So what should I be called?
I have a ss7 and ss8 who I have been living with and full time mothering for over 3 years. Their BM left them for about a year when they were 2 and 3. They live with BF and I full time. She used to see them every other Saturday 8am - Sunday 6pm. That's 4 days and 2 nights in a month. Most times she would get a babsitter or her mother to watch them when it was her time for visits. For the past 6 months due to some 'issues' on her end she has supervised visits on first and third Sundays for 3 hours. So total of 6 hours each month. When I came into the picture with the boys, they referred to their BM by her first name. I didn't think to much of it because she wasn't around. Took about 7 months after I moved in with the boys that BM started to take them on her regular visits. By then, the boys had asked if they could call me Mom. And BF said that was fine. So they were calling me Mom and still do. But BM has made it clear to them, to BF and me that she does NOT want them calling me Mom. I don't care about that part. What I'm having a hard time with is my ss7 is calling both of us Mom. So he kept telling his teacher the other day Mom this, Mom that, Mom, Mom, Mom. So the teacher wrote to me about the issue at hand thinking he was referring to his BM because he told teacher he will call BM Mom. But he was referring to me. So confusing. I asked ss7 what he would like to call me? And he said that he wants to call us both Mom. And I created a sentence to him where he would be talking about BM and me but calling us both Mom. He understood how that would be confusing so then he said how about Mom 1 and Mom 2.
I told him this would be fine. I'm just curious what other SM's are being called by their skids.
And in all honesty I like to be called Mom. I am their Mom, I take care of them daily, make sure they have food, clothes, good hygiene, homework, sports, help them when they are sick, take them to doctor, dentist, therapy, etc. You name it I do it. So why shouldn't I be called Mom?
But if it makes things easier for my SS's to call me something different then I should be the adult and accept that. So any suggestions would be appreciated.
Thank you
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My kids usually call their
My kids usually call their SPs by their first names, but they went through stages when they were younger of calling DH Mod (my other dad) and SM Moma (My other ma, pronounced Moe-mah)
SD calls me by my first name and I'm fine with that. She could call me twinkie if she wanted, but I don't want her calling me mom. That's only because I don't want anyone to mistakenly think I actually AM her mother.
~shudder~
I always called my step dad
I always called my step dad by his name, but Ive always refered to him and my mom as "My Parents" becuase they are the ones that did everything for me. My dad is dad, but sometimes I call him by his given name. My mom has always called her step dad "Dad" because her BD was hardly in the picture, and my GRANDPA(My moms SDad)was the one who raised her. I think it just depends on the situation. My aunts have never called my grandma MOM, but they were older when my grama and grandpa got married. My Step brother has ALWAYS called my mom, and his mom "Mom". My brother has always called my step dad "Dad" and his dad, by his given name. I think it ultimatly depends on the situation, and how the kids feel about you. And BM can get mad all she wants, but the kids are going to call you, what they wanna call you, weither it be XYZ or mom. I've got alot of other step stories about my extended family,and what everyone calls everyone, if you wanna hear them sometime.
I know how you feel. I am a
I know how you feel. I am a "mother" in every aspect but I am not called Mom nor do I want to make SS8 and SS10 do so. They call me by my first name as do I call my stepmother. The thing is I call my stepmother by her first name because she is my father's wife. She is not my mother at all. In the case of my stepsons, I am a full time parent.
As a result, the boys refer to me as "mom" in the "parents" context and refer to me personally by my first name. I have a long first name so it is kind of frustrating but I am getting over it.
Is there a nickname for Stepmom besides "Step"?
"Those who deny freedom to others deserve it not for themselves." ~ Abraham Lincoln
The whole 'step' portion of
The whole 'step' portion of it bothers me. At least for my situation. I'm not really step mom because I;m there for my SS's everyday. They love with us.
You guys have given me good input and I appreciate that. I have left it up to the boys and their BF to call me as they want and it continues to be Mom. So I guess I should feel good with that.
SD9 calls me by my first
SD9 calls me by my first name, which is okay with me. I don't feel like her mother and I don't know that I'd be comfortable being called anything but my name at this point.
"There are two things over which you have complete dominion, authority, and control over - your mind and your mouth".