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Lying husband

NEM's picture

Submitted by NEM on Sat, 04/03/2021 - 4:43am

After 17 years I have a really good relationship now with my step son I don't understand why my husband feels the need to lie to him about me. Yesterday my husband asked me what we were doing for the day he had things to do around the house so I said I'd spend the day studying for my assignment ok we had a plan. Now a little while later he decided to text stepson saying he partner & baby could come swimming if they wanted, he then comes inside to tell me there coming over soon & son will help him outside then swim I asked him why would he do that when we already said I was studying  he got shitty made it my fault I should have told him how long I was gonna be. Long story short he texted him back saying pool wasn't ready nothing about me studying he lied to him I don't understand why & I asked him what did he tell him & he lied straight to my face saying he told step son I was studying I'm now wondering what else does he lie about

Comments

tog redux's picture

Submitted by tog redux on Sat, 04/03/2021 - 5:49am

I guess I'm a little confused why it was a big deal for his son, partner and baby to come swimming while you are studying?

NEM's picture

Submitted by NEM on Sun, 04/04/2021 - 6:09pm

My study area is in my kitchen main area in my house, am I then supposed to leave my daughter in- law & grandbaby on there own while them two work outside I feel thats rude & honesty how could I study with the baby there I'd want to spend time with her lol

Cover1W's picture

Submitted by Cover1W on Sat, 04/03/2021 - 11:34am

Maybe the study area is the living room? In that case people coming over would be an issue.

And I'd be mad if I wasn't consulted first. "Hey I'd like to invite people over for a swim later. When do you think you'll be done studying?"

tog redux's picture

Submitted by tog redux on Sat, 04/03/2021 - 11:51am

Yeah, that doesn't bother me. As long as I'm informed before they show up and not expected to do anything. DH has friends over last minute, I say hello and go do my own thing. 

yougotthis's picture

Submitted by yougotthis on Sat, 04/03/2021 - 12:39pm

I could see this an as issue if then she feels bad / guilty for not hanging out with them because she's busy studying. Unless he told them you can come over but NEM has to study so won't be able to visit. I often feel bad when my husband's buddies come by and their wife's are with them and I'm busy inside cleaning and looking a hot mess so don't wanna go say hi but then feel like I prolly looked like a snob for not. 

Thefatherismyfamily's picture

Submitted by Thefatherismyfamily on Sat, 04/03/2021 - 12:43pm

It bothered you that he did not just say "My wife needs the house to be quiet because she is studying today." That makes sense to me OP. I appreciate honesty too. DHs stepdad sometimes says no to having grandkids at his and  MILs house because frankly, he's tired and doesn't want to deal with grandkids running around the house. That type of honesty shows the stepchild that bioparent and stepparent are on the same page and that stepparent actually has a say in decisions. I understand your point. Step kid can't just say oh I have a right to enjoy my dads house whenever I want. I actually have to also go through stepmom. 

NEM's picture

Submitted by NEM on Sun, 04/04/2021 - 6:23pm

Yes exactly I don't believe if he told ss he stuffed up & forgot I was studying all day we'd see them 2 days later for Easter he would of been upset, so I don't understand why lie to him what is he worried about.