I have never had any kids and I've been in a relationship and engaged for the past 9 months with the love of my life and his 2 kids. He's been recently divorced for 3 years and his exwife got married to one of their close friends a year after their divorce. So, the kids have known the exwifes husband for years before and they love and respect him, but since I've come along I have heard nothing but grief about me being in the picture. The 15 year old with her list wasn't happy about... We moved to fast, Dad moved me in too fast, she's alergic to my cats, she doesn't like change, we redid the bathroom, but when we redid her room she was happy than ever! The 9 year old has ADHD and if that's not difficult enough...I'm still reading about it so I can understand and learn how to deal with it. I went from being single for 9 years to being thrown into this wirlwind romance and 2 kids. I thought I was up for this...I've had so much experience with my friends kids and never had any problems. We have the kids every other weekend and every other Sunday and when his ex finds out he took time off to be with me, we get the kids. I love his children they are good kids, but I don't know what more I can do to be accepted. I take 15 yr old shopping, I relate to her and her friends and have been coined the cool soon to be step mom until I had a few glasses of wine and now she's afraid of me and her Dad. She has literally delegated our social life and it has put a wedge btwn myself and my fiance. My fiance says alot of her behavior comes from her Mothers manipulation...and that's a whole new dinamic! Help! Anybody with advice to a new soon to be step mom...they are taking control and I dont know how to take it back without being so angry. They dont clean up after themselves, they refuse to do chores and we're the adults.