Out of my mind over child support.....
Here's the history. BM did not have a job at time of divorce and told the judge she was going to go back to school and that it would take one year, DH makes 20.00 an hour. Judge orders $1100.00 a month (half of all his paychecks)in child support until BM finishes school and gets a job. Ok, fine. BM finishes school a year later and we pay the $150.00 for her to take her state certification test because she says without it she can't get a job. She took the test and became a Respiratory Therapist. She gets a job but tells DH she needs 6 months before they go back to court to reduce child support because the job is just temporary. After a couple month's she said it is just to hard for her to work so she quit! Come to find out, she never quit so we filed to modify child support. When we filed papers at the court they advised us that she had applied for food stamps for the kids so we had to file with the Attorney Generals Office, we did so. Great!!!
When DH served BM with the papers she freaked out and told him she will never be able to feed the kids if he reduces his child support. Here's the kicker.....we found out she is making $40.00 an hour!!! She told us this is true but it is on an "on call" basis and she does not always know how many hours she will get in a week. She asked that we pay her $700.00 a month for the next 6 month's because that is when her job will become permanant, then she will agree to nothing. She wanted him to sign some papers that he agreed to that so they don't have to go to court. She does not want to go to court because they are asking her to provide financials for the last six month's because she failed to advise welfare when she got a job! He was actually going to do it!!!! I told him it needed to be done through courts because she had already told him that she got a letter stating that they took her welfare away and are investigating her, they requested proof of income, she said "I am just going to pretend like I didn't get the letter"...wow!
So, I have a couple questions that some of you may know...
1. Do you think the state is going to make DH pay back the money BM fraudulently got from the state even though he has never missed a child support payment?
2. Do you think I am being unreasonable in thinking that $700.00 a month is still a crazy amount of money when she makes double what he does?
Help!
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Comments
Child support must go through
Child support must go through the court system. No ifs ands or buts about it! She is taking advantage of your DH, the state etc. Just another money grubbing BM.
No way in hell should he pay her that money NO WAY! BM should have to pay the money back or go to jail, not DH.
He needs to put his foot down and if he doesn't you need to put your foot up his ass. Sorry to be so blunt
No way!!! She has a job she
No way!!! She has a job she needs to figure it out like the rest of us!!! I can't stand these entitled BM's who think just because they popped out a kid they get to never work so that the fathers can foot the bill!!
I am in CA but we had a similar situation. BM never worked and she was awared 1700.00 per month!!! It is for two years and we can go back to get and adjustment in that time the judge told her to get a JOB!!! She cried to the judge that she was going to some tech school to get a degree so sche can support herself. It will be one year in April and she hasn't done squat!! Next April we will be filing for a review and to get it lowered.
Pretty sure whatever fraud
Pretty sure whatever fraud she's commited it on her. Your DH has nothing to do with. He should however feel free to go through the court system and do whatever he needs to do to make sure that he's paying the right amount and she's held accountable for her share of the cost of raising their children.
The state should set the amount and a lot of times you can find a calculator online to help with such things.
It is the same way in
It is the same way in Arizona, they do it by what you make. We have the kids half the time, so accourding to the child support calculator she would owe him 200.00 a month, I don't want her money I just don't want to have to pay her 700.00 when we have the kids half the time also. I have 3 kids of my own and it hasnt been easy supporting mine and his for the last 3 years!!! I am ready for a break! (I work two jobs!) She needs to step up and take some responsibility.
Her reason for wanting the 700.00 is because she does not know how many hours she will get every week.
News Flash....I was a single mom with 3 kids and NO child support. I have a good job but not one that pays $40.00 an hour! My kids never went without and I did not rely on a their dad to support them, I simply got another job because he was a deadbeat dad. She can get another job if her hours are not steady!
Even with her "flexible"
Even with her "flexible" hours, the judge will calculate her average salary and she will need to be responsible for budgeting accordingly. I am a birth mom who receives child support and a step mom who helps my husband occasionally pay support. There is no other answer than to go through court because then it takes the stress out of support. Your DH definitely is paying too much, and she needs to work just like the rest of us. If her finances are a mess, it is up to her to get a better or another job. Child support is meant to supplement the difference in income so the CHILDREN don't have to substantially change their quality of life. It is not a means to support a woman (or man) who is too lazy to work. I have worked full time since I was 18, through the births of my children with the help of maternity leave. Yes, it is "hard" as your BM says, but it is my responsibility. So go to court and good luck! Don't make any deals with her because even if you put it in writing, it is not legal unless it goes through a judge or a court appointed mediator.
My DH wants to agree to the
My DH wants to agree to the 700.00, I am with all of you and say "let the court decide" but she has him convinced that if he does not agree to the 700.00 that the court will just keep it at 1100.00 because of her hours not being steady and the fact that she is going to have to pay the state back for the food stamps. I cannot convince him otherwise and it is really hurtful. I am trying not to take it personally but it is really hard not to feel like he is "choosing her over me"
P.S. he has agreed to go to
P.S. he has agreed to go to court, which is next week but he wants to agree to the 700.00 for 6 more month's.
I doubt the state will nail
I doubt the state will nail your DH for BM's fraud. BM on the otherhand may go to jail for her fraudulent behavior. In fact, her lies about not working to get your DH from filing for a reduction in CS when she was working could very well support the DA in prosecuting her for fraud.
As far as the $700 is concerned, check your state CS calculator to get an accurate estimate of what a judge will likely order as far a CS is concerned.
Your DH needs to stop falling for BMs bullshit and nail her ass in court. Once a CO is issued he should smack her with it any time she even things about deviating.
He also needs to quit falling for her guilt trip crap. He pays CS. If the kids starve because their mother is an idiot that is not your DHs problem. BM needs to step up and make quality decisions as a parent instead of pawning her crap off on your DH.
IMHO of course.