You guys called it, he knew about his kid

Well Ladies you called it. My husband is a scam artist and a fucking liar. My attorney friend came over and I have a consult scheduled with an attorney from her firm this afternoon. We did some investigating of our own and here's what we found.

*Excuse my language, I'm drinking wine and I'm pissed*

Pulledd cell records - Yep, he's been calling the whore for over a year. Just found out he had a fucking kid my ass! That's as far back as I went, but I am going to assume he's known for quite some time.

Pulled a credit report on his lying ass - He's paying her rent, bought her a car, has credit cards for places like Children's place and gymboreee??

No wonder the whore let her come stay with us, he's known this kid for a while, maybe since she was born!!! I am a fucking idiot, seriously, how could I not know this was going on? I keep replaying the visit over and over, he was so damn paranoid not because it was his first visit, he was paranoid that the little kid was gonna rat his lying ass out!

Locksmith comes first thing in the morning. I have changed all of my personal banking and account passwords and am working on getting his name off of anything I had him on. I am also transfering half of his money from his account to mine. I deserve that much after what he's put me through. Bet I'll get a fucking phone call when he sees that shit!

I'm not leaving my loft until the locks are changed. My friend has called her husband and they are both going to stay here with me if dipship makes the dumb decision tos how up here.

You ladies called it, and now I'm pissed.

rajuncajun's blog
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Oh good grief, sorry about my

Oh good grief, sorry about my spelling guys, this country girl is letting loose...

I'm working on it. I think

I'm working on it. I think I'll have his car towed as well. It's leased under my business... yep I think I will.

I really can't think of

:jawdrop: :jawdrop: :jawdrop:

I really can't think of anything else to say just yet.

:jawdrop: :jawdrop: :jawdrop:

Wow. I am sorry this is

Wow. I am sorry this is happening to you but I am sooo glad you found out the truth.

I am glad you are taking care of business!!!

OH god rajun. I am so sorry.

OH god rajun. I am so sorry. That is salt in the wound. At least you found your inner bitch - don't lose it. Hold onto that for now, there will be time to grieve later.

We are here for you if you need to talk, rant, vent, cry or just plain freak out.

I would suggest to act like

I would suggest to act like you know nothing about this until you get everything done you need to take care of!

THIS.... Don't give him any

THIS....

Don't give him any upperhand, let him assume you are totally in the dark still.

God Rajun, I wonder what tipped the scales all of a sudden now if this has been going on for a long time, why now? Unfortunately, I don't think you are quite to the bottom of it yet. Sorry.

:jawdrop: :jawdrop: :jawdrop: :jawdrop: :jawdrop: :jawdrop:

I'm not sure what made me

I'm not sure what made me come here today but Im glad I did. There were some good points brought up that i hadn't thought of yet and I just really appreciate all of you caring.

oh...my....god. No

oh...my....god. :jawdrop: :jawdrop: :jawdrop: :jawdrop: :jawdrop:

No wonder he isn't calling back, he's been planning this for who knows how long. And no wonder he isn't staying in a hotel. I'll just go ahead and assume he didn't buy a house either. I cannot believe he didn't just come clean a long time ago. Why in the hell would he stay so long?!?!?! He obviously has been planning this if he's been paying HER RENT AND BOUGHT HER A CAR! WTF!

I am soooooo sorry! I can't believe someone would do this to someone else. How can those two possibly live with themselves?

OMG! That's horrible. I feel

OMG! That's horrible. I feel so bad for you, hang in there! You do deserve better.

My guess is he either knew

My guess is he either knew about the kid all along but wasn't in touch with BM anymore or was contacted about the kid after getting married to rajun. Somewhere during that time he probably started having feelings for the BM and they decided to try and make their "happy little family :sick: " work.

maybe he lied because if you

maybe he lied because if you have an ex you are still in love with and a child, it's harder to meet women and get married

I'm sitting here waiting on

I'm sitting here waiting on my friend to come back. Her and her husband are coming to stay the night. Please o please don't let me do anything stupid like empty his account or go on a shopping spree on his credit card or something else...

Question to banking people. If I submit this transfer from his account to mine (same bank) will it show as pending or will it go through immediately so he can't stop it. We aren't on each other's accounts, but I know his banking login info. I changed all mine, created new email address etc.. I just dont watn him to be able to stop it or see it pending and figure out that I know before Im ready for him to know. ya know?

You said you both have money,

You said you both have money, so I wouldn't do anything that would get you into trouble. Are you on his account? If not, they might think it looks suspicious and call him to see if it's legit. I would simply do things you have control over...his car is in your business name? bye bye car. Anything else in your name? cell phones? turn it off. Anything you can do legally.

^ GREAT ADVICE ^ Please don't

^ GREAT ADVICE ^

Please don't do anything that it going to make YOU look like the ass. Let him be the bad-guy all the way around.

It's the best revenge. I assure you.

He's knows he's being a sh*t about it. Whether he will admit it or not is not important. HE KNOWS.

Thus, if you behave like an adult and handle the situation impeccably and with class - he will NEVER be able to justify his behavior as "ok."

No way. This is his turd to eat. Make it bitter as hell to swallow. Trust me. Please, trust me.

It should show immediately if

It should show immediately if it's two accounts at the same bank. But see my note below - I'm not sure that you can necessarily do that if it's not a joint account.

if you are not on his account

if you are not on his account but know his info... DON"T DO IT!! if your not on his account it's a federal felony. You can go to court and a lawyer can get you half of it the right way.

Stop and think... this will affect you for the rest of your life. BM#4 did the same thing. She took her cheating husbands credit card and took her frineds on a vacation during their divorce and now has a federal felony on her record forever.

Just one thing - you said you

Just one thing - you said you were transferring half the money out of his account into yours. I'd check with your attorney before doing that if it's not a joint account. If it's not, and you have access to statements so you can prove what was in there when he left (as it's a marital asset), hang on to those but I'd get legal advice before you pull money out of the account. It may be okay, but I'd make sure first.

If the car is leased under your business, then I don't see how that should be an issue at all. But the account thing makes me a little wary.

^This Don't take any money

^This

Don't take any money out of that account, but DO print out all bank statements while you still have access. You will need those in court. I would also say that you should not tip your hand until you've filed and received the temporary restraining order stating the neither one of you are to dispose of any assets until final judgement.

Yeah, I actually like Echo's

Yeah, I actually like Echo's idea better. You said he only took a bag with him? Welp, looks like you and your friends are going to have a nice, big bonfire tonight. }:)

Not exactly. Legally, as far

Not exactly. Legally, as far as banking regulations go, if she walked into the bank to transfer money from an account solely in his name into one in her name, unless she was also listed on the account (either as a signer/POA or something else), they couldn't do it. If she does it online because she has his login info, then yes, the transfer will go through, but only because they have no way of knowing that it wasn't him that initiated the transfer. That is the type of stuff that judges in divorces get pissy about. Print out what you can so you know the value of his accounts, but don't move money out of an account solely in his name unless you've gotten actual legal advice to do so. If you're in a marital property state with no prenup, you'll likely get half of it anyway, but you can't just help yourself.

I'm a signer. found that

I'm a signer. found that document.

Then the bank can't stop you,

Then the bank can't stop you, but I'd keep that money separate and keep track of what's in there and what you're taking out in case you are ordered to return it. Signer or not, he's still the account owner. Better to be safe than sorry - even if you end up getting your hand slapped by a judge, at least you can undo it easily and have a paper trail.

You just gave me the first

You just gave me the first REAL laugh I've had today. I checked with attorney friend who said I am entitled to half, I do have statements, I do have statements all is available online.

I am trying to get all my financials in order before I start the big fire which will include telling his whole family, his boss, everyone.

Hes got some collector stuff here from a certain Dallas football team he loves. Yeah Im gonna do something really mean with it. Its actually irreplaceable stuff. Ideas? Suggestions? I'd like to film it and send it to him also.

Entitled to half and being

Entitled to half and being able to take half right now are two different things, but I will assume that she knew you were going to go ahead and take the money out of the account.

I would strongly suggest though that you don't damage his property in any way. Again, something your attorney friend should be advising you of. And something that makes you look bad if you end up fighting this out in court.

Be pissed, I would, but be smart.

Make him THINK you did

Make him THINK you did something to his stuff but DON"T until you go to court with a judge. Judge do not think highly on this stuff. I Know you are soo spitin mad right now but make him think you burned it. Take photos of his items and maybe a few of them in the fire or what ever you decide to do but just hide or hold onto them until you know that the judge won't hold it against you.

Drive out to the "country"

Drive out to the "country" (since he's so fond of it) and through it in the nastiest pig pen you can find for them to play with. }:)

Invite his clothes to a

Invite his clothes to a bleach party. When the party is over, deposit the clothes on her front step.

I will buy it all for $1.00.

You can split the proceeds with him as a "marital asset" so he doesn't get upset and say you gave his stuff away for free/ broke it/ got rid of it. }:)

The price tag another "fan" got it for will hurt twice as bad as knowing the collection is gone LOL

"yard sale"

I am SO SORRY that you are

I am SO SORRY that you are going through this!

What an asshole.

My only advice to you, girl-to-girl:

COVER YOUR ASS and grieve later.

It's going to hurt like hell, but I assure you - you have dodge a huge f*cking bullet.

Great list. Thanks. I got

Great list. Thanks. I got some of those but not all of them. I can't do anything with his work ins or retirement until divorce stuff right? I think I remember friend saying that it will be awarded to me?

I would care if it affected

I would care if it affected the outcome. There's a difference between protecting yourself and shooting yourself in the foot.

As far as the work stuff goes, they won't tell you anything anyway and cannot move assets without a written court order (or a distribution request signed by him).

How long have you been married? I'm assuming there was no pre-nup?

I wonder if BM is expecting

I wonder if BM is expecting kid#2.

You know what? I was trying

You know what? I was trying to figure out WHY NOW?? Why the charade with rajun? I don't get it...

And then this thought occurred to me. Maybe BM was the "piece on the side" and is preggers again and lowered the ultimatum... lose her or lose me.

It's the only thing that would make sense to me.

BTW, I like Echo's idea!

That is what I was

That is what I was thinking...

Holy. Shit. This guy is an

Holy. Shit. This guy is an ass wipe of the highest order. Good on you for letting your inner bitch loose. I hope you nail his ass to the wall. }:)

Oh, BTW, put down the wine

Oh, BTW, put down the wine and pick up the tequila!

Thanks ladies. I've got to

Thanks ladies. I've got to get off of here and keep diggin through this mess. I will keep yall posted. Thanks again for all the support, means more than you know!

I know there are couple of

I know there are couple of lawyers on Step Talk, and while they can't give advice - it would be nice if one of them would weigh in. It seems like everyone's jumping on the "do whatever you want and kick him in the nuts now" bandwagon, but not thinking of potential consequences. I get anger, but slow down before you put yourself in a very bad position. This change in attitude seems very quick. While it may very well be justified, you have done a complete 180 from your prior post - you need time to process.

And that includes half of the

And that includes half of the house he just bought since they are still married and there is no legal separation on file

There is a God. Can you

There is a God. Can you imagine spending one more minute giving yourself to someone who doesn't deserve you? I love how God has worked in my life. Everytime it hasn't worked out (Happily married for 6 years now) it has been because the guy was a LOSER. Here's your sign...rejoice. Thank God and know that 1 year from now, your life will look far different and for the better. Be strong and know that we are all on YOUR side!!!

ANYTHING he bought you are

ANYTHING he bought you are entitled to half of... That may include the stuff he has bought for her as well!!

I thought he left last

I thought he left last weekend. If he was going to do something, he likely would have by now. Everyone needs to calm down. You're advising her to take, hide or destoy marital assets. I'm surpised she was able to get this much information about cellphones and bank accounts so easily. Usually someone hiding a secret life (and child) doesn't leave passwords so accessible or willingly provide them. There's an awful lot that doesn't make sense, and if she's right, going off like this is just going to muddy the waters.

To no surprise, men are dumb.

To no surprise, men are dumb. He probably didn't think about better hiding his affairs because he thought Cajun was so in love and devoted to him that she would never look into things. I actually know a lot of guys that think that way, only to later realize a pissed off or hurt woman will go to any length to find the truth. He is a puke and with her having access to Internet and to his social and other important information it doesn't take long to get information. Trust me. }:)

I'm confused about parts of

I'm confused about parts of it too....I didn't read every post, but the finances aren't making sense to me. Rajun has access to bank accounts...so how could he have been paying for a car, a mortgage, and credit cards to clothing stores without a discrepancy showing up between what he makes and what he deposits?? I can see a couple hundred dollars being overlooked here and there, but we're talking at least a couple grand?? Every month?

Rajun is lawyering up - so

Rajun is lawyering up - so that will keep her on the legal side of things.

Once you figure it all out Rajun, keep us posted - and defininately if you need ideas how to make him hurt beyong his wildest dreams - we are ALL here for you.

Just ask your lawyer before implementing 'some' of the suggestions - this is the most rotten thing I have read here ever...

My thoughts were along the

My thoughts were along the same as Foxie, BM isn't new she's been around for awhile now. I'd be digging deep get my ducks in a row and let my lawyer blow it all up in his face. I know beyond knowing how you feel right now. Take all that pain all that anger hold onto it tight and use it as your strength! Don't do anything that will blow up on you later because it will. Cut off all contact RIGHT NOW don't text don't call don't answer him if he does. I know you want to it'll take all you have to not do these things to not go over there and make a scene. Give your keys and phone to your friend. I went nutbag on my now exH over his affair and sweetie that's what this is, I embarrassed myself so badly by my initial behavior and wish someone had stopped me and said these things to me. Rip him in court, destroy him LEGALLY and there are lots of ways to do that }:) . Don't be a push over but don't demean yourself for a broken heart. Hugs sweetie you'll need them.

{{{{Hugs}}}} I am so sorry.

{{{{Hugs}}}}
I am so sorry. Best of luck to you.

"It's over. He bought a house

"It's over. He bought a house in the town where his daughter lives. He left me.

I am a wreck. This happened last weekend and I have stayed home all week and kept to myself. I haven't told any of my family yet. I guess if I don't say it out loud, it's not true."

From this morning's post. He left last weekend. He put the offer in on the house on 5/2, not this past Wednesday. If he left a week ago, I'd think he would have locked down his personal finances. Yes, men can be stupid but someone who's smart enough to hide a kid would have taken his passwords with him or at least changed everything after he left so she couldn't get access to his money. And I have a hard time imagining an attorney would advise her to take money out of an account that is titled solely in his name, even if she is an authorized signer. That is not the same as an owner.

Flame me if you will, but I'm a bit skeptical given the quick turn of events.

And I also don't think the

And I also don't think the "attorney friend" that was helping her do some "digging" this afternoon would have sat there while she pulled his credit report unauthorized. That would get the attorney friend disbarred.

I like to give people the

I like to give people the benefit of the doubt, but I must point out:

The day we got "Crewed", and crew's acct. was deleted: April 11, 4 weeks and 2 days ago.
Rajun joined the next day...4 weeks, 1 day ago.

Could be a coincidence I suppose.....

I do give people the benefit

I do give people the benefit of the doubt, until a large amount of evidence points to the contrary. I'm seeing a lot of evidence, right down to a similar writing style. I was skeptical as soon as the "attorney friend" said she could take money out of his account, then I went back and read the other blogs. I hadn't before yesterday.

I'm not going to come out and say it yet, but the word "bullshit" is on the tip of my tongue....

So he has known the whole

So he has known the whole time and is just now moving without you? Do you think he has been involved more with bm than you think? I know its worse to think about but if he bought a house close to her and is treating you the way he is maybe he is rekindling something with her. I'd burn everything too. What an ass! I am sorry you have to go through this.

"I do know that the offer on

"I do know that the offer on the house was accepted because I know how to look up that type of information." - also from this morning's post.

How do you look up to see if an offer on a house has been accepted unless you've hacked into the real estate agent's computer. That is not public information. If the sale had closed and there was a mortgage recorded, that is public information, but an offer to purchase a house would only be in the records of the agents involved in the transaction.

I'm just saying that this does not make sense. At all.

But if I'm wrong, good luck. I'll eat crow on this if I'm wrong, but I really don't think I am.

Some realtors will post when

Some realtors will post when an offer has been accepted on the sale sign in front of the house. Some will post it on the website, so people know to maybe keep an eye on it in case something falls through, but to look elsewhere.
Just saying.

Rajun, My condolences on your

Rajun,

My condolences on your DHs complete lack of character.

You are doing the absolutely right thing. Change the locks, repo your property (leased car, money, etc....) and file for divorce yesterday if not sooner.

This kind of "secret" is unrecoverable from a marital perspective IMHO.
Move on to an amazing life and put his idiot morally and character bankrupt ass behind you.
I am a guy and this kind of crap just makes me want to beat some idiot man ass.

Your DH reminds me quite a bit of my XW who ran off with her geriatric Fortune 500 executive sugar daddy two months after our 2nd anniversary. She had been whoring around with him and several others for the majority of your marriage and was very adept at keeping it a secret from me.

She called me twice within the months after she moved out (I had the locks re-keyed) to inform me that she was pregnant by her Geriatric John. The first time she called back after a couple of months to inform he she had miscarried. The second time she called to ask what she should do since she was pregnant again. Why these idiots think their lack of character is our problem to play with is beyond me.

I am just lucky that I never spawned with her and that I did not end up with some heinous STD. You will be able to put your DH firmly in your past as I have done with my XW since you have no children with him.

Good luck and again my condolences.

Im so glad that you have been

Im so glad that you have been strong and decided to get rid of him, some people would allow themselves to be talked around with bullshit, as you know you cannot trust a word that comes out of his deceitful mouth, if you allow someone to treat you like shit you are saying its ok, all you need now is to hang his balls off a light fitting, he needs to be neutured so he can't procreate again.

I'm reading these blogs AND

I'm reading these blogs AND all the comments......i'm just smiling and reading.

i USUALLY miss the good stuff. And I will probably miss lots again cause in about a half hour I have to leave my computer for the day.............grrrrrr

You are here

You guys called it, he knew about his kid

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