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I need your opinion (question at the end ;) )

not THAT happy's picture

Submitted by not THAT happy on Wed, 05/29/2013 - 12:26pm

After I record these past few months (I feel I need to recap from last time)

1. Summer vacation last year? Hell in heaven! Hated it, SD was a brat as always. family in law made it even worse. I... I can't even stand the memories, so let's skip this

2. I finally erased BIL and his wife from FB. I didn't do it, DH did when he realized how upset I was because they decided to send happy bday wishes to our DS through my SIL's facebook. I know, I get too hung up on that damned thing. Anyway, after I deleted them they blocked me... so there you go. no more drama ... or so I thought.

3. Wife's BIL has been trying to avoid me in every single situation where family could get together. I really don't care, it just seems weird.

4. Oh! before I forget, MIL invited BM over Christmas dinner while I was there... and yes, she even ate my dinner while I was upstairs because it'd be weird to be the two of us together ...right? and it was christmas! and she missed her daughter dearly (and she did picked her up a couple of times smelling like rotten alcohol but who cares)

5. We moved out due work changes, even more far (now it's not an 8 hour drive but more of a 4 day drive). She wasn't allowed to come over our house during summer ...so it hasn't really changed a lot in that area.

6. Speaking of summer... here it goes my question:

BIL and wife want to take SD to a two month vacation along with their children. He didn't ask for any money to cover SD expenses or anything since they're being paid by my MIL as a bday gift (or something like that)

Question!

Do we have to pay CS for those two months? There's no court agreement and everything is based on ... on nothing really but common sense (DH's). Agreement right now is 50/50 plus "extras" covered by DH.

DH thinks we should pay it anyway, but I don't think that's fair, I'd rather send the money to BIL so she can spend it as she pleases but then her BM wouldn't be sending her half... and that itches a little bit.

I finally disengaged from all the BM/SD issues and I don't really have an opinion on this and DH doesn't even know my thoughts on it, but I just wanted to see if I'm being a bit too bad of a person for thinking that BM shouldn't receive CS those two months.

Comments

12yrstepmonster's picture

Submitted by 12yrstepmonster on Wed, 05/29/2013 - 12:42pm

When we had the skids for more than 7 consecutive days, BM was to abate support 50%. She still has "fixed" expenses even when the are gone.

I would say fair would be at least 50% unless you argue the expense wife and BIL.

misSTEP's picture

Submitted by misSTEP on Wed, 05/29/2013 - 2:02pm

In a typical agreement where CS is ordered by the courts, the NCP still has to pay CS even if the children are on extended visits.

Since there is no agreement, anything goes, I guess. I can see your DH's point of just wanting to pay it. It would probably make things more stressful if you didn't depending on how cray cray your BM is.