Thank you for your reply. I have honestly said these very words to him. So because in the past I have always been accessible to him and their daughter always, I am always the one who takes care of her, her care taking needs, bathing, clothing 3 meals a day and 2 snacks, when she is sick I nurse her back to health. As all of this has taken place over the past few years that we have been married, the ex has never asked me about their daughter, her health, anything, she would call him to ask him and he knew nothing because he was and is never there. So he has no other way to provide care for her even if I am not really here or well taking on this responsibility. Let me add, we are a military family, but he is not deployed anywhere, but does work hectic and crazy hours!

Thank you Anon2009 for your reply. I have tried to tell my husband to take her to court for his proper visitation so she would have to stick with the court order or else, but again he acts as if he is scared of her!!! We have no court ordered visitation, its really all at her hands, so this is why I say she uses their child as a tool to yet control him and now try to control our marriage and family. All the other kids tell us that after 2 or 3 days most when she coomes, they are all ready for her to go home because she is that BADDDDD! But my DH hears everything we have told him, I have told him and shown him but yet he is still blinded by his princess daughter! No family near us, he has lost both his parents and so all he has is my family whom also dont want to be bothered by the child because my DH don't discipline her or correct her when in the presence of others! And the communication between my DH and his ex is only to be done at our hom by land line phone, she is to not have our cell numbers because she use to call my DH and only talk about her and him and the past, and what she wants with him, never about their daughter, so I told him NO, change number, she can only call the house phone. So now she has the child to call our home and then ask to speak to him, and he only talks to her in front of me, because I will correct the convo. Its just that bad Honestly, horrible. Let me note, I am 8 years older than the ex. I am a RN and Have a few degrees but aren't able to use them due to my illnesses, but I know she is a very jealous and vindictive person. She doesnt work or have any college degrees and education, never graduated from HS. I taught my SD how to tie her shoes, learn her multiplications from 0-15's and the mother told my DH that she was to young to learn that and for me to step back with helping her.

I did that during her spring break, she came down for a week at the end of march, while our kids were still in school and thier break started a week after hers. I even took her all the way back home with the rest of the kids to be with their mom and their father. My SS acted a plum darn fool during the whole trip home and when I met to drop her off to her mom, the mother stayed in her care on the phone, popped her care trunk as to let me know to drop her bags in the trunk myself, and then refused to talk to me about the well being of her daughter or how she was while she was with us because I was the only one who took care of her, she ignored me until I told her you need to get her bags and put them in your car so I can drop off the remainder of the kids! (Mind you I drove 12 hours by myself to not only take her child but mines and my SS as well. She didnt even say think you or nothing. and My SD didnt even say good bye to me or wanted to give me a hug or anything. That hurt me so much so I had already told my husband that whenever she does come again, she will need day care or camp to provide for her. Well he cant afford it because while the Ex begs for more money for CS he just gave it to her and in return bought her a brand new Car, but has no job? lol Real crazy as well as true drama both my DH and his ex (Mind you I have a dog, waste of a ex husband , but we do work together and get a long for the sake of our own kids, and he even gets along with my husband.