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So after badmouthing DH on Thursday BM of course has SS call DH

mrsparks's picture

on Friday, Oh around 4p.m. which is the time DH normally texts BM to see what time to pick SS up.
So she can be sure she's getting a babysitter for the weekend..
We pick SS up and he is visibly shaken and crying after BM shoves him off to DH which almost never happens..He is always beaming and so happy to see us when we pick him up- It appeared that maybe she said something to him, that set him off because he broke out crying several more times during the next few hours..
We have no way to tell of course because SS can't communicate well enough to tell us what happened or what was said.. so.. we can only speculate- He acted like he was scared of both DH & I

I decided to turn the tables a little bit this time and told DH to text BM on Sat. morning to tell her that we are going to keep SS until Monday evening- This way "WE" are in control and don't have to bend over while she tells us, how long we're going to keep him, because I was sure that the "I'm gonna need you to keep him 'til Monday" text would be coming on Sunday- I beat her to the punch and that takes some of her control away, which should confuse her..

I found that I actually didn't mind so much that we're going to keep him when it was my suggestion instead of her demanding it the day before he is to come home.

Maybe I'll force the issue even more by having DH relay to her that we will be dropping him off by 8p.m. on Monday and that she needs to be at the suggested location at that time-

She's going to have to learn that once everything is court ordered, I'm going to hold her to every word in the order- She has had her way with DH for way too long, it's Smom's turn now..

Comments

Rags's picture

IMHO.

Sparky,

"She's going to have to learn that once everything is court ordered, I'm going to hold her to every word in the order- She has had her way with DH for way too long, it's Smom's turn now.."

Is bang on the best way to deal with the blended family opposition when there is a Judgement in place. I would also suggest that you research the Supplemental Guidelines that are in effect in the county of Jurisdiction where the Family Court that or deres your Skids Custody/Visitation/Support order.

In our case the Sperms have periodically tried to manipulate the Judgement in areas that are not specifically defined by the Judge. The Supplemental Guidelines have closed all of the gaps that THEY have tried to manipulate over the years.

Both my Wife and I keep a copy of the Judgement and a copy of the Supplemental Guidelines in a folder on our desks at our offices. When BioDad or SpermGrandMa call to start their manipulative crap the Judgement/Guideline folder comes out immediately, we roll them up and commence to smack BioDad and SpermGrandMa about the head and shoulders with the rules. (figuratively of course)

They call my wife, who conferences me in to the call then she and I IM each other back and forth while they try to manipulate. eg.... Them: "The lawyer that I clean houses for says that the Skid is old enough now to make his own decision on where he wants to live". Me IM'ing my wife: "Supplemental rule X.XX.XXX says very specifically that in the State of Liberal Treehugger land that at no point can a minor child choose which parent they want to live with. However, at age 12 they can present their preference to the Judge and the Judge can elect to either consider the child's request or not. Say this to them "Look at the environment you provide ..... multiple out of wedlock children, girlfriend of the month moving in your home with her unrelated children, her children getting the bedrooms while SS gets the floor during visitation, your arrest record, the fact that you dump your kids off at your mother's while you play grab ass with the girlfriends, etc ........" "How do you think a judge will consider these facts if you choose to go back to court for a custody, visitation or support modification?"

My wife then makes the comments that I just IM'd to her and they explode with "You would like to go back to court wouldn't you, you are a !@#*# #E$*(()%)) @#*%)#_ ........."

My wife then responds with "The rules are the rules, the facts are the facts. If you don't like the facts improve your behavior and decisions and see if the court will agree with you. Until then, follow the rules".

Them: "Where are these supplemental rules you keep bringing up? We have never seen them."

Wife: "Call your lawyer. I am sure they will be happy to send you a copy for about $200.00"

Them: "We don't have $200.00"

Wife: "Not my problem"

They are too stupid to realize that they can look them up online or go to the County Court House and ask for a copy for fee.

Stupid people are so easy to control. I LOVE IT!

They hate the rules and ultimately we end up at a point where we say "The rules are the rules. If you don't like them takes us to court". They reply with "You would like that wouldn't you ...... bitch, bitch, cuss, cuss, moan, moan ......." then they go away for another several quarters until they think they have a half a brain between them and can crawl out of their holes to try to manipulate the situation again.

We review the rules and judgement with my SS periodically so that he understands the guidelines that we are making decisions within. That way he understands that we are not the bad guys who are being mean to his BioDad and SpermGrandMa. The Judgement is clear, the Supplemental Rules are clear and they are what they are.

When SS comes home with "BioDad says he can't afford nice things for my HalfSibs because he pays to much in CS for me". We pull out the judgement and the calculation formula, show him how the CS was calculated by the Court, we show him the QuickBooks file where we track our monthly costs and a supplemental report associated with what it costs to raise him and how small a percentage of the actual costs for raising him that BioDad pays through CS. Mom is a CPA and Dad (me) is an engineer. Analysis, data and spreadsheets are our lives. (Poor kid Wink )

Over the first few weeks after returning from visitation my SS will make comments like. "Dad bought a new snowboard, Wii, car, etc ....... now wonder why he does not have any money to help my Sibs". Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding! The Skid is smart. When he has the terms of judgement and supplemental rules and the facts of his BioDad's/SpermFamilies behavior he comes to his own perspective on reality. Fact based perceptions are usually the right ones.

Sorry for the meandering post. But, follow the judgment, keep track of the facts and you will rarely have to justify the decisions you make to anyone including the Skids. When they are old enough, you can show them the judgment, supplemental rules, CS calculations and household budget and they can make up their own minds about the viability of everyone's behavior.

just my thoughts of course.

CVOinNorthernVA's picture

Your comments was very enlighting to say the least. I have never heard of "The Supplemental Guidelines" after the final dcree is signed. That is great news. I have done hours of research for my H on his EX and how she does not follow the decree in almost all the rulings from the judge. Could you please tell me where I would find such a paper? "The Supplemental Guidelines". We live in Northern Va and the EX lives in Beford County Va.
Thanks so much...

Rags's picture

relating to guidelines for visitation in VA.

CVO,

You might have more luck with an attorney or PI helping you find Supplemental Rules in they exist in the County of Jurisdiction where your Skids case is located.

Good luck and best regards,

Rags's picture

I could find none for VA. Here is a link for what I did find though it does not have much useful info.

http://www.courts.state.va.us/drs/resolutions/june2003/family_law_update...

The supplemental rules in the county for my SS's case.
XXXXX County Circuit Court
Third Judicial District
APPENDIX B
Supplementary Local Rule 8.075
Version 4
UNIFORM PARENTING PLAN
1. Introduction:
STATE law encourages parents to remain involved with their children because both parents are important
to a child’s growth and development. Parents are required to adopt a parenting plan which assures a
child's continuing contact with both parents. The plan should take into account evidence of drug and
alcohol abuse, domestic violence, and any other unique circumstances of the family.
The Court feels strongly that the best parenting plan is one created by the parents who will follow it. We
expect and encourage parents to create their own parenting plan, taking into consideration the schedules
and needs of each family member. This plan is a last resort, and should only be used when the parents or
the court cannot create a more appropriate plan for the family.
During this process, it is important for parents to attempt to minimize the amount of conflict the children
are exposed to, because research has shown that children that are exposed to conflict are at increased risk
for behavior problems, anxiety and depression. Parents involved in high levels of conflict should consider
including provisions in the parenting plan that reduce conflict. For example, parents can be specific about
what times the child will be with each parent, methods of exchanging the child, and any other areas that
might be subject to dispute later. The parents may choose to exchange the child at a neutral location, such
as a fast food restaurant or a supervised visitation center. In addition, parents should not communicate
through the child, and should consider whether there are easier ways to communicate, such as through email.
For more suggestions, please request “Checklist for Creating Parenting Plans that Reduce Conflict”
from Dissolution Resource Services on the first floor of the Courthouse, or from the mediator or judge
assigned to your case.
This rule uses the terms "custodial parent" and "non-custodial parent" as a way to identify two separate
parents. It does not mean that one parent is prevented from playing an active role in the child’s life.
Parents are encouraged to be flexible and to consider what is best for their child when arranging parenting
time. XXXXX County may be able to provide free mediation services to help resolve custody and
parenting time conflicts.
XXXXX County's Local Court Rule 8.075 has been changed many times over the years. This version does
not automatically replace existing orders written when earlier versions of the rule were in effect. This
version of Rule 8.075 is effective for court orders which are put in place after the adoption date noted
below.
2. Definitions:
"Child" includes all minor children referred to in the Judgment or Order.
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"Custodial parent" refers to the parent awarded sole custody by the court's judgment or order. That parent
is the child's primary residential parent if joint custody is awarded.
"Non-custodial parent" refers to the parent who is not the custodial parent as defined above.
"Parenting time" replaces the word "visitation". Each parent actually parents the child while the child is
with that parent. Parenting time describes the schedule by which the child spends time with each parent.
3. Parenting Time Provisions:
3.1 Weekends: The child shall be with the non-custodial parent every other
weekend, beginning on Friday night at 7:00 p.m. and ending the following Monday
morning.
3.1.1 The non-custodial parent shall feed the child breakfast on Monday
morning and deliver the child no later than 9:00 a.m. to the child’s home or day
care. The non-custodial parent shall feed a school age child breakfast and
deliver the child to school in time for the child’s first class.
3.1.2 Parents may agree to vary this weekend schedule provided the
agreement is in writing. For example, parents may agree to end weekends on
Sunday night at 7 p.m. rather than Monday morning or that the child is to be
dropped off Monday morning at the custodial parent's home rather than at the
child's school.
3.1.3 The child shall be with the non-custodial parent until Tuesday morning
if that parent’s weekend falls on a weekend during the school year on which the
next Monday is a state or federally recognized holiday on which there is no
school.
3.1.4 The alternate weekend parenting time schedule shall rotate each year as
follows:
3.1.4.1 The non-custodial parent’s first weekend in even numbered
years shall begin at 7:00 p.m. on the Friday of Labor Day Weekend and
end Monday night at 7:30 p.m.
3.1.4.2 The non-custodial parent’s first weekend in odd numbered
years shall begin on the first Friday following the Labor Day Weekend.
3.2 Mid-week Time with the Child
3.2.1 The child shall be with the non-custodial parent every other
Wednesday. The time shall begin at 5:00 p.m. and end at 8:00 p.m. if the child
is in school and begin at 10:00 a.m. and end at 7:30 p.m. if the child is not in
school.
3.2.2 The first alternate Wednesday shall follow the non-custodial parent’s
first weekend with the child in September each year.
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Third Judicial District
3.3 Winter Vacation
3.3.1 The child shall be with the non-custodial parent in even numbered years
beginning at 7:00 p.m. on the day that school adjourns until 10:00 a.m. on
December 25. The child shall be with the custodial parent for the remainder of
the child’s winter vacation.
3.3.2 The child shall be with the custodial parent in odd numbered years
beginning at 7:00 p.m. on the day that school adjourns until 10:00 a.m. on
December 25. The child shall be with the non-custodial parent for the remainder
of the child’s winter vacation until 7:00 p.m. on the day before school resumes.
3.3.3 The alternate weekend and alternate Wednesday parenting time
schedule shall not operate during the winter vacation period.
3.3.4 The winter vacation schedule in the public school district in which the
child lives shall be followed if the child is not attending school.
3.4 Summer Vacation
3.4.1 The child shall spend alternating two-week blocks of time with each
parent during the school's recess for summer vacation. The summer vacation
schedule in the public school district in which the child lives shall be followed if
the child is not attending school.
3.4.1.1 The child shall spend the first two-week block of time in even
numbered years with the non-custodial parent beginning at 7:00 p.m. on
the first Friday following the recess of school for the summer. The child
shall spend the next two weeks with the custodial parent, then two
weeks with the non-custodial parent, and so on throughout the
remainder of the summer.
3.4.1.2 The alternating two week schedule shall begin in odd
numbered years with the non-custodial parent beginning at 7:00 p.m. on
the third Friday following the recess of school for the summer. The
custodial parent will have the first two weeks.
3.4.2 The summer schedule shall end at 7 p.m. on the Friday of Labor Day
Weekend even if this cuts short a parent's two-week block of time. The
provisions of paragraph 3.1.4 dictate which parent will have the child over the
Labor Day weekend.
3.4.3 The alternate weekend and alternate Wednesday parenting time
schedule shall not operate during the summer vacation period. However,
children 30 months or younger shall spend four hours on Wednesday of each
week with the other parent during the other parent’s two week block of time.
4. Other Holidays, Events and Vacation Days:
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Third Judicial District
The residential schedule for the child for the holidays, events and vacation days listed below is as
follows:
Thanksgiving Vacation:
Custodial parent - odd years
Non-custodial parent - even years
The Thanksgiving Holiday begins on Wednesday at 7:00 p.m. and ends on the
following Sunday at 7:00 p.m.
Halloween:
Custodial parent - even years
Non-custodial parent - odd years
Halloween begins on October 31st at 5:30 p.m. and ends at 9:00 p.m.
Spring Vacation:
Custodial parent - even years
Non-custodial parent - odd years
Spring Vacation begins at 10:00 a.m. on the day after school adjourns and ends on the
Monday morning school resumes whether or not the child is in school.
Mother's Day: always with mother beginning at 10:00 a.m. on Sunday and ending at
7:00 p.m. the same day.
Father's Day: always with father beginning at 10:00 a.m. on Sunday and ending at 7:00
p.m. the same day.
Fourth of July: with the parent whose summer schedule includes July 4th.
Birthdays:
Child's Birthday:
Custodial parent - even years
Non-custodial parent - odd years
Mother's Birthday: Always with mother, at mother's option
Father's Birthday: Always with father, at father's option
Birthday's which fall on a school day begin at 5:00 p.m. and end at 8:00 p.m. The
Birthday will begin at 10:00 a.m. and end at 7:00 p.m. if it falls on a non-school day.
5. Long Distance and Out-of-State Parenting Time Suggestions:
5.1 The parenting plan outlined in this rule is practical in terms of time and distance
for parents who live within 75 miles of each other. The schedule may not work for
parents who live more than 75 miles apart. It is not possible to write a standard
parenting schedule for parents who live a long distance from each other because each
situation is different. Parents are encouraged to include a "long distance" parenting
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schedule in their parenting plan if a move is anticipated. The following are non-binding
suggestions for parents and the court to consider in establishing a "long distance"
schedule.
5.1.1 Which parent is moving, the non-custodial parent or the custodial parent
and child?
5.1.2 Why does the parent want to move?
5.1.3 Why is the non-custodial parent resisting the move?
5.1.4 Will the child's move improve the child's and moving parent's quality of
life?
5.1.5 Is it possible to fashion a new and reasonable parenting schedule which
makes adjustments for the distance between the parents?
5.1.6 Is the non-custodial parent who opposed the child's move seeking a
change of custody and if so, whether any of the provisions of law concerning
modification of custody are present?
5.1.7 What practical effect will an order denying the request to move the
child have including, but not limited to, the emotional harm to the child of
having reduced contact with the parent effected by the move? The child's age,
activities, location of extended family, friends and support group all having a
bearing on this question.
5.1.8 Did the moving parent provide enough advance notice to the other parent?
5.1.9 How involved has each parent been in the child's life?
5.1.10 What additional costs will there be for the child to spend time with
each parent, which parent's move is causing that cost and which parent is
prepared to pay the additional costs?
5.1.11 What effort has the moving parent made to suggest a reasonable
parenting schedule which addresses the non-moving parent's legitimate
concerns?
5.1.12 What efforts will each parent likely make, based on that parent's
record to that point, to encourage the relationship between the child and parent
who will be impacted by the child's move?
5.2 An existing court ordered visitation or parenting schedule is binding on both
parents unless or until a court decides otherwise. This effectively places a burden on a
parent who is moving a child's residence to change the existing parenting schedule if the
non-moving parent objects to the move or no agreement can be reached on the terms of
a long distance parenting schedule. Any agreed change to an existing parenting schedule
should be reduced to writing, signed by both parents and submitted to the court with a
place for the judge to sign to make the writing effective as a modification judgment.
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6. Rules Relating to The Use of Parenting Time
6.1 Personal Plans. Personal plans of the custodial parent or child, (for example,
school or church activities) do not justify a parent's failure to follow the parenting time
schedule.
6.2 Delivery and Pick-up. All parenting time shall take place in a prompt manner.
The following delivery and pick up rule shall apply to parents who live 75 or less miles
apart (or within a distance that allows for exercising alternating weekend parenting
time).
6.2.1 The non-custodial parent shall pick up the child to begin the parenting
time.
6.2.2 The non-custodial parent shall be responsible for returning the child to
end the parenting time if that return is taking place on a Monday morning as
contemplated by this rule. The custodial parent shall pick up the child to end the
parenting time if that time ends in the evening. This places an additional
transportation burden on a parent who wishes to have the child stay the
additional overnight (usually Sunday).
6.2.3 Unless otherwise agreed or ordered by the court, pick up and delivery
shall occur no more than 15 minutes before or 15 minutes after the time set for
parenting time to begin and end.
6.2.4 This rule's reference to a "parent" as the individual responsible for
pickup and delivery should not be taken literally. Other individuals known to
the child such as grandparents, step-parents, live in girl\boyfriends, etc. are
authorized to transport the child.
6.3 No Shows and Make-Ups. Only medical reasons will be considered sufficient for
postponement of parenting time. A makeup time shall occur on the following weekend
if a child is ill and unable to visit. There will be no makeup parenting time if the noncustodial
parent misses a scheduled time with the child. The illness of one child does not
mean that the other children's time is also canceled.
6.3.1 Some non-custodial parents have a history of not using their scheduled
weekends (for example: one "no show" per month for 3 months). The custodial
parent may advise the non-custodial parent in writing that the next following
regularly-scheduled parenting time will be canceled unless the non-custodial
parent gives at least three days advance notice that he or she will use the
scheduled weekend parenting time if this problem exists.
6.3.2 Canceling the next regularly-scheduled parenting time should not be
done lightly and should not be done by the custodial parent unless there is a
regular history of missed parenting time.
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6.4 Non-assigned time. Unless otherwise agreed in writing, the custodial parent is
responsible for the child during all times that the child is not scheduled to be with the
non-custodial parent. This does not mean that either parent is restricted from attending
public events where the child is in attendance such as school programs and athletic
events.
6.5 Meals & Clothes. The custodial parent shall have the child fed, sufficient
clothing packed, and on time for all exchanges. The non-custodial parent shall return all
clothing and feed the child before returning the child from the parenting time period.
6.6 Conflicting Dates. The holiday schedule takes precedence over the alternating
weekend schedule. The holiday schedule may create times when the child will be with
the same parent for three weekends in a row. This happens when a vacation or holiday
defined in this rule replaces the normal schedule for a given weekend or time period.
6.7 Day Care. The non-custodial parent shall be responsible for arranging day care
for the child during his or her time with the child. No child under the age of 11 shall be
left unsupervised.
6.8 Support of Parenting time. The custodial parent shall not discourage the child
from spending time with the non-custodial parent. Contrary to common belief, STATE
does not allow a child to determine where he is going to live at any age.
6.9 Flexibility. Parents are encouraged to be flexible and to consider their child’s best
interests in the use of this rule. This rule is designed to provide a schedule to parents
who have not been able to agree to a schedule on their own. It does not create an
absolute maximum or minimum amount of time the non-custodial parent can be with the
child, nor does it restrict a parent from seeing a child at school or events. Reasonable
adjustments to the schedule should be considered so important family events and the
child’s activities take place with minimal disruption or hard feelings.
6.9.1 Each parent shall act reasonably in registering the child for activities
keeping in mind that neither parent is entitled to commit the child to an activity
which will take place during the other parent’s time with the child. On the other
hand, there are natural activities which occur (such as school, athletic, music
and other programs) that, by their very nature, take place during the other
parent’s scheduled time with the child.
6.9.2 Although neither parent is required to take a child to any activity, each
parent is encouraged to use his or her best effort to keep the child involved in
athletic events, school functions, lessons, birthday parties of friends, etc. even
though those activities may fall during a parenting time period. To do otherwise
would deprive the child of valuable growing opportunities.
6.9.3 Each parent is encouraged to use a child’s activity as an opportunity for
that parent to participate with the child, meet the child’s friends and other
families and to have a quality experience with the child.
6.9.4 A child is not permitted to determine whether he or she visits the
noncustodial parent. However, older teenagers are often involved in their own
activities and are unable (or unwilling) to spend time with their parents on a
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regular schedule as they did when they were younger. Both parents must be
considerate of older teenagers and recognize that they wish (and need) to spend
more time with their peers rather than their parents. Parents will need to make
adjustments to accommodate these life changes.
6.9.5 Parents should make plans directly with each other rather than through
the child. It is unfair for the child to serve as the message carrier for two parents
who find it difficult to communicate directly with each other. Children who find
themselves in this position learn to manipulate and play one parent off against
the other.
6.10 Writing and Telephoning. Each parent shall have the right to correspond with
the child during reasonable hours without monitoring by the other parent or anyone else.
This correspondence may take the form of letters, fax transmissions, E-mail or
telephone calls. Unless otherwise agreed, there shall be no more than three telephone
calls per week. Long distance telephone calls made by the child shall be paid for by the
parent receiving the call.
6.11 Changes to the Parenting time Schedule. Enforceable changes in the parenting
time schedule can only be made by court order. Any agreed upon temporary change
shall be in a writing which is signed and dated by both parents to assure that there is no
misunderstanding at a later date on the terms of the change.
7. Rules Relating To The Custodial Relationship And Each Parent's Responsibilities
To The Child:
7.1 Addresses and telephone numbers. Each parent shall provide their home (not
just mailing) address and home telephone numbers to the other parent unless otherwise
ordered by the court. The parent with the child shall notify the other parent of the
location and telephone number of where the child will be sleeping if the parent is taking
the child out of the town where that parent resides for more than three consecutive
overnights. Each parent shall be reasonable with this rule. For example, it is possible to
give a general location but no telephone number if a camping trip is contemplated.
7.2 Mutual Respect Towards the Other Parent. Neither parent shall make bad or
unflattering comments about the other parent or in any way try to diminish the love,
respect and affection that the child has for the other parent.
7.3 Access to Records and Events. The non-custodial parent has the right to visit
with the child at school, attend the child’s school activities (such as an open house or
sports activities), and have full access to school teachers and administrators for
complete information about the child in school. This includes parent-teacher
conferences. Parents shall be primarily responsible for keeping themselves advised of
the child’s activities and events.
7.4 Daily Care. The parent with whom the child is staying shall be responsible for
daily care and shall make necessary decisions regarding emergency medical or dental
care. The non-custodial parent’s rights to make daily care decisions does not include
leaving a child unattended in violation of STATE law, haircuts, permanents, or making
any substantial change in the child’s appearance (i.e., tattoos, ear piercing, etc.) unless
authorized to do so by the custodial parent.
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7.5 Emergencies. The parent with the child shall immediately tell the other parent of
any emergency circumstances or substantial changes in the health or safety of the child.
7.6 Decision Making. The custodial parent is encouraged to consult with
noncustodial parent about major decisions which will affect the child even though the
custodial parent has the ultimate decision-making authority. It is important for parents to
communicate with each other prior to making plans for lessons, athletic activities, camp,
extended medical and dental treatment, out-of-town visits to relatives, etc. Each parent
is encouraged to work cooperatively with the other to create the most positive and
productive atmosphere possible for the child.
7.7 Smoking or Drinking Alcohol in the Presence of the Child. An issue frequently
occurs when one parent smokes or drinks alcohol in front of the child and the other
parent objects. Neither parent should smoke in the presence of the child (nor smoke in
any manner so the child is breathing the smoke) if the parents cannot agree on this issue.
Neither parent should drink alcohol to the point where they are affected by the alcohol.
7.8 Moving. Neither parent shall move to a residence which is more than 60 miles
further distant from the other parent without giving the other parent reasonable notice of
the change of residence and providing a copy of such notice to the court. ORS 107.159.
7.9 Parenting time is Independent From Support. A parent's right to spend time
with a child is not dependent on that parent's payment of child support. One parent's
failure to comply with the terms of the judgment does not mean that the other parent can
now ignore its terms. It is not permissible to withhold the child from the other parent as
a way to encourage the payment of support.
7.10 Joint Custody. True joint custody means that each parent has equal authority to
make major decisions which effect the child. Joint custody has nothing to do with the
amount of time that a child spends with either parent nor does it affect the level of child
support. Under present state law, the court cannot order joint custody unless both
parents agree to it. Questions about joint custody should be directed to an attorney.
8. Age Suggestions:
This rule recognizes that parenting time guidelines should be based upon the needs of a
growing child. Parents may wish to ask the court to consider these age-related
suggestions if they seem appropriate. These suggestions are not automatically binding
unless the court order specifically states they are to apply rather than the other
provisions of this rule.
8.1 The infant, age 0-1. Frequent two to four hour visits, two or three days per week
from custodial parent's home; also one additional afternoon or evening per week.
Single overnight per week parenting time, provided the non-custodial parent has been
actively involved in the caretaking role.
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8.2 The toddler, age 1 to 3 ½. Four weekend days per month, plus one-half (½) day
per week (4 to 6 hours). Overnight parenting time, provided the non-custodial parent has
been actively involved in the caretaking role and/or is accompanied by an older child.
During any parenting time of 7 days or more, the other parent should have a four hour
mid-week visit.
8.3 The pre-schooler, age 3 ½ to 5. Alternate weekends from 7:00 p.m. Friday to
7:00 p.m. Sunday, plus either one non-overnight weekday per week during the afternoon
or evening. Summer visits should be as set out in the Rule. The other parent should have
a four hour mid-week visit during any visits of 7 days or more.
8.4 The early elementary, age 6 to 9. Summer time-shares should be as set out in the
Rule. The parenting time schedule should be flexible enough to insure the children’s
participation in ongoing or special activities.
8.5 The later elementary, age 10 to 12. The minimum is the same as the early
elementary. Flexible parenting time is the best principle, with the children having some
input to avoid scheduling conflicts. At this age, it seems the quality of time is more
important than the quantity but consideration should be given to the child’s organized
athletics and outside activities.
8.6 The adolescent, age 13 or over. The minimum is the same as later elementary.
The child and parent may want to change the schedule if it interferes with the child’s
other activities.

CVOinNorthernVA's picture

It amazes me how the attorny's don't tell you that this even exsists.This type of information is/ could be very helpful to a lot of people.As well as saving the folks a lot of money, not having to tale the EX back to court everytime.
Thank you looking.
CVO