Counseling
Thank you everyone who gave me advice on my first blog. I brought up marriage counseling to my husband but he said he doesn't need counseling and I am overreacting.
I guess he has been a little more helpful with ours but not much.
- Nekkia32's blog
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Go yourself
I got a similar reaction from my DH. So, I went .myself. It was life-changing in a good way. I can truthfully say it helped 7 people: me, DH and the 5 kids. None of them needed to go thru another divorce and thats where it was headed. So, go yourself for tbe kids' sake, if nothing else. Good luck.
In other words, he dismissed your concerns.
In other words, he dismissed your concerns. He may not think he needs counseling, but the two of you as a couple could use some outside help. Since he won't go, finds some therapy for yourself. A counseler may be able to give you insight and ways to cope. In the meantime, keep asking for what you need and start standing up for yourself. When he makes inapropriate comments in public, call him out on it.
I asked in your last blog - is his behavior worse when he drinks? I was wondering if that might not be part of the problem.
He acts the same even when he
He acts the same even when he's not drinking. It might be slightly worse, but not much.
At least that is not the problem.
At least that is not the problem, which is good. Try therapy for yourself and see if that helps.
Fine, agree with him. HE
Fine, agree with him. HE doesn't need counseling but you do. Will he support you and go do this for you?
For some reason ego is a big thing with men and counseling. Just say whatever to get him there and working together to save your marriage.
Yes, men will absolutely
Yes, men will absolutely avoid counselling at all costs, when in reality if you're at the point where you need counselling, you should've already been there.
Even if he won't go, do yourself a favour and go alone. CBT has really helped me handle conflict. I am able to listen better and think more carefully before responding. If he notices a change in your behaviour, he may also start making some changes. (I'm not saying you need to change your behaviour, but in my case I did).
I guarantee you you're not overreacting. You're dealing with a lot of stress and change and a good therapist can help you validate your feelings.
I'm not sure where you live but don't let finances stop you from going. It can be covered by insurance, but if you don't have that many therapists use a sliding scale where they adjust their fees depending on clients' income. Some communities also offer free counselling clinics. Please explore your options and start getting better.