My DH - big tough tattooed man that he is - can be a real softy with his boys.

Thank goodness he has seen the light when it comes to disciplining the skids and having expectations of them around the home (you know, other than play video games all day and demand that money be spent on them). We would not be married if he didn't.

He still, though, feels the need to shield them from the full force of Twuntzilla's raging stupidity. Case in point: this weekend, skids were with Twuntzilla. Skid2 had plans to go to a friend's birthday party Saturday afternoon, and spend the night at a sleepover. Twuntzilla was well aware of these plans.

DH had been working Saturday, as was I, and when he got off of work he noticed a missed call from the skids. Called them back - mind you, this is around half an hour or so before the party was slated to begin - and found out that they were out fishing. They had, in fact, JUST arrived at the fishing spot. DH asked if anyone (Twuntzilla or her equally slack jawed mother, or maybe one of their mouth breathing boyfriends) was planning on taking skid2 to the birthday party.

Of course, the answer he got was "Uh, well, I guess mom didn't really think about that."

So what does DH do? Drumroll please.......

He headed straight over to the fishing spot to swoop skid2 up and deliver him to the birthday party. Ya know, because skid shouldn't miss out just because his mother is an idiot.

Personally, I think this was ridiculous. I'm not a parent though, so I guess I just don't understand the desire to shield the skids from disappointment in their mom. I think he feels guilty and ashamed that he reproduced with such a dumb skank, so he tries to go above and beyond to make their lives easier.

I tried to get him to understand that it's her parenting time. Let her sink or swim, or whatever, on her own. It also REEKS of the way things worked when they were still together - she fucks up, he gets to be the savior, and she never has to deal with the consequences of not THINKING things through (like having a whiny disappointed kid nagging at her all day).

This mentality - that DH is dad ALL THE TIME and Twuntzilla is mom when it suits her - is also the reason that the skids will call DH to mediate when they are having a dispute at her house, when she is RIGHT IN THE NEXT ROOM. (He's getting better about telling them that he is NOT the parent in that house, and that if they have an issue they need to let her deal with it, or handle it themselves, but still. It's irritating.)

I wish he could just let go when they are with her, but he can't. Twuntzilla is essentially an EOWE babysitter, with DH making all of the parenting calls. Sometimes I still can't believe he was ever with that moron.