Sending selfies
Does anyone else have a BM that sends selfies (skid is in the picture too), but I still find it highly annoying. She sent one today of her and SS3 and DH told her to stop it, that he didn't need photos of them together- and that is was weird. I'm glad he did this. I feel it would be different if she wasn't a crazy psychotic hag, but she is. There is no need for it. It was a photo of her and SS3 with their masks on? Don't ask me, freaking odd......
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BM in our life sent selfies....
except there were no kids at all in them!! She also sent family pictures from years ago with her DH and the SK's. She is toxic and crazy!! She is blocked from his phone but she will borrow other people's phones and send messages and pictures. She is a Whackadoodle!!
In your situation BM is only adding a kid because she thinks it isn't obvious that SHE just wants to send your DH her picture. Glad your DH put a stop to it. He should block her if she does it again. I can tell ou from experience it only gets worse.
This BM is toxic and crazy as
This BM is toxic and crazy as well. DH is usually really good about telling her to back off. Some time will go by and she will try again. I would never even consider sending my ex pictures, I guess the only time would be if it was a special occasion that he couldn't make it to and I happened to be in them- but even then so, I would avoid sending pics with me in them. I feel that's common sense.
Exactly!!
The BM in your life sounds like the BM in ours!!
I get along great with my ex and I would never send him pictures.
How old are the SK's? Does your DH really need contact with her at all? We went no contact with BM when the youngest was 19. She is blocked completely!!
The youngest is almost 4,
The youngest is almost 4, others are ss5 and sd11. No she doesn't NEED to but she WANTS to. He ignores almost every text she sends, but she still goes at it. She only has visitation, everything else is DH (medical, school, etc) she isn't allowed to make those decisions due to her being a raging alcoholic. So he takes care of the major things, so there really is no reason for it. It's sad that a parent can be that way really..... I have 3 kids and I'd be damned if I didn't have a say.
Very sad!!
So SK's live with you and DH? 6 kids? And crazy BM? That's a lot for anyone to handle God bless you!! :)
Very sad indeed! No matter what boundary he sets if she is drunk half the time she would never get it. The only way to get rid of her is to block her but again if she drinks she might start showing up on your doorstep drunk if she were blocked. Bad situation all the way around!!
We've gone back to every
We've gone back to every other week, but her mom or grandmother has to be present (she lives with her mom and grandmother). My kids are 13,16, and BD is 20 and launched. The youngest is severely speech delayed. He doesn't talk. He's currently being screened for autism and the likes but my hunch is that she abused pills and drank while pregnant. I've been in his life since he was just under 18 months so I've been the only "mom" figure. She gets to be the fun mom with no responsibilities, the older sister basically.
She used to show up to our door, not any more. I would say now she's just the pesky fly that never really goes away. Might hide for a bit then BAM she's in your face.
My two boys are with me all
My two boys are with me all but every other weekend. It's a busy life lol.
You sound like you have a very good
You sound like you have a very good head on your shoulders and you are very caring to your step children. Your DH is lucky to have you!! You also sound like you have a lot on your plate. I have a relative with autism. Early inervention works wonders. He is so high functioning and more so than we ever could have hoped for. It sounds like you are right on top of it!!
Crazy toxic BM's can put a very large strain on a relationship. I truly think how DH's handle it makes it or breaks it in how the situation plays out. If a DH sets firm boundaries and doesn't tolerate anything and takes it as far as he needs to, while BM can still be annoying but not to the level they would be if they were given control. When DH's ignore the problem or fan the flames it grows bigger and also causes deep relationship problems with his wife/GF or SO. It is a hard life that never ends!
We are headed for a relapse now and I just dread where we could be going. BM is getting divorced and that only sparks nostalgia and a recurrence of her trying to get in DH's life. I too see selfies in our future!
Crossing my fingers there's
Crossing my fingers there's no selfies in your future lol. It's a sick cycle. BM too goes through significant others like toilet paper. She broke up with the latest about a month ago, and we've heard a lot more from her. She quit her job while she was with him to be dependent completely on other people. Again. She's a worthless waste of space. I cringe when i think about her actually being able to birth human beings.
Thank you me too!!
In our situation my step-children are in there late 20's and BM should be long gone out of our lives.
Unfortunately she has made them very dependent, especially my SD and so they still act like teenagers. Even SS who is married is very immature and has all kinds of problems because BM still interferes in his life. His wife will only take it so long. SS also has a drinking problem and BM ruined both kids credit charging up credit cards in their names.
Both SK's couldn't conduct a normal life unless they fixed a lot of things and moved on from BM. Instead they worship the ground BM walks on and hate me and tolerate DH and that is only to be in BM's ploys to get him back. It is endless!!
nipping it early on is a good defense for sure!!
She sounds like a child. Sad.
She sounds like a child. Sad. I can't fathom putting credit cards in my children's name! Disgusting.
Aaaaaaand she called this
Aaaaaaand she called this morning at 7:28 am. No one answered her. He sent her to voicemail.
BM used to have group chat
BM used to have group chat with SSs and SO when I started dating him. The boys were 11 and 12. SD was 8 so she didn't have a phone.
She would send "time hops" to them in the group chat. Some from when they were married. It went on for probably a year then I expressed that it is weird and I didn't like it. She may have sent him selfies with the skids.. it probably happened but I never saw those. He said something to her and it stopped. She still sends the same time hops year after year to skids.
Your BM sounds like she is just sending them to get your DH's attention. End of story. That's what they all do.
Good on your DH for telling
Good on your DH for telling her to stop. I am also a BM and i don't think i have ever sent my ex a pic of either me or the kids. He sees them all the time since we have 50/50. He can take his own pictures and so can i. If a birthday falls on one of his days, i don't freak and need him to send a pic or need to run over there and eat cake with them all and get a pic. I celebrate on the closest day that i have them and he does the same.
Which is what most "normal"
Which is what most "normal" people do haha. My ex was overseas for almost a year in 2018 so we would email photos every so often to him, but I was never in them. But - totally different circumstance. If it were me, I'd want photos of my kids.
Yeah, if a parent has to go a
Yeah, if a parent has to go a long time without seeing the kids it makes sense to send pics. Of the kids, though lol!
All the time
She sends ME the selfies of her and the kids or even just of her. She sent me a work selfie of her wearing her Walmart mask and I "thank god for that mask. It saved your camera from being broken from that picture". Another time she sent a pic of her new husband standing next to a huge wild hog he shot and I texted back asking "So he finally had enough of your shit?" She said "what???" And I replied "ain't that you hanging from the tree with the bullet hole in the shoulder?" she said "that's a hog" and I said "like I said, I thought it was you".
That. Is. Amazing. Lmao
That. Is. Amazing. Lmao
Yep. A few years ago...
Toxic Drunky BM here did that a couple times early in mine and DH's relationship. In the middle of the night she's text these sad selfies of herself making a duckface with full makeup and cleavage, with poor SD like barely in the background of the shot lol. These women are miserable. She's finally gotten herself blocked from texting him completely after years of inappropriate and excessive texting.
Yikes. She sent a selfie once
Yikes. She sent a selfie once of herself at the emergency room after she attempted to OD. It was pathetic cry for attention.