Not actually applying tough love but I pulled a stunt to get my SS30 (23 at the time) out of my house. We always rented because God forbid the mini wife (SD32) see Daddddeeeee own a home with anyone but her. She went to live with Mommmmeeee full time and DH and I were stuck with SS. He had graduated from HS several years before but never worked for long and was applying for student loans and dropping courses right after the loans showed up in his account. He was showing no sign whatsoever of evolving and there was no hope of him ever leaving.

I arranged a viewing and told DH I'm buying a place but there will be no room for adult kids and DH can come with me or continue living with his baybeees forever but not both. DH chose to buy a place with me.

SS had to move and ended up in a house full of 18 year old boys in uni. SS was 23 but not as mature or responsible as the 18 year old kids who kicked him out. He got a basement suite and got evicted within two weeks. In my province if a lease is signed the renter can't be kicked out like that but the owner wanted SS out so badly that she paid him to leave and not report her for violatiin of the Residential Tenancy Act. 

SS moved again but he was very hurt about getting evicted twice in the way he did. He ended up staying in his new place for years and got a great job. He has worked second jobs to help his fiancee with bills while she went to grad school. SS is like a completely different person. He used to be soooo irresponsible that he didn't even flush the toilet but now he waits on me hand and foot when he's at my place. He went to school and graduated and I attended his graduation. I bawled my eyes out and SS chuckled at me lol. When I got out of the hospital last year he was the first one to come and see me. Our relationship transformed when he was faced with fending for himself. He's doing really well at work and is pursuing promotions. It unreal how much he's changed. He knew about my stunt and was angry at first but every year on my birthday he thanks me for it. 

So while DH didn't set out to apply a tough love program my stunt that forced SS to become an adult worked even though that wasn't my aim. I only wanted to own a home and not have adult SKs living with me. SS evolving is a wonderful side effect though. 

DH and I applied tough love to our DD22 when she was 18 and it worked very very well. Hopefully Rags chimes in because when I told DH that we need to apply the tough love program to our DD it was based on Rags' Burning Platform Program.

Tough love for skids? No. It was tough love for DH that affected SS.

SS was living with a family member several states away from us while he "looked for" a job. He got kicked out when the family discovered drugs in his room.

DH was SHOCKED. NOT HIS BABY BOY. The rest of the world was aware that SS had been using for some time. DH paid for SS to stay in a hotel for one night while he found other accommodations. I was fine with that. One night turned into two. Two into three. Excuse after excuse about why SS couldn't find a place to live. Heck, he had unlimited free breakfast and free movies and Dad's credit card. No hurry on his part!

In good StepTalk form, I had to make it more painful for DH to have an upset wife than an upset son. I started with a loving discussion, reminded him exactly whose money was being spent and what that meant about our own financial situation, which was precarious at the time. Showed him how the daily hotel rate compared to the daily rate for our mortgage (about double). I'm not going to work 60+ hours while somebody else watches movies, makes excuses and gets high. But DH just COULDN'T risk his son being out on the dangerous streets or in a dangerous shelter. He was SURE there would be a solution the next day, that SS had been screwed over by a landlord, by the city offices, by any number of other people and it wasn't SS's fault. DH was desperate and I felt awful, but I also knew I was right. I did acknowledge that nobody wants to see their kid in that situation, but it's a situation he caused himself and he needs to get out of it himself. Protecting SS from his own bad decisions is actually harming him.

Then I arranged a meeting with several friends of ours in recovery. I'm so impressed with the recovery community--each person we talked to was supportive, kind, shared their experiences, and they all agreed with me that the only way for SS to have a chance was to make him be responsible for himself. DH had to face the truth.

Reluctantly, DH told SS no more, he paid the hotel bill, and would not authorize any future expenses. And SS was out. MIRACULOUSLY SS found an acceptable recovery program with a bed available that very day. Through that recovery program he learned a lot about codependency (described the SS-DH relationship to a T) and since then he hasn't asked DH for anything. We have helped him financially with unexpected expenses such as a car repair bill so he could get to work, but SS didn't ask us to.

SS is clean now, about 8 years. Has a good job and owns his home. He's in a stable relationship (his partner has a child--I love that so much). SS tolerates me, and that's as good as it will get.

I hope he comments in this, or maybe PM him.  He had success implementing what he called the burning platform with his SS, who really shaped up into a fine young man that he later adopted.  Maybe try PMing him if he doesn't see this.