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Funny how BM gets to control our sh*$ storms

MotherTrucker's picture

Submitted by MotherTrucker on Wed, 05/22/2013 - 7:13am

I have read on here 100 times that when the BM is happy then our worlds seem to go a little smoother and I have always thought that wasn't true. I always assumed that I could control the shit storms that sweep in and take over my life. Well as it turns out, I was wrong. I have come to the realization that when all is right in BM's world, she leaves us the hell alone and is even somewhat "easy going" about everything.

Ever since BM moved back in with her just divorced from ExH and she says that they have NEVER been happier and that they will NOT be splitting up EVER again, she has backed off of and out of our lives. I do not agree that her moving back in so soon is a good idea, but that is just because DH and I are afraid that if something were to go wrong and BM moves back out AGAIN that SD will start being upset all the time AGAIN.

On the flip side it is soooooo nice that BM is leaving us the hell alone and has even offered for DH to have SD a few days extra to make up for the time that she has taken from him lately. I am at peace and so is DH..... for now anyway.

I just wish that BM could take a step back and see that when SD was happy that is was because BM had settled down and started a routine, then when SD was really sad and depressed all the time it was when BM moved out and got divored from her ExH, and now that SD is happy go lucky again it is right when BM moves SD back into her ExH house and back to being near her friends and into a routine that isn't full of chaos again. Why does BM not see that everything that has happened with SD has been an exact reaction to the chaos in BM's life? Why does she think it is us when we have changed NOTHING? I guess that I shouldn't care because she is leaving us alone, but I want the damn questions answered.

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RandomOne's picture

Submitted by RandomOne on Wed, 05/22/2013 - 9:52am

people like that don't realize what they do actually affect OTHER people, kids, friends, family, etc...
my ss bm ins't going from place to place, but she just isn't there. she will pick him up from her relatives any where from a day to a week and bring him back. so un-stable. she and her long time bf got married and we thought maybe she would want to be in her sons life more, but no. it also is no surprise that her new hubby has a kid of his own and has him every other weekend. they both are part time parents and the rest of us have to see her son hurt. i just realized that bm is also a sm - how is she blind to her own actions? before ss8 would ask where we are dropping him off or have stories what he and his mom did. not any more. it also doesn't help when she cant even keep their apartment clean - from what i understand it is nasty.
i really do think some of the problems we have with ss is that he is trying to have some sort of connection and will pick up habits he thinks will help him 'fit in.'
maybe that's the bigger issue with these kids - they just want to fit in somewhere and long for a connection with someone. not saying that they don't have one with their dads or anyone else - but with someone who is there 24/7. things go sour quick when things change and they aren't the priority (in the bm or bd lives).

the only thing we can do is provide a stable and reliable home - even if it means dealing with them when they are annoying and helpless lol.

i hope things stay calm for y'all and the bm doesn't change her mind about her ex/current for a while.