My SD was PAS'ed to the maximum by her biofather for years getting really bad at age 17. SD was promised EVERYTHING by her mostly absent biofather for 4 years including having her rowdy girlfriend come down and live with them, to BMW convertible sports car, laptop computer, live in "country club" home in sunny FL, free access to alchohol, no rules, basically everything he could think of that was expensive, etc. After 4 years of promising everything possible, my SD refused to go to school and was failing her classes demanding to move, and moved out in a huge rage saying she "hated" living with her biomother and me. It was just extreme PAS and SD would not listen to us and walked out on her entire life in VA to move to FL to live with her biofather who is; single, lonely, no girlfriends or friends, just a really lonely fast talk'n type person. Oh well.

Her mother and I have tried to maintain contact however SD rarely responds and after much trouble SD did manage to graduate from HS. Most biofather promises of course did not come true however at 19 SD did get a used car and is allowed to be very lazy only working part time. We have gone down to visit twice and her life is just a weird mix of manipulations from her biofather and she has no direction in life now, except biofather's expectation is that she build her life in FL only and believe that her mother and I don't care. Not true of course however the severe PAS damage has really been done now for sure. SD is now 19, lives with a 25 yo boyfriend mostly, and works as a waitress at Hooters. Great!?

Here's the question. Should we be running down to FL from VA to periodically see SD even though she makes no effort to speak with us? Should we be calling her weekly even though she never returns our calls? So far my wife only gets SD to respond to cell text messages and that's about it. Some say that running down there just plays into the PAS enabling her further to stay on this track, and that we should just continue to be reassuring her that we love her and that we would like to help with college and are ready anytime to have her come up for a visit, and to just stop there. How is it best to handle this type of PAS situation?? This is the only child we raised and we never ever expected this to happen. It's been 2 1/2 years now and SD is still very much under the control of her extreme PAS situation. Any ideas? Thank you all.