Looking back on this time last year, I can see a huge change is SS's behavior. He's been getting worse and worse a little at a time, and over time it's accumulated to make him a lot different than he used to be.

Example: Last weekend when we had him, we took him out to eat. When the waiter asked him what he wanted to drink, SS literally glared at him. He slanted his eyes and glared at the waiter like he hated him. I was outraged. He had done this on another occasion before so it was not the first time and I could see a pattern of behavior emerging. I politely told SS that he needed to tell the waiter what he wanted to drink or the waiter wouldn't know what to bring him. Then, he told him. When the waiter left, I told SS that it was disrespectful not to answer adults when spoken to, and asked him if he understood what that meant. It was clear that he didn't have a good understanding, so BF explained it to him and told him that if he was disrespectful like that he would be punished. We told him that we liked to be happy and have fun, not to be angry and hateful to people. I explained that if you are nice to people, they are more likely to help you out...but if you are mean and hateful all the time, people will not want to help you or give you what you want. We told him that we don't like to waste our life away being mean and nasty all the time because it's much more fun and healthy if you are happy and have fun.

He loosened up quite a bit after that and we had fun for the rest of the day. It's just becoming harder and harder to get SS to come out of his pissed off bitter shell that he gets into when he's with BM. I asked BF what he acts like with BM and he said he's horrible. He turns his back on her when she's talking to him and will just walk away, close doors in her face, snaps at her, tells her "no" when told to do things and he gets away with all of it. That behavior is becoming so ingrained in him that it's getting really difficult to bring the good SS out.