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Modification of orders

NVWolff's picture

Submitted by NVWolff on Tue, 06/03/2008 - 8:41am

We are going to try to get a modification of our 8 year old custody orders in the fall. As of now our orders have 43/57 custody and BM has sole decision making. SD was 3 when the orders were set and DH had not spent any overnights with SD since the separation. We have attempted to find a lawyer to get them changed but didn’t push the issue when they said NO over and over again. We’ve had enough with BM being a controlling monger and it’s time, my SD sanity is at stake. Of course we would like a full reversal of the orders but know that’s probably not possible and taking SD from her mother would devastate her. So this is how we would like it modified.

Child to spend alternating weeks with each parent, switching on Wednesdays

Joint decision making, each parent has a say in child’s well being and all decision made will be agreed between the two.

Each parent will have access to child’s records, both medical and education.

If there is anybody who has had success modifying orders or has any suggestions can you please offer any advice. I am going to try and find a lawyer that will take our case. We are going to try to modify without going to court but I doubt that is even an option.

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StepG's picture

Submitted by StepG on Tue, 06/03/2008 - 10:01am

except we have overnights with my SS7 almost 8. We get him every Wed night and every other weekend. SS was 2 when H and the ex divorced. We are at BM mercy any additional time that we may get. She is threatened by H that SS will love him more. She degrates H to ss and makes ss feel gulity for coming during the times he is supposed to. We have filed petition to modify the custody. H and the ex already have joint decisions and I believe that is pretty standard these days. We are requesting week at a time switching on Friday's after school. We belive ss sanity and well being is at stake here as well. SS is so good when with us i.e. he is loving, courteous, helpful, obeys, cheery he is all around a great child with us. BM has even seen how he is with us and cannot believe that is her son. Now when ss is with BM I cannot bear to be around him. He is hateful, rude, lazy, smart alec, and treats me and his dad like CRAP in front of BM but as soon as BM is out of sight it is all hugs kisses and I have missed you dad and missed you (me). If you feel that BM is hindering a relationship btw your SD and you H then you need to keep a DAILY documentation of all that goes on, i.e. your SD attitude and activities with yall her demeaner towards yall, keep record of times you call her at her BM's and what happened on the call how did she act was the conversation monitered etc, record things she tells you about BM's house that you find to be inappropriate, I mean record everything BM's attitude to you and the way she treats you SD about yall. Record it all good and bad from both sides. I am sure there are lawyers that will take your case but be sure it is a lawyer who does this type of law family, custody etc. What we were told by our lawyer is that there had to be a material change in risk in the childs situation to get a modification. In our case when H and ex split child was 2 and H had issues that were caused by the bad marriage. Now ss is almost 8 father has resolved those issues over 4 years ago. That is the start for change in risk for us in addition our ss is on ADD medication that the mother does not give to him regularly as prescribed.SS had missed 17 days of school this past year and was late 11 times due to BM placing him in irresponsible child care cause she was trying to get out cheap on paying that. BM has a sometimes volitile relationship that ss witnesses. But the biggest thing we are pushing is the BM intereferes with ss relationship with his dad by cussing his dad in front of him, telling ss bad things about his dad, making ss feel guilty for leaving her to come see us on our visitation time, when H calls to talk to ss BM will answer and yell at SS 'HERE HERE'S YOUR DADDY" and does it in a tone that ss knows BM is not happy that H has called to talk to ss and wants SS to treat his dad the way she does. Our BM has more hate in her heart for H than she has love in her heart for her son. You can private message me if you want to talk further. Your BM sounds like ours.