You know that feeling you get!?
You know the one. The ones deeply and fiercely connected to BM. The ones that you have earned (not unlike wrinkles) for all the days and months and years if experience you have dealing with BM and her bullshit.
Few outside the circle understand. You know in your gut that BM is up to something, you might even know exactly the cards she's going to play...and are completely helpless to stop it. You know the hurt and torment the kids will be put through, along with your SO, and yet there is nothing that came be done to stop it - "they" wouldn't listen, they refused to punish her before this enabling her to believe and quite frankly know she can do anything she wants with zero recourse. She will stop at nothing to get what she wants and the more destruction in the process the "happier" she thinks she'll be, excep of course that nagging little problem that lurks - she has no ability to ever be truly happy. Therefore all she does for spite and anger will never truly satisfy her hunger for revenge...
So - it will continue and she will do it again and all you can do it sit back, watch and be ready to grasp ahold of your SO broken heat when she rips it apart again. That's where I see myself sometime between today and next Friday - the hammers dropping and nothing is going to stop it. She's going to get what she wants at any cost, and she wants the kids next weekend, to hell with DH.
- Queencow's blog
- Log in or register to post comments
Comments
We did the last two times she
We did the last two times she denied access - 2 months each time (2011, 2012) they simply told her not to do it again and did nothing. Not even make up time. They don't really care. Besides the issue is there is an important even next weekend. Even if he gets make up time there aren't always do-overs in life - this is one if those time.
Sounds very much like a BM we
Sounds very much like a BM we deal with, I also believe she will never truly be happy, even if SO fall of the face of the earth and she no longer had to 'share' SD, she would still want revenge, so SO's mother would become her new target of blame, she would with hold visitation between SD and her Nana, it would be never ending.
I've only been with SO for 2 years, but already I have figured out some of her patterns, when she is 'behaving' and being somewhat nice at exchanges, you can guarantee SO will get a call from his lawyer shortly after. SO is still falling for her 'niceness' though, drives me nutz.
I realize and accept that she WILL NEVER EVER CHANGE, that we will ALWAYS be dealing with some sort of drama with her, but I really need SO to see that, to stop trying to 'accommodate' her requests in hopes that she will 'learn'. That's when he gets himself hurt, and it's hard for me to stand by and watch. The best thing to do is have strong boundaries and stick to the CO. And hope for a comet to fall from the sky and land directly on BM.
I know that feeling all too
I know that feeling all too well. Every time I know GUBM is up to something, FDH brushes it off and says "Oh, no, she's not that smart/clever, she's not calculating like you think, she'd never do that" but, amazingly, every time she does basically what I predict. After four and a half years, you'd think he'd learn that my hunches are pretty spot on :/ I know it's coming next month. As soon as GUBM sent FDH that "I will have to check my schedule" text message, it's a pretty good indicator that SD's visit will be unlikely to happen. And if SD does visit, there's going to be some sort of drama or caveat attached to the visit.
I know, right? This is a
I know, right? This is a great site
It's almost hilarious that FDH would ever insist GUBM wouldn't be manipulating or calculating when she manipulated his ass right out of his house and manipulated him into paying the entire mortgage PLUS rent on his apartment for six months.
Had the same feeling last
Had the same feeling last night as DH and BM were going over Thanksgiving/Christmas plans. She was "OK, whatever you want. I really don't know what my family is doing yet. No big deal." When the holidays roll around and her family has finally decided all hell will break loose if DH doesn't give in to her regardless of what she has said previously. We actually take bets on what she will do. He's growing a backbone though. Perhaps with the new schedule in place all of the nonsense with stop.