SDs talking about me
My step daughters that we have every other weekend don't react to any punishment and they do whatever they want to because they just don't care about the consequences. Their rooms are stripped of everything,and while they're here they do nothing and have nothing. They accept it and keep up with their shit. Well they don't care because they're only here every other weekend so it's just a day and a night of punishment and it doesn't matter to them.
They have been saying shit about me around town - and with the job that I do, it's very dangerous and it could lead to serious issues. They're saying things that are untrue and just disgusting. I would never do and say such things, yet they say I've done it all and more. I don't know how to stop them. No one's gonna just discredit their stories as lies, it's going to be a big mess, a huge problem for me, and I have no idea what to do.
I just hate them soo much.
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I totally understand and feel
I totally understand and feel for you on that.
My dh's ex has had a smear campaign on dh for years now...and of course it comes back to dh one way or another. We just got married and purchased a home and skid has yet to disgrace us with his presence but I know once he does...all bets are off! He will run right back to Mommy dearest and she will interrogate him etc and he will just let her know everything he sees, hears, etc and of course BM will do her finest work of continuing to slander dh and now I will be her newest target...yipee! FML.
And he will let her know
And he will let her know stuff that he couldn't see or hear because it never happend? I hate lies like that
He is a bm mini for the most
He is a bm mini for the most part, has no problem blowing off dh for his visits and shitting on him and just using him for what he can get. BM has been bad-mouthing dh for years to anyone and everyone...and dh got a taste of it the other day straight from bm's own mother!
I have never felt so violated and vulnerable in my life at just the mere thought of having that brat in my house for visits and then going back to bm who will continue her smear campaign of dh and now ME! fml. I f'n hate skids and bm! (The bad ones, not all)
Violated! Exactly the word
Violated! Exactly the word I'd use to describe how I feel.
I hate my skids, and I don't really care about their BM. Not like she's involved in anything. :sick:
If it's affecting your job,
If it's affecting your job, or could, you should talk to your boss and enlist their help, or to HR.
If they're at your home every other weekend, that says a lot. They're being raised to hate you and in an environment where this is ok.
If they are teens, you might be able to legally go after them for slander. Let them think about their actions in juvie.
My boss talked to me because
My boss talked to me because it's getting around town! She doesn't think I should be helped, she's worried about it, says she doesn't think it's something that I'd do but she can't just ignore it and that I really need to watch myself during this time. :?
They're not being raised to hate me - they're not being raised at all. Their father figured they should be punished about a year ago - and after 14 and 12 years of NOT being disciplined, it'd be hard to make them accept it. Since they're here EOWE, it's impossible.
Their mother doesn't care about DH or me - but she doesn't care about her children either. She doesn't talk to them or spend time with them. When she does, it's something like "Had lunch? Any grades today? Ok bye" or "Fine go out, cya". :sick:
I could be able to go after them for slander, well maybe not SD13 but SD15, if it's proven that it has been lies and it has caused me damage - they' get a money fine, which DH and BM would have to pay.
You should consider
You should consider documenting it and going after SD15, because it'll be on her record (at least for awhile).
It is really too bad that their parents failed to parent them. 12 and 14 is really too late to start parenting. At this point, parenting isn't enough to help them. Intense counseling and juvie could help them.
I am thinking about it,
I am thinking about it, though at this point it can't be proven that she's the one who started it, so I'm not sure how would I go about that. I'll research it and try to go after her.
I agree. Unfortunately their parents aren't even considering counseling. They'd hardly get into juvie, it'd take something way more serious than this + lack of parents involved. Not that their parents are actually involved, but it's documented that they have both parents.
I just wouldn't allow them at
I just wouldn't allow them at the house anymore. If your dh wants to see them he can do so elsewhere. It doesn't exactly sound as if he's spending any "quality time" with them anyway.
He isn't. Since he punished
He isn't. Since he punished them, they refuse to spend time with him.
I know it'd be better if they didn't come - but I couldn't say that to my husband. I thought about it and even though realistically it isn't my fault, I'd feel guilty, and that's not the kind of guilt I could live with.
And even if I never saw them again, anywhere - they're still causing me trouble.
I just want to add-that your
I just want to add-that your job is important. Those kids don't have a right to mess with your financial livelihood.
I also have a position in which I really cant afford a lot of negative talk about me. My ss, my sil and god knows who else in that family have slandered dh and I to death. Much of the rumors have to do with drugs (I am assuming they come from this perspective because they truly are addicts, growers, sellers)-ss has spread around the local high school that my dh grows a whole garage full of huge weed plants and that dh had offered to give him some daily if only he were nice to me. Alas, he could just not force himself to be kind to me so we made him move out instead. My sil has spread about that my dh was buying drugs off the internet and shooting up. Ironcially, I am a substance abuse therapist. It is my specialty and I am involved in the community as well by sitting on two drug court panels. It definitely would harm the integrity of our drug court programs as well as my agency's substance abuse program (which I actually am in charge of) if people in our small community believed I was an actual user myself or that I grew it or sold it or even if my dh was a user.
But so far I have simply ignored it all. I never mention any of these people to my peers in the community although I know that several of them have contact with them through probation and such. I simply act as I don't even know who they are. I lead a clean lifestyle as does my dh-we truly have no worries. We would open our door at anytime to anyone and the worst they might find is a sink full of dirty dishes.
However-that being said-I do not allow these people in my life any longer. Anyone that would screw with my career, my livelihood, my ability to support MY children-is someone that I do not need in my life on any level.
Thank you! I definitely don't
Thank you!
I definitely don't want SDs in my life, nor most of the people in this town (they just want to harm someone), but this is putting my career in danger and it frightens me. It's hard to ignore it when even my boss knows about it.
Speaking of inlaws and
Speaking of inlaws and work-Ive had lots of issues here. As a therapist, I work for our local community mental health agency. My brother in law, back when things were sorta ok, came here for services. Then he quit and started coming back when things were NOT ok. I had to go to my supervisor and tell her I was not comfortable with him coming into our office-he was transferred to one of our satellite offices.
About a year ago, right before sil got a no contact order she texted my dh and said that my mil was going to get me fired from my job. That "what I did" was against the law and she couldn't want to nail my ass. I've never been sure what that meant-and apparently nothing came of it.
Another part of my job is to go to our local ER and see people who present there with mental health agencies. My wicked wicked mil is an er nurse there. I have to go this little ER and see this woman on a regular basis. I will say that she usually goes and hides when I show up-quite literally-she disappears and does not reappear until after I'm gone (sometimes several hours)-but you can believe I watch my back.
I like my job, I like that it provides for me and my family-I will protect my career at all costs at this point.
Ugh - my mother in law is
Ugh - my mother in law is rather influential here and she's always on SDs' side. I'm happy she isn't currently involved in this. It'd be waaay harder for me to deal with.
I LOVE my job, and of course I couldn't live without it - I need to earn the money. So I certainly will protect it, I'm just at a loss HOW to do it. But I will. I don't care about SDs anymore, at all.
Mine do the same thing. It's
Mine do the same thing. It's so bad that I don't even want to leave my house or show my face anywhere. People love to believe juicy gossip. So sorry for you. You are not alone.
Thank you! I feel
Thank you!
I feel uncomfortable talking to people now, because I know what they heard.
Now people are twisting it up even more, and SDs confirm every version that's worse than their own.
Thank you!
Thank you!
If its gotten so bad that
If its gotten so bad that your boss is talking about it to you, maybe you should talk to an attorney. It's worth at least talking to one. You may already be planning to do this. So sorry you have to deal with it.