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T Minus 1 day until the custody hearing, and FDH got smacked in the face tenfold

pixiedust10's picture

If you have been following my story, FDH has been fighting for nineteen months now for custody of his children from their terrible mother. FDH received an email from his attorney. We are dumbfounded by what is in this email.

This email is from the dfcs attorney to FDH's attorney who cc'd the GAL, I'm posting the short version

Here is the gist of the email that the attorney received from the DFCS attorney, who also sent it to the GAL

The email on FDH/BMcase. The Psychs came back for mom and dad; neither is very bad. Some recommendations regarding parenting and all- I’ve incorporated most into what is below.
DFCS recommendation is as follows:
SS7 will remain in care to assess his needs. We’ve requested some expedited evaluation from an institute. The child is settling into his placement and starting to receive treatment. The case plan for the parents will look like this:
1. Continue to participate with mental health treatment (This is good)
2. Complete parenting classes (She doesn't bother even with all the people helping her)
3. Participate with a parent aide (She's already had one and all this still happened)
4. Visit (The facility has recommended all of her visitation even by phone be supervised)
5. Cooperate (She doesn't know this word)
6. Both parents will not discuss with the children the pending custody issues, the mental health of the other child, or the other parent in a condescending manner (She has always done this, is still doing this, and will continue to do this as long as she has the kids)
7. Both parents will participate in Individual Counseling (No counseling will fix her, she had tons of it before this happened, even a aide to come to the house and help the family with their issues when they were with her)

SS10 will go home under the strict-terms of a protective order to the mother (WTF??????????)as it would be under the current Superior Court arrangement. If superior court changes its order, we could change ours in Juvenile. The terms of the protective order will be: (He doesn't want to go home to her, not that it matters. This is awful.)
1. SS10 is not to be around SS7 until such time that his therapist recommends; (I think it sucks that he can't visit his own brother, unless it's so he's not upset in that type of setting)
2. SS10 will have weekly therapy (This is good)
3. Both parents will not discuss with the children the pending custody issues, the mental health of the other child, or the other parent in a condescending manner (See above comment)
4. Complete parenting classes (FHD doesn't know if she's gone to hers, he's gone to his)
5. Participate with a parent aide (See above)
6. Continue to meet the needs of the child (But she can't keep the water and lights on and refuses to get a job???)
7. Make the child available for visitation as per the superior court case (Anything to get attention, she will do this)
8. Cooperate- make child available to the Department or GAL if requested. (See above)

They are very parent friendly, with the exception of having concerns about parenting SS7 right now. I think this will allow the Department the level of oversight to satisfy its concern regarding SS10 and will allow all parties to better assess the needs for SS7 going forward.
(GAL) you may feel the need to add something if I’ve left anything off.
Please let me know if this looks good.
Cheers,
(Idiot attorney for DFCS)

Comments

BSgoinon's picture

I can't believe they are recommending SS10 go to her. WTH? I would have to consider some serious law breaking in this case. I suppose we can only pray that the court over rules that.

pixiedust10's picture

He's the less problematic child, but it doesn't fix her being crazy...I'm praying, believe me I am.

PeanutandSons's picture

I've been following your story for a while....but I missed the beginning as to why bm is so horrible. Can I get a synopsis of why she had the kids removed from her care and why you guys think she's unfit?

pixiedust10's picture

Sure, Ok so the story is that FDH married his crazy high school girlfriend, had SS10 and SS7 with her and eventually opened his eyes to what she was, divorced her, and things have gotten progressively worse with her and the skids over the last four or so years to where she falsely accused FDH of abuseand got a TRO/TPO, it got dropped but not before skids got taken from her. She has tried to take the kids away, has admitted that she wishes she just moved the 2k miles away without even telling FDH and now they are in state custody. She has sent the kids to tons of different doctors and therapists, has tried to get them on disability, school has never been a priority with her to help them so they are both behind and need help. She has been insistent that SS7 has Aspergers, Autism, OCD, but any therapist or hospital that tells her otherwise and that it's behavioral/mood and parenting she writes off and finds a new one. She has not worked full time ever, worked maybe three months here and there after high school, did a little college classes, feels that since she was a five and dime store manager she can't do anything less than be a manager anywhere and people don't like that and that's why she couldn't keep a job. After skids were born it stopped altogether and since they started school she still hasn't done anything except mooch off everyone and everything.

pixiedust10's picture

WE don't know yet for sure. This is just the recommendation from DFCS so far. There are still a judge and GAL that have to weigh in, along with anything the foster mom has reported and the hospital.

pixiedust10's picture

Sorry for the caps on we, and for the we. I really try to be correct since I am not their stepmom yet and this is FDH's battle, but it is heartbreaking and I sincerely care about the skids

simifan's picture

DFCS' mission is to reunite the child(ren) with the biological parent who has primary custody. Since the court order has not been changed - they HAVE to try to reunite with BM. Don't give up hope yet.