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Don't you hate it when the Skids bitch to the Bio when you tell them something?!?!?

NotsoHappyNewlywed's picture

Submitted by NotsoHappyNewlywed on Tue, 09/08/2009 - 12:56pm

So last post I stated that I was looking forward to a Skid free Labor Day. Well...I was wrong. SS17 decided that he didn't feel like going to visit his BM and instead wanted to stay home. OK, I was annoyed for about 5 seconds. He's 17 so it's not like I need to do anything for him and besides he babysits my BS11 when I need him to so.... whatever.
Sunday afternoon, he is BLARING his Ipod in his room. I wouldn't mind except that the music is all the DIRTY versions of every hip hop artist known to man & my son was in the room with him.
Eff, this Suck that, etc....So I walk in and tell him to take that music off or put on head phones I don't want to hear that crap.
Of course the first thing out of his mouth is "Well so and so listens to it too." (He was referring to my son.) I said "I can guarantee you that if he is listening to this crap it's w/o my knowledge.
He of course gets upset and says "So I can't listen to music?" Again, I said "You can do whatever you want except I don't want to hear it, so get your headphones."
Five minutes later I hear his dad explaining to him "Yeah but your music has too many curses you know she doesn't like that."
I immediately knew that he was bitching to his dad about what I had said. OMG I was so LIVID!!
I didn't get a chance to tell him anything but I did say in a loud voice as I was speaking to my older Bio's. "My house my rules! If somebody doesn't like them they know where they can go!!!"
Uuugghhhh... I was pretty peeved!

Comments

DoingItAgain's picture

Submitted by DoingItAgain on Tue, 09/08/2009 - 1:06pm

What I find bothersome is that your DH said, "...you know she doesn't like that." which makes YOU the bad guy. It should be "WE don't allow that kind of vulgarity in this house."

If I felt I was supported by my spouse and I wouldn't be made out to be the bad guy, go ahead kid, bitch away! He won't get anywhere! But that is often not the case.

RustyHalo's picture

Submitted by RustyHalo on Tue, 09/08/2009 - 1:14pm

I don't think you were being unreasonable at all. If you have a stereo louder that gets louder than his, I would put on some of my favorite "clean" country music and blare it louder than his!!

This past weekend we were camping with the skids and tons of other people. It was supposed to BM's weekend, but she couldn't be bothered with skids while boating with friends. Anyway, on Saturday my friends called from a nearby horse camp and invited us down. We asked the skids if they wanted to go and they said no because they were going fishing with a group of friends. (skids are 8 and 9) A couple of adults were going with them fishing as well. Okay, so we leave and we're gone about an hour. When I return I notice I had missed a couple calls from the BM on my cell phone. The BM NEVER calls my phone! I knew something was up, so I told the kids that they might want to call their mom because she called my phone and I missed it. (FH had left his cell phone with the skids while we went to the horse camp.) The skids tell me that they did not get to go fishing because not everybody had a fishing pole, so nobody got to go fishing and the girls called their BM "just to talk to her" and their mom was trying to call us to find out when we were coming back to camp. We were gone about an hour total!! I asked the skids if they told their mom that they were invited to go to the horse camp, but they wanted to go fishing and of course they said that they had not told her that. So the only thing BM is told is that we "left" the skids with nothing to do without even telling them where we were going or inviting them to go with us! I had drank a few drinks by that point and I'm sure BM was trashed by that point, so it's probably a good thing that she didn't get ahold of me. Also, BM should know better and that in all the times the skids are with us, she has never had one complaint with the way the skids are taken care of. We had 19 people in our "cul-de-sac" campsight. 9 of which were adults who we camp with every year. Oh well, even though BM never did speak to us, she must have forgotten the entire incident, because she never brought it up to us. Happy Labor Day for us!!

NotsoHappyNewlywed's picture

Submitted by NotsoHappyNewlywed on Tue, 09/08/2009 - 1:35pm

Oh yes, I always look like the bad guy. I don't particularly care. Yesterday as SS17 was out at the mall with BS11 I was looking thru his binder. I saw he had 2 HW assignments. None of which were done.
So when he gets home I ask "Hey, did you do your essay?" He looks at me and shows me a piece of paper that had been cut in half. The front of the paper stated the assignment that had to be done. The back had a scribble that looked like a pre-schooler had done it.
Basically the assignment was "Where do you see yourself in 10 years?" I said to him "What's this?" (I'm doing all of this in front of DH)
He says "Oh we just had to do a WEB, we don't have to do the essay anymore." I just looked at his dad. I showed his dad the HW and told him "Does this look like the HW of an 11th grader?"
Of course I end up looking like the evil SM but I honestly don't give a hoot anymore.
He drew a circle and had arrows pointing out stating his goals. It was literally the work of a 5 year old. But whatever...As long as MY son hands in typed reports in plastic sleeves and shows his work I don't care anymore what this boy does. He clearly needs to watch that Obama speech that everyone is making such a stink about. He might learn something.

Austen's picture

Submitted by Austen on Tue, 09/08/2009 - 1:36pm

Sometimes my DH makes "excuses" to the kids as to the reason I was upset or that I corrected them (usually for running around upstairs, putting dirty hands on newly painted walls, eating with their mouths open, leaving shoes on while tracking dirt through just-cleaned floors) -- typical "mom" complaints, to my mind, and typical "kid" things to do too, things they have to be told not to do or won't have a clue that they shouldn't.

He'll say: "Well, she worked a long day," whatever. Or he'll give me a look that says lay off. It really irks me.

But what bothers me even more is when the skids once in a while "tell on me" to Dad -- and DH comes back and says something to me about being sharp with them or whatever. This is so not OK -- it undermines me, and makes them think they have power over me (which, really, demonstrates that they do. They're getting me "in trouble" with my husband.)

It's like I'm being apologized for, which sounds like what your DH was doing.

I have no good advice. When I bring this up with DH, I just get the response that often I'm too sharp with the kids. We, as stepparents, seem never to be allowed a bad day. I don't yell, but my skids' parents can yell at the kids anytime and not worry about someone looking over their shoulders to say whether they made the right call.

Forgive me for venting on your post, rather than giving sound advice. This just happened to me yesterday. It's a hard life some days. Particularly when the boy can't find his iPod next time he comes over ...