I have a son and only dated guys who had no kids until 4 years ago. I didn't think it was going to be that big of a deal when I met my now husband. We met when we were 13 years old but lost contact and he found me on myspace...we've been together since.

He was worried because he had 2 kids and his ex was freakin' nuts. I am not that way with my son and his father so I had NO CLUE things would end up the way they did. I may have not gotten envolved with hubby had I known...I don't know its actually something he asks me regularly and it's easier to say it now I guess.

He too had not dated anyone with kids but for him it's been complete opposite. My ex and him get along sooo well. Exchanges can actually happen with the two of them..they have had drinks together and even joke about how they could be best friends if it weren't for me. My ex has a girlfriend (about 2 years) but she hasn't quite joined the group...I try talking to her and even explained I deal with a crazy BM and I would never do that to her. I think she'll come around after she gets over the wierdness of it all.

the other way. IMHO.

In our case our Son's (My SS) BioDad had nothing to do with the SKid or my wife until he found out that we were dating. Then the manipulative SpermClan tag team match started. Suddenly after an extended period of zero interest he started calling with the "I love you and I miss my kid" crap. Then SpermGrandMa filed for custody in BioDad's name and the Family Court game was on. They attempted to intimidate my Wife, then a single teen welfare Mom out of state college student, into giving up custody of her (our) son.

This went on for the 9 months we dated. My Wife countered their legal moves by taking out supplemental school loans and hiring a lawyer of her own. BioDad (then 24) married his 16yo statutory rape victim GF a month before the final no bullshit court date (they kept postponing after my Wife would fly home to go to court in an effort to bankrupt her with air fare costs on top of legal costs) in order to avoid a statutory rape charge which we were going to bring to the court's attention when we finally got in front of a Judge. We married two weeks after BioDad and his statutory rape victim bride. The only thing we had when we married was my newly minted BS in Electronics Engineering but my income turned the financial balance in our favor and we have beat them about the head and shoulders with our checkbook and the Family Court Judgement ever since. IT got a lot easier to beat them once my Wife finisher her Undergrad and we both finished Grad Shool. BioDad going on to a distinguished career of impregnating every available Womb in the NE did not help his cause much in front of the courts. He has 4 out-of-wedlock by three different mothers. He did go on to become an intermittently employed Journeyman plumber. Which is more than I ever expected he was capable of. Unfortunately his craft training and skilled employment has not done much to improve his judgement over the past 15+ years. My Wife and I celebrated or 15th anniversary 4wks ago. BioDad divorced his 16yo wife ~3mos after the court date.

My Wife was 16 when her (our) Son was born. He is an only child in our home.

The only thing that has made our situation for the 15yrs we have been married tolerable is that we have never lived less than 1200 miles from the SpermClan. They have been enough of a PITA from a thousand + miles away. If we were close enough for the EOW/EOWE thing one or more of the SpermClan would likely be on the missing persons list never to be found. JJOC.

I would marry my wife again in a second and would be as proud to be my Son's (SS) Dad again as I have been the first time.

But, SParenting is the toughest job on the planet. Anyone who thinks being a parent is hard has never tried being a StepParent. Or so I hear from many STalkers who are both BPs and SPs. Though my own perspective is only from the StepDad side of things. I have been Dad to my now 17yo SS since before he was 2yo. I am the only full time/REAL Dad he has ever had.

Success is rarely final. Failure is rarely fatal. It is character, courage and consistency of effort that count. Vince Lombardi (with some minor Rags modifications) To each according to their performance, screw Karl Marx. (Rags)