Just need to vent
Today is BF and my 3 year anniversary. I am so lucky to be loved by someone as wonderful and perfect for me as he is. So why do I need to vent? Because on this wonderful day, a day in which I have received lots of good news of career moves and promotions at work; this day on which we celebrate the beginning of our fourth year together, BM is still as relentlessly vindictive and unnecessarily troublesome as ever. So much good has come of this day, and I know I shouldn't let her get me down...but she still does. I'd be lying to say that I don't think about her and what she's done to me and is doing to us and her son on a daily basis. I don't know why it's got me so down right now. Maybe because I had such a good day, and then had to come home to yet another ridiculous email threatening lawsuits, this time over the fake medical bills, and questioning MY integrity. How dare she? How dare that immature, disgusting, self-centered, useless waste of a woman question MY morals and ethics! What NERVE she has to make up fake medical bills to try to steal money from MY home and then question ME?!??
I'm still battling with the urge to smoke. I think about it all the time, every day. AAGH.
- Nymh's blog
- Log in or register to post comments
Comments
I know, I know
I should just not read them. I should just block her. I should change my email address. I shouldn't let her get to me like she does.
I don't want to block her because maybe, just maybe one of these emails MIGHT have something important in them and not just meaningless drivel. She has a bad habit of not even trying to get a hold of BF in cases of emergency due to the fact that he tries his damndest to avoid her at any other time. She figures if he can't return her routine everyday I-need-to-fulfill-my-desire-to-be-a-bitch phone calls then she's not going to go out of her way to inform him of emergencies. She says that if something were to happen to SS, BF would have to find out after the fact because she won't waste her time chasing him down when he doesn't return her emails or phone calls. In these cases, she usually emails me or calls me at work instead of trying to get a hold of him.
I need to do something to take care of this stress. It's really getting to me. I know smoking isn't the answer but it's all I can think about right now. I would just love for one week to not have to be subjected to her idiotic self-serving malice. Just one week of peace and tranquility without emails, phone calls, notes left on my car, messages on my voicemail at work...one week where when I ask my BF how his day is going he doesn't respond with "Well I've been fighting with BM all day" or "Just trying to get BM to quit calling me so I can do some damn work".
He keeps saying that he wishes there were something he could do to disable her from breaking the restraining order constantly. He upholds it flawlessly and she breaks it daily. I keep telling him that the only thing he CAN do is call his lawyer every time she violates it and sue her for contempt of court. He's afraid that if he does that, she'll sue him for contempt too. I told him that the only thing she could even halfway sue him for is the arrears on the child support and she's ALREADY suing him for that, so why not use the restraining order for its purpose and enforce it? As long as he continues to allow her to break it whenever she feels like it or gets bored and lonely she will continue to do so knowing that there will be no repercussions but threatening lawsuits on us if we so much as look at her funny. I am SO SICK of it. He's afraid that she'll find a way to bury him somehow. He's afraid of the court fees. I just wish he would DO IT and show her that no matter how powerful she THINKS she is, he has the LAW on his side and no one will question him because he's in the RIGHT and she is WRONG.
Yeah I really need to vent.
*~So sayeth Nymh~*
Oh, Nymh, I know it's hard.
Oh, Nymh, I know it's hard. Just hang in there. Maybe you should make yourself "appointments" for dealing with her. Read her emails only on Tuesdays. Listen to her voice mails only on Thursdays. Figure out a schedule so that you don't have to deal with it constantly. Set up a Yahoo or Hot Mail account for yourselves that you can forward only her emails to, then only check it one day a week. You won't see them in your regular inbox, so you won't feel pressure to read them as they arrive. And I wouldn't have her calling him at work, either. What worked for us was we had to finally change all of our phone numbers and go unlisted, and we only gave her his cell phone number. It's actually in our court papers that they will not contact each other at work. He set his cell phone up to not ring when she called, ring regular for everyone else. That way, he could send her to voice mail and deal with her on his terms when he was ready to deal with her. It reduced the stress in our life immensely. We still had to deal with her spewing venom, but at least we could decide when to deal with it and it took away her power to intrude whenever she felt like it. That's what it's all about... power. And she has NO power over her that YOU don't give her. So take away her power. As long as you (and by YOU I really mean HE!) are giving her an audience, she'll keep performing her act. At some point, you just have to say to yourself WOW, WHAT A PSYCHO! and then don't think another thought about her. Your life is too important to let her ruin it, Nymh. You only get one, after all. I think you are right to prosecute her, but you can't make that decision for him. How's your restraining order coming?
~ Anne ~
Ladies and gentlemen, take my advice: Pull down your pants and slide on the ice! -M*A*S*H (Sidney Freedman to the OR staff on dealing with stress)
DO BM's ALL READ FROM THE SAME BOOK?!!
Nymph...we are going through the exact same thing. BM emails BF only at work at you can't put a block on emails there. he is afraid not to read them in case it does contain important information about SS. But 99% of the time they don't.....just her constant and wild accusations. But you have to read them just in case. When BF finally told BM, "Enough of your crap..DO NOT EMAIL me anymore! Have your attorney address your issues with my attorney, I have no problem with letting a judge decide. Well she has since used that email as her excuse not to notify BF that she was changing SS daycare, or that ss was ill with a staph infection or that he needed surgery for it or that she had signed him up for basketball (we just found out last week and missed the whole season.) It's funny that she can't email him about any of this or bother to call him but she has emailed him 15 times since receiving this email to say we won't be getting SS for visitation and to just b*tch in general. So she uses this email to pick and choose what information to give us and only gives us info that she deems we should know instead of what the JPA says. We go to court April 24th....our first time going. This is going to run us about $3000. If the judge doesn't do something to stop her from doing this I am going to have a stroke!