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Step parent disaster

Nbk0rj5's picture

Submitted by Nbk0rj5 on Sun, 03/29/2020 - 9:25pm

Hi i am new hear. I found this page when looking on google for advice articles. I need advice/thoughts. I am dating the love of my life. We should of been together years ago but let's just say it wasnt the right time. We finally come together and he finds out 3 months before he got a stripper legit stripper pregnant. I accept it I have a child of my own and I love him. Thinking I will be an amazing step mom. Well... this little boy is now 2 and he is beyond a terror. The mother lost custody when he was 1 but the damage was done. He is extremely delayed, and cries all dam day. He drives me off the wall. Nobody will watch him because of it so we dont even get a break. The little boy is not talking yet. He is hitting, throwing things, yelling all the time. He was neglected from food from his mother so most times its about food. Nothing seems to make him happy. This is really starting to put a strain on my mental health and my relationship. My boyfriend has no other children so he dosnt do anything to teach him discipline and I am stern. It's like he is the mom and I'm the stern dad. I feel like this child is going to hate me when I'm doing nothing but the normal parenting things. I'm the only one who says no and he takes seriously. Anyone have any advice please. I need an outlet. 

Comments

anaxnicole's picture

Submitted by anaxnicole on Sun, 03/29/2020 - 10:51pm

I understand how frustrating it can be to have a child that's so developmentally delayed, but honestly, if you're seriously not going to leave, you need to consult a doctor on how you can help this child and steps you can take to putting him on the right track. I'd say read to him, talk to him, play with him, just like you would to a 12-month-old who is still learning all of these things. You need to stress the importance to your SO of making sure this baby is raised right. If he refuses to listen to you, then maybe take a step back and really, truly ask yourself if you're okay with this. The most repeated advice I see on here is to never care more about skids than the bio-parents do. It always ends in heartache. Keep us updated, I hope everything works out though! Best of luck!

Kes's picture

Submitted by Kes on Mon, 03/30/2020 - 2:21am

This child has obviously suffered neglect if not abuse from his bio mother and needs specialist help.  You shouldn't be expected to solve his problems yourself. 

tog redux's picture

Submitted by tog redux on Mon, 03/30/2020 - 10:59am

The child definitely should be evaluated for drug exposure in utero and other developmental issues. But your BF doesn't sound like much of a parent, either - perhaps not withholding food, but also not parenting the child in an effective manner and not getting the help he needs.

Are you prepared to take on this child for the rest of your life? Sounds like your BF is more than happy to let you be the parent.