if you pray for me to have strength please also pray for me some bail money.

^^^^ You got it girl! LOL...

back. I don't know, maybe he snapped last night so tonight i can get a farewell beating tonight. On the bright side, I'm getting better at taking in a deep breath right before he chokes me out.
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Why on earth would you go home to this? Why do you care if the man goes? He needs to go away for good. You need some therapy asap to see why you are ok with getting beat and choked.

Still not sure if we are getting crewed on this one or not...

God I'm so sorry you are still subjecting yourself to that type of abuse. I was in the same situation. My ex would call/text me every 45-60 mins. If i didn't answer back within 5 minutes, he was calling my office phone. If I didn't answer that, he'd call my BOSS. It wasn't "checking" on me, it was checking UP on me to be sure I was at work and not out with anyone like HE always was.

He also would choke me out. He was a wrestler in high school, then special forces in the air force. Very highly trained and skilled. No one knows how many kills he had when he was at war. He liked to choke me out in front of my daughter and look at her and say "you're next" or "couple more seconds and your mom's DEAD". Petrified her. She left me and moved in with her dad shortly after he put me in the hospital and then threatened to kill me and her if I ever pressed charges against him.

No one deserves to live this way. GET OUT NOW PLEASE! It's just gonna get worse. What happens if he holds you just a little longer out of frustration and fucking KILLS you?????? That could easily happen my dear.

Read a couple of your previous blogs to get background.

This man has SEVEN KIDS. He is going to stay with one of his BMs of one of his kids. He gets drunk and blacks out. He verbally (and it sounds like physically) abuses you. He uses you for your house and as a live in babysitter for a couple of his other kids.

You are young. GET AWAY FROM HIM. Get a roommate for the house or sell it or hell, go bankruptcy, it'll clear out in a couple years. Whatever it takes, get a cute little one-bedroom apartment and stay away from him. Start counseling for domestic abuse and self-esteem. Take time to be with yourself and see your value. THEN, when you are ready, you will find a man that is right for you, who will not verbally and/or physically abuse you. Drinking is NOT an excuse ever. "Blacked out" is BS way to try to make excuses.

If he stays a long time with BM out of state, that is a GOOD thing. Gives you time to get your shit together and change the locks on the house for now. Eat ramen and pancakes and lunch meat for a while. It will be worth it. The few "good times" are not really good times, they are times you are with a man that is gracing you with reprieve from beating down your self-respect and self-esteem. That is NOT GOOD TIMES.

Please. Please call a domestic abuse hot line and get help. Talk to a friend or family member. You're so young and have so much ahead of you to be with that POS.

Onceuponatime....please let us know how you are.