hope that having her in your home was your idea and not forced upon you by others.