That is an amazing story. I also just loved that SS sat down at your table at the beginning. Sometimes the parents are more petty than the kids! It doesn't hurt to be nice to people. I don't know why people go out of their way to be mean. I like how you handled it. 

Win for the good guys 

Now I'm going to have to dig deep here, but I think one power play that I did that was successful and felt REALLY great was when SD25 Feral Forger called my phone demanding to speak to her father because he wasnt answering his phone or her texts.

I pushed hard for her to tell me what she wanted. With much attempted blockage, she told me she wanted to move back into "her old room" for a month, because "its her dads house and shes his CHILD". This was roughly a year ago. 

I was able to tell her "no in fact its BOTH our house, we bought it, BOTH our names are on it, we BOTH pay equally for things, and she hates me so that would not work out."

FELT SOOOOOOOOOO FABULOUS 

She did not in fact have anything to say so she hung up on me....

My brother and his wife went to his youngest's wedding (his other two didn't invite him to theirs) fully expecting to be relegated to a table in the darkest, darkest, cobweb-ridden corner of the room. Didn't happen. They were at the top table (where the happy couple and their nearest and dearest sit) and my SIL was treated 100% as the third mother there. I've never been so happy for them. My ex-SIL was probably gnashing her teeth for weeks afterwards, a thought which brings me great joy. 

Power move - I think the biggest power move came when I suddenly was not hurt by any of their recent passive aggressive moves or direct attacks. I literally don't care. There was an attempt to pull me into drama and I didn't take the bait. What that position has led me to - is recently my DH tried to pull me back in and tell me to "take the higher ground" with his family, we need to be a functioning unit. This statement immediately put the oneous on ME to fix problems that I did NOT create.

I had already had a glass or two of champagne - so my defenses were down and my emotions could have gotten the best of me. Even though I wasn't ready for that to be placed on me by my beloved DH...somehow I managed to logic through a very short answer for DH. I explained very simply: I am here, I haven't been on the attack EVER in the history of this family. I have been attacked- repeatedly. I have continued to let SKIDs lob bombs into my lap time and time again. But now I've developed an iron clad shield that won't allow any of that. I stand ready and welcome to accept an apology and changed behavior otherwise I stand firm in where I am today. I have nothing to do but to allow for the aggressors to advance with a peace offering. 

LAWRD help me....it was almost an out of body experience because I didn't get into the details of their horrible behavior, how I've been wronged or how angry I was- I didn't even get angry at DH for once again expecting me to solve problems I had not hand in creating. I simply stated my terms and that I am NOT backing down. 

DH stayed quiet. I mean- what can you say to that?! :D 

Proud of myself and I won't change my stance nor will I let a trojan horse in. Genuine, authentic changed behavior is all I am willing to accept. Otherwise DON'T come near me.

I was MOH for SD28. Wedding party pictures were taken the morning of the wedding with plans for the bride, her attendants, and BioHo to ride around in a limo afterwards and drink champagne. (We all know that 'Ho drinking is a brilliant idea...)

I was the last to arrive (deliberately, due to great reluctance). You could've heard a pin drop when I walked into the room. Queue the furtive looks and sideways glances. I knew 'Ho had been busy but could not have cared less. It was SD's day. Period. 

I had on knee-high boots and a burgandy sweater dress. The others had on satin pajamas: shorts and short-sleeved button up tops. (The original MOH was barely 5 feet tall and weighed 90 lbs - no way her pjs would've fit this 5'8 Amazon.) All wore fuzzy white slippers except for 'Ho who had on - who guessed it - white flip flops with rhinestone straps. 

SD jumped up to hug me and introduced me to everyone, then showed me to the kitchenette and aaaaaall of the booze, insisting I have a mimosa cocktail. I poured half a glass of Andre champagne to appease her (I don't drink orange juice). 

One by one, all were getting professional make-up done (I declined due to product sensitivity and did my own) and SD was having her hair styled. The drinks were flowing and 'Ho was getting louder. I'd said maybe a dozen words.

Once make-up was completed, 'Ho brought out ingredients to make shots. Specifically, Blow Jobs. Nice choice, huh? She's making a right mess. "Oh f*ck this! Aniki's a bartender. SHE can make 'um. Aniki do you even know what a Blow Job IS?!" ~screeches with laughter~ SD looked down, cheeks flaming, peeked up at me and whispered, "Ani, will you please?" "Of course." So I took over while 'Ho flop-smacked away yelling, "You might be thuh expert but I'M thuh SEX-pert!!!" ~more screeching~

We all piled into the limo with more booze (oy). 'Ho was her usual class act and got sh!t-faced. The limo driver had to pull over twice so she could upchuck. Two hours of screeching, barfing 'Ho. Oh, happy joy. She was first out and on her knees in the snow, blocking the door. SD was beet red and teary-eyed. One of her bridesmaids tapped my arm and said, "I'm sorry I was so b!tchy to you. You're actually really nice." The other two nodded and also apologized. What a morning that was. *wacko*

I don't know if you consider that to be a powerplay, but it felt like one to me.

We've waited a long time for that but it was worth it. I  have nothing to add other than YOU GO ANIKI!

I applaud and celebrate all of you amazing ladies....and your triumphs.

Not nearly the level of what you all have accomplished on this topic, but.....

No one would speak at my FIL's celebration of life/memorial service. None of his own kids would do it. My DW asked me to do it.

So, I MCd the whole event.  MIL, DW and her three younger sibs did all of the decorating, selecting flower arrangements, memorabilia, etc... I wrote a life review for FIL.   Family history, humorous stories, life events from various stages of his life, etc..

The event went for about an hour.  At the end I had several people approach me to shake my hand, thank me for such a wonderful celebration of FIL, and to tell me that it was the most enjoyable and meaningful funeral they had ever attended.   The funeral director shook my hand and thanked me for such an enjoyable recounting of my FIL and commented that it was the most meaningful memorial he had seen in his career.

Over the next several months a number of the people at FIL's memorial spoke with MIL and shared how special it was.  She shared each of those discussions with a call to my DW.

It took FIL and I a while to connect.  We developed a level of respect for each other that I think allowed me to represent his life respectfully and with some direct experiences of his interesting and enjoyable life and personality.  Even my BILs and SIL commented that they did not know a number of things about their dad that I had presented. FIL's person was my DW. Even my MIL has said that DW was her dad's person. FIL is not DW's biodad. MILs first husband was killed in his early 20s in a car accident a few days before MIL found out that she was pregnant with DW.  FIL and MIL grew up together. Their parents were close friends. When the Army moved MIL back to the states a few days after her 1stDH was killed, FIL was there for MIL.  They married when DW was 2mos old.

DW knows all of what I spoke of at the memorial.  The three younger ones never paid much attention and still don't listen worth a crap.

FIL passed a month before our 24th anniversary.  I had told DW that we should renew our vows on our 20th rather than the more traditional 25th anniversary vow renewal. I feared my FIL would not survive until our 25th. Sadly, I was right.  FIL was beaming when he walked my DW down the isle at our winery/vineyard wedding in their home town.  I am happy that they both had that experience and the memories that my DW has of that for the rest of her life.

MIL asked for a copy of my FIL memorial.  She keeps the original copy with my highlights and notes in a memorial album she has for FIL.

Not specifically a SParent power play, but.... I think it makes a statement about my BILs and SIL more than anything.  Just maybe it is an indicator that I am not a heartless asshat as much as anything.

I got one!!!

For his entire life from age 2 on SS-32, would regularly be told by the SpermClan that I am not his real dad. He can't call me dad. I'm just his step dad, etc, etc, etc...His mom and I met and started dating when SS was 15mos old. So I have been there from fairly close to the beginning.

I'm the only full time dad he has ever known or has memory of. While he has always known the SpermIdiot and had COd visitation, ostensibly with the SpermIdiot, from just before his 2nd B-day, the SpermIdiot has jad little to do with him. At most SS would spend a few hours with his BioDad during a 5wk summer visit, or 1wk winter visit, or 1wk spring visit.  He spent all of his visitation time with either his GGPs when he was toddler age and a young child, or with SpermGrandHag as he got older.  There were several periods of a year or more that the SpermClan would refuse visitation completely.  

It came out later that there was even a 2yr period where the SpermIdiot moved to the opposite coast and DW was never informed. Even when in SpermLand during that period, the SpermIdiot was not there not only to visit with SS, but to see any of the three younger of his all out of wedlock spawn by 3 baby mamas.

A few months before his 23rd B-day SS called. It was obvious that he was trying to figure out how to get something out.  After a few mumbling minutes he told me he wanted to change his name.  I asked him what name did he want!?.  He said he wanted to take the family last name.  I told him sure, go file the name change papers.  He got quiet and then said "No dad, I want a full meal deal adoption.   You're my dad , you have always been my dad, and I want you to adopt me".

Yep, I tearfully burned a stack of man cards on that one.

Maybe I did not recognize it when it was happening but, I suppose on some level, I have been on a life long and counting SParental power play in my kid's life.

I was the first person he ever called Dad(dy). His mom nor I ever told him to do that. He made that choice when he learned to talk. I'm the dad that raised him, taught him to tie his shoes, ride his bike, to read, write, coached his sports teams, was at all of his school events, graduations, etc, etc, etc...  More importantly I am the dad that defended he and his mom from the genetic, behavioral, and performance trash heap that is the SpermClan and performed the actions of being his dad and loving he and his mom.

Forgive me if I'm misinterpreting the post but I can think of a power play

may have posted it on this forum

But the Disneyland dad I used to deal with had no formal custody arrangement so whatever his kids and exwife wanted then that's what he would do ("to keep the peace with his ex for his kids sake" of course)

So this would typically involve his ex wife (mind you this itchB receives more than enough child support) putting on her best "I'm overwhelmed by my kids" act and I need you to get them out my house now Oscar worthy acts (see "I'm ready to eff my new boy toy and these kids are in the way")

If he says no then he receives nonstop emotional blackmail type calls and messages ....

At this point he caved under pressure

Disneyland dad agrees to drop everything and acquiesce to their demands then tells me last minute what he agreed to do. 

If he's not at home then his kids get dumped off and my quiet clean space is instantly destroyed. If he is at home he interrupts everything (and I mean everything ... literally this fool has interrupted intimacy) to go tend to his kids non emergency whims

*hence why he's living alone right now

Anyways I got tired of these peoples chaotic parenting styles and started either refusing his kids being warehoused / disturbing my peace or I would "agree" but make it hard for them to keep demanding to run my household 

One day his kids tried to demand to be warehoused in my quiet clean home while he was at work and their breeder was tired of dealing with them so I agreed knowing I was leaving out of town and wouldn't have to be present for the chaos they were bringing 

I was tired of his kids wanting to be warehoused in my presence (like go warehouse somewhere else or stick with your breeder you worship until it's time for pickup) and was trying to discourage their behavior so I would turn ALL the lights off and set every alarm .... only thing missing was motion activated gunshot and rabid dog noises to complete the haunted "warehouse"

Scared the h3ll out of them make them less likely to want to warehouse at my residence 

He tried to tell me  not to set our home alarms bc it scared his kids. Told him NO (home owners insurance required alarms to be set if you expect to be paid out in a claim) plus his kids wouldn't be scared if he would stop unnecessarily warehousing them at his exwifes request (she want to warehouse them send them to HER families house). Take off work and take care of your kids since your exwife is acting inepr OR leave explain to them "Timmy I'm picking you up AFTER I leave work (if you don't want to wait ask your aunt, grandma, friends to hang out at their homes)"

How hard is it to tell your kid you will pick them up after work?

*I didn't mind warehousing them maybe ONCE every other month but you want me to take care of your bad a$$ kids every weekend ?!? While you work overtime to pay your breeder??? Nah bruh! You pay child support - if that woman can't support her kids then what are you paying her for???

Maybe this is a better example of an Aniki Power Play. It was just over 3 years ago...

DH - after ‘Ho’s deluge of unanswered calls (he was sleeping) - turned off his phone Wednesday evening and left it off (still is - lol). In fact, SS18 called my phone yesterday afternoon to talk to him. ~snicker~

After a delicious dinner last night, I was doing dishes while DH sat at the kitchen table writing some checks.

~knockknockknockknockknock~ Ye olde back door has a visitor.

DH and I look at each other and I shrug. No one is expected.

Screen door opens… ~knockknockknockknockknockknockknock~

DH huffs out a breath, sets down his pen, and gets up to look through the curtain.

“DAMMIT!”

~unlocks the door and practically yanks it off the hinges~

Reminder: DH is a total potty mouth when irritated.

DH: What the f*ck do YOU want? (Well, hey, ‘Ho.)

Ho: Hii-iii-iiii! ~big smile and sing-songy~ *bad* I been callin you and Aniki and no one answers!

DH: No sh!t. If it was important, you could send a f*cking text.

Ho: Oh it IS, but I wanna ask in person!!! ~still grinning like the Cheshire cat~

DH: WHAT THE F*CK DO YOU WANT?!

Ho: Aniki’s dress at the wedding was sooooo pretty and I’s wonderin if she’d make me a dress for SD25’s wedding! ~likes it’s the best idea since chocolate + peanut butter~

DH: Are you DRUNK? No, she f*cking cannot!

Ho: ~giggling~ Oh I’d pay her for it!

DH: I.Said.NO.

Ho: Ain’t that Aniki’s choice?

DH: I f*cking FORBID her to do it. ~I’m about to die, holding in the laughter~

Ho: You FORBID it?? ~goodybye, smile~ What the f*ck?! She’s a grown woman and can do what the f*ck she wants!

DH: Nope. Not this time. MY WIFE is not doing a damn thing to help YOU.

Ho: Why you muh…

DH: Get the f*ck off my property NOW. You come back, I’m calling the police. ~slams the door in ‘Ho’s face~

DH: The nerve of that f*cking c*nt.

I’m still biting my tongue but can hear ‘Ho - still on the back porch - muttering.

Me: ~grabbing the dishtub~ DH, open the door, please.

DH: Ani, I’m sorry, but I damn well mean it. I forbid you to make her a damn thing!

Me. DH. Open.The f*cking.Door.

DH: ~mouth flapping like a fish out of water~ Aniki!

Me. DO IT.

DH’s mouth slams shut and his lips compress. He steps to the door, makes a grand gesture, and opens it…

….to ‘Ho, red-faced with fist raised, preparing to knock...

…as I fling the tub of dishwater out the door and all over ‘Ho.

Ho: ~screeching~ What the F*CK?!?!

DH: Baha! Bahaha! Bahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!

Me: Oops. I thought you were gone.

Ho: YOU F*CKING B!TCH! ~walks INTO MY HOUSE~

Me: Oh, please. Try me. ~dropping the dish tub and stepping forward~

Ho: ~takes a step back~ You wouldn’t dare!

Me: ~evil smirk~ You sure about that? ~step forward~

Ho: ~another step back; eyes widening~ You, you, you…

Me: ~stepping up and towering over ‘Ho~ My husband told you to get off of our f*cking property. Do you need help?

‘Ho’s face paled, her mouth flapped, and she spun around to flee out the door so fast that she smacked her elbow on the door jam.

DH, tears streaming down his face and clutching his aching ribs with one hand, shut the door, picked up the dish tub, and put it in the sink.

DH: Good Lord, I love you, woman!

Sooooooo disappointed I won’t have that dress commission.

Oh, Ani!

You BAD girl! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA (grannyd gasps for breath)! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! As she reads the above to her DH, they explode, simultaneously, with, HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Whew! Best post I've read in far too long. And, as pointed out by Winterglow, well worth waiting for. Thanks, Dahlink.