This is a long story.
So I have SD10 living full time with my SO and my 4 month old. She is her BM in a smaller body. Pure, trashy, evil... That's not really what this post is about though, just saying what I already have FULL TIME. Thankfully BM1 does not run our life, SO hates her so we both laugh at her attempt to cause drama. We have full legal, custodial rights so she can't really do anything to us.
Ok, so I met my SO last year March. We had both been going through divorce/separation and really just took comfort in each other company. Well, I got put on some anti-biotics, enter DD, pregnant by August. By my own fault I knew almost nothing of BM2 mother of SS4 and SD2 until AFTER I was already pregnant and my boat was pretty much tied to his. Come to find out his wife, yes still currently his wife, had left him with no reason and took his two kids to another state. She broke all contact with him, left him heartbroken, and he still has not seen his kids for 19 months now. Well, she had his one and only son, which by his own admission is his favorite child. And he never tried to get his kids back because he said he needed A LOT of money for a lawyer. Well, we have money but she conveniently started talking to him about a month ago. This is probably about the 3 time she has done this. My theory is when she gets lonely she gets in touch for a few weeks. So again she is "trying to work with him". So now he "doesn't want to get her in trouble" so he is not trying to get any legal arrangement. She is supposedly bringing the kids to visit next month for a day. Oh, did I mention she has no idea I even exist or that he has another child.
I already know he still has feelings for her. And I know that he is not nearly attached to me. And I know that his son is more important than all his girls combined. He even said he only wanted me to have a boy but he still wouldn't be any kind of substitute for his first son. And now that he's talking to ex she is the most wonderful being on the planet. They txt all the time and talk on the phone, but I need not be worried because its all for the kids of course. On one hand I'm glad because I know she won't be bringing the kids very often if she does at all. And with my experiences with SD10 I can't be so sorry about that. On the other hand I want him to sick it to the golden uterus and get over the evil witch already. I think she enjoys how much affect she has on him and I'm terrified for when she comes back in the picture to see what will happen to me and my baby. She is the most manipulative person. And I don't want my life run by her any more than it is. He is paying everything in child support, we aren't able to pay rent and she's getting her hair and nails done, dressed to the nines and going on trips and going to football games.
SO and I have had the must ridiculous fights lately. He says I pick then (maybe because I'm feeling VERY unimportant) and I feel like he acts like an ass after talking to golden uterus. Plus, I'm so nervous about 2 more skids. And with how SD10 is with my DD4 months I'm worried for her too. Plus, how is golden uterus going to act when she find out about me. Then pile on top of all that stress, my SO and I constantly fighting.
I'm not sure what the point of this post is, any advice I would love, getting my fears/stresses out there and venting is such a weight lifted off me, and knowing I have support through my stalkers.