I have been a member for a while and mostly read.. strange how almost everything I read is so much like my SD and SS .
This may be more of a vent but i am open to any comments .

I guess i need to start back a month or so before i get into my vent.. We have an in ground pool. and SD of course wants to come swim, which i don't have any problem with,
but she never calls or lets us know when she is coming. Again, shes family so i am deal with it.. What i am NOT ok with is her bring people with her when we are not there.

DH and I both work 12 hour rotating shift work but we are on same schedules.. we are getting ready for work one evening going to work on midnight shift when SD calls and ask if she can come swim.. i was surprised she called first but DH tells her sure BUT, he does not want people there when we are not there. So we go to work.

We have cameras outside and inside our house.. I am at work and my cell phone pings and i look and she is there swimming and it pings again and i see people there.. ping, ping, ping.. yes you guessed it.. 6 couples with kids and a dog are drinking and swimming in my pool.. now before anyone asked why i don't like it is because our pool is 9' deep on one end.. she don't watch her kids and we lost a dog in our pool and i am so terrified of it happening to a child.
DH sends me a text and ask if i see what is going on. i said yes and he says he is not happy about it. So after this incident a new rule was made that NO ONE swims if we are not home..
Im getting to my vent soon, ok a couple weeks go by.. and we get two puppies.. my DH is a big time animal lover and everyone knows this. He will get on to GK's if they mistreat any animals. so with this in mind my vent is...

We are on day shift now at work and phone pings,, yep SD is there with her husband and three GK's swimming in pool. after they swim she goes into our house and lets out one of the puppies.

Both puppies are afraid of them all.. they are loud and it scares them.. well one of the GK's try to catch pup to get her back in the house and dog is terrified and runs around yard..(i watched video later) we have fenced in yard.. well, SD opens gate to where pool is and dog runs thru gate and finds a opening under fence and runs away..
Now i don't watch any of this at the time from camera because i am mad that she was there in first place because of our rule so i turn phone off camera..

I get home and DH gets home 1/2 hour before me.. He is standing on porch with sour look on his face.. I ask what is wrong.. he tells me they lost our dog.. This happened hour and a half before we got home so we go out looking and she has already called her other family and friends to come help look for her..

DH is pissed.. he tells me he told her if anything happens to his dog she is dead.. then asked her why the Hell did she let her out of house..that was all that was said and he goes out looking for her.

we look for couple more hours and my whole housing development is helping us look.(love all my neighbors) . its starting to get dark and i am getting really worried because we have coyotes in back yard.. i let my other pup out into yard to bark at people walking around and she comes running home from who knows where.. Thank goodness..

So here is my vent.. SD has not called since it happened almost a month ago.. she tell MIL that her father owes HER an apology for cussing at her in front of her 10 year old child. I agree he should not of cussed, But she cusses and cusses at them every single day and kids cuss too.. not that it makes it better but i think she is trying to play the victim in this whole thing because she will not admit it was her fault dog got out anyway and had the whole neighborhood involved .

Surprisingly DH is not backing down about it because he don't feel he owes her anything when she didn't even call in first place and came without us knowing it..I am pretty sure she was aware of the new Rule but i can't be sure because i try to stay out of their lives when she is around.. disengaging is great.

I am staying out of it because i don't want to be blamed for anything said or done.. she is bad about never taking blame for anything and finding fault in other people..

I am upset only because i do feel bad for DH.. he don't deserve to be treated like she is treating him. but that is his battle.. but i do care for him..

He thinks she will come around as the holidays get closer.. is it bad i would like it if she don't? i just hate that she keeps GK's away from him.. He has always been there for her. and now shes ghosting him. only good part about this is i think DH is waking up to her childish ways.. did i mention SD is 36 years old..