Does anyone know if one parent has legal and physical custody, whether or not they need to contact/get permission from the other parent in order to remove the child from the country?

It's been a while since I logged on, mostly because a lot of things have been happening in the last few months that I haven't had time to vent on here. Exams, completing my masters, me and DH are in marriage counseling, my MIL, second pregnancy, etc.

But occasionally I still do a short check on BM, even though she and SS are not in our lives at all and I found out she's in the UK and will be there for the year. They are in contact with MIL who has not told us about this move (which happened much earlier this year) and although I personally think, since DH is not in SS's life, he should have no say, but it does make me wonder about the legalities of it. When BM moved out of state while she was pregnant, DH had no legal say since paternity wasn't established. When I got a passport for BD though, DH had to sign too. I wonder if it's different for children of not-together couples.

The other thing is, I don't know if BM took SS with her, or if she left him with GBM. The main roadblock of why DH hasn't been involved is because BM is pretty insane (getting her exbf to sneak into our apartment, nails in tires, destroying her kitchen because DH said something she didn't like, requiring he live with her for 2 weeks after the birth if he wanted to bond with SS or else she wasn't going to allow him to see him--this was before legal paternity was established so she could ask for whatever she wanted, then requiring that she be the only other person around if he wants to see him, etc.) and at the advice of his therapist to not give in to her terrorism, he chose to have no contact until SS wants to or thing cool down (other than pay child support which he was the one who pursued) but I think if she is out of the country, maybe there's a chance he could start establishing a relationship with the kid, who is 5 now.

BM is diagnosed BPD (she was going to therapy for it) and his therapist said it would only be a matter of time until the kid was too old and starting to develop his own independence that she won't be able to handle it and go off chasing her next high, which is apparently somewhere in Europe.

Also, I think our relationship with MIL is going to break down at this point, she said she was going to visit Europe this year because her friend offered her a place to stay which is probably a lie now that I think about it. And because she stopped playing into her games and have limited our contact with her.

I haven't brought this idea up with DH but when I gave him the information that BM is in Europe (not knowing, and still do not know, whether or not she took SS with her) he seemed unconcerned. I don't know if I should maybe push him a little to possibly consider visiting SS if he's with GBM. There are no and have never been visitation orders. Or if that's just too disruptive to SS's life. I know our relationship is a bit rocky right now which is why we're in therapy, but our therapist is really good and might be able to help us navigate through any problems that might come up.

Or if I should just keep my big fat nose out of this whole business. I'm currently pregnant with our second and that's part of why DH, with both his and our therapist's advice to minimize contact with MIL because she's also crazy and they don't want to stress me out (we lost one last year and that was pretty rough.)

And BIL is also in contact with BM and SS, and he WORKS with DH, I don't know why he didn't tell DH either. I don't know this whole family thing is messed up.

PS. Also, if SS isn't with BM but with GBM for this year, I don't know if normally the father ends up taking custody because the mother isn't there, but I think no judge would allow it because he doesn't know us and it would be scary for SS to make a big move across the country so I don't even think we'd entertain the idea of trying to get custody.

But I don't know if this is the right mentality. =/