I am so frustrated with SO and his daughter today that I am about to lose my mind. So here's what's going on...Last night, I volunteered to do an evening court appearance for my SO (we are both lawyers) so that he could spend some quality time with his daughter. Mind you, I had been up that morning since 4:30 am, but he hadn't seen her since last Thursday, so I wanted to do him the favor. When I got home from court, he was on the couch watching basketball and she was in her room zoned out in front of the TV. Not entirely horrific, but it gets worse. The minute I walk in the door, she is all over me wanting attention and wanting me to do activities with her. I managed to get her to let me choke down my dinner and then we did arts and crafts together for a little while. When 8:00 hit, she had to do her homework. She wanted me to help her with her homework instead of her dad, so I did, or rather, I tried, but it was a disaster.

The problem is this... My SO's daughter puts absolutely NO EFFORT into her homework. She tries to skate by doing the absolute bare minimum required not to FAIL. She is already in remedial reading and math and neither of her parents seem to even be bothered by it. Even more disturbing, SHE is not bothered by her poor performance in the least! So we start working on her little worksheet and the first thing she does is flip it over and check for problems on the back of the page. Then she lets out this huge groan because there is indeed work on the other side. Just to illustrate how little effort she exerts, I'll give an example. They are studying the Civil War in her Social Studies class. One of the questions on the worksheet asked her to use as much detail as possible describing the daily lives of slaves during the Civil War. Her answer..."It was bad." Whenever I try to patiently extract more out of her, she puts her thumb in her mouth, starts whining and throws a little tantrum about how she doesn't want to learn, she wants dessert.

My SO walked up to the table while we were suffering through this worksheet and almost immediately got frustrated with his daughter's lack of effort, but just walked away and left me to deal with the headache. Once she finished he made her dessert and the two of us stepped outside to talk. He shared his disgust with her effort level and I suggested that he tell her that she had to read a book until bedtime instead of watching TV because of her behavior during homework time. He agreed, but then must have decided on the short walk back into the house that it took too much effort on his part to enforce, so he did nothing.

This example is by no means catastrophic, but it is becoming illustrative of how SO handles his daughter. He threatens to discipline her and to enforce rules, but there is never any follow through. And then he scratches his head like a moron and wonders why his daughter is so far behind all of the other little girls in her peer group. DUH!!! Because she is babied to death. Seriously, she does NOTHING for herself and no one has any expectations of her. It's pathetic. She can't even make herself a snack or self-regulate her bathing. She does NO chores. Her room is a constant disaster. And I've even noticed that she has very few friends.

Whenever I bring any of these things to my SO's attention, he reminds me that I don't have any kids, so what do I know... Well, I may not have any kids, but I was a 9 year old girl once and I know that this is not normal 9 year old girl behavior. When I was 9, I was a lot more self sufficient, and not a weekend went by that I didn't have plans with one of my little girlfriends. My SO and I have been living together for almost a year now and I have only seen her make plans with a playmate ONCE on his weekends. I know that the answer is to just mentally check out and not care, but I am dreading dealing with her as she gets older and more sloth-like. UGH!

Anyway, thanks for letting me vent. I think instead of participating in daddy-daughter time tonight, I'll opt for a nice long workout at the gym, ALONE!