Any tips for an increasingly smart mouthed SD?
And by tips, I am not just talking about her smart mouth, but her father's underwhelming reactions to it. While SD10 is slowly improving in some ways (according to DH, these are vast improvements, according to me they are existent, but spotty and relatively minor compared to where she should be).
She's had this nasty habit of running her mouth to me for a while, but it seems to be getting worse. She will tell me at the dinner table that I am annoying, and will say other derogatory things about me. Last night, she had my best friends' much younger daughter come out and announce to our Super Bowl guests that I am NOT SD's mom in any way. Lovely.
None of it is epic, but its like death by a thousand scratches. At this point, I'd kill for her dad to step up and let her have it when she talks to me with such disrespect. Currently, he's fallen into a habit of just walking away from SD and ignoring her. It's an improvement from him just expecting me to suck it up and ignore her while we all suffer through a meal (he will leave the table and let her eat alone if she is going to be rude. I've started giving her an earful when she does it, but she knows I'm full of hot air when it comes to the discipline pecking order.
Anyone else have a sassy ass and a lazy DH on their hands? All tips are appreciated
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Where we are at right now, I
Where we are at right now, I think that I'm going to start making more of a stink in front of him while she is being disrespectful. Right there in the moment. I'm tired of feeling like a nag bringing this shit up to him after she leaves the room and locks herself away in her bedroom or after she goes to bed. I think you make an excellent point about how her disrespect toward me is also disrespect toward DH.
The longer it goes on, the more I fantasize about cracking her upside the face. Willie would never do that, I think I am going to try sending her to her room and removing her precious tv when she's being a little bitch to me. Guess ill see if Mr Guilty Dad has my back or not
I agree with this, at least
I agree with this, at least in my situation.
My SK's don't even acknowledge my presence, which after hearing some of the stories on this board is much better than having them be outright rude to me.
I have no clue if my DH has REALLY talked to them about their behavior... he says he has, but it's never in front of me and history has confirmed that he's basically afraid to say anything that might make them upset (they may not want to come over anymore!!)
I do agree that when they disrespect me, they are also disrespecting their dad, but I don't think my DH sees it that way... in his mind, as long as they still come over all is good.
I finally got to the point I wouldn't even ask DH to say anything. What's the use? Firstly, it would only confirm that it was annoying and hurtful to me, which they delight in. Secondly, the point of no return was years ago, nothing is going to change their behaviors towards me. The only thing I can hope (and I don't put a lot of faith in it) is that when they're adults maybe they'll realize I'm really not as bad as they've led themselves to believe.
We do at least have some improvement, in that when DH sees it happening (if they refuse to acknowledge something I've said directly to them) he'll say, "Did you hear what she said?"
You have to point it out very
You have to point it out very clear when it is happening. SD did this crap. DH ignored it until I kept pointing it out. When others started pointing it out as well, that also helped. Unfortunately, for him, he had stuck his damn head in the sand for so long, that when he did finally start cracking down, it was harsh and she sued to live with BM. I haven't seen her in two years and now he only sees her about once a month....She is still pulling crap, but at least it is not in my household.
Just point it out every single time, you will be a bitch for doing so, but it is the only way. Also, my son started getting mouth because he was seeing Sd and SS do it. I made sure to call him out every single time in front of them. My comments were "I am not their mother and can not punish them, but I can punish you and I will". He shaped up and it made DH more aware when it came to his kids and lack of parenting....
That is the little private
That is the little private conversations between daddy and daughter that we were just talking about not that long ago. Those conversations are done in passing, reward the sd with knowing she is getting tonyou anddoes absolutly nothing.
Remove urself. She starts at the dinner table, call her out and leave.
He can call her out and have talks til he is blue in the face, the talks with no consequences dont work
I have this situation but it
I have this situation but it is our own BD (DH's and mine). I went through this with SD as well, so I know how you are feeling. I've maybe come to the conclusion that there is just NO teaching some people how to parent. BD mouthed off to me nonstop last night, to the point where she got her cell phone privileges taken away (she is allowed to play games on an old one of DH's). DH stood there the whole time and watched her mouth off to me. Agreed she doesn't know when to stop. So what does he do? Goes into her room to "talk to her" and I hear him, instead of telling her she is wrong to talk back to me, telling her it is "easier" if she would just be quiet. What?! Here I am telling her about obedience to your parents, and he's telling her to "just get along" with me. I don't think he has a clue.
We have her tonight, so I've
We have her tonight, so I've got a little plan in store... The first time she mouths off to me, I am going to get up, walk directly into here room, and remove the power chord to her precious TV. Then, I'm going to lock myself in my bedroom and tell both her and her dad that she can have it back when she learns how to behave like something shy of a monster! Maybe they can take advantage of the quiet time to have a little talk about her manners (insert maniacal laughter here)! Muahahahahaha
I am glad some of you have
I am glad some of you have husband's that call their brats out on their shitty behavior. I would love to see that more often. It happens sometimes. It seems DH either says nothing or will sometimes say things in private with his kids. I fully get - praise in public, punish and private, however - I'm not new here. I've been around for years. They can be corrected in front of me. I'd may fall out of my chair the first few times, though.