I put child support for my DD in a separate account because of the same reasons. My DD deserves to have her needs met just as much as the steps deserve to have their needs met... I tell DH that my DD's father will not support the steps.

Wait a minute...You are spending YOUR kids CS on HIS kids?!?!?! Hmmmmm.....NO. Get a separate account for the CS and ONLY use it for YOUR children. Holy shit if I were your ExH I would be PISSED.

Separating your finanaces has its up sides and downs. In my household we split all the bills 50/50 and basically take care of our own kid's needs. The reason I started doing this was because I was finding myself eating ramen noodles for lunch everyday and really trying to be frugal while my husband was eating out at expensive restaurants 3 times per week and spending money like crazy. It wasn't really about the kids, more about teaching him to be more responsible with money. The down side, when my DH got his Christmas bonus, it was his to spend as he pleased.

Stand your ground.

There's no way in hell your daughter's dad should be paying for DH's kids.

If he can't afford braces for his kids, then it's time to look for a second job or beg for extra hours.

I agree with you. My DH and I went thru this, as I felt not only did a good chunk of money go for child support each month out of his check, but the BM was always calling for more money, DH wanted to do "special" (read: expensive) things for the SK's, yet still have his fun things like a new vehicle, motorcycle, blah blah blah.

I, on the other hand, have two children, work full time (and always have) to support them so I can put a large portion of their social security away for their college education.

It came to a head when I realized MY kids were going without while his kids were living the life. Not to say I was depriving my kids of basic necessities, but they also aren't ones to always want the latest, greatest techno gadget nor do they express the need for expensive entertainment. One day I overheard my DH promising his SK's BOTH new gaming computers for their house (I wasn't meant to overhear this)while my kids were relegated to sharing a hand-me-down, outdated laptop. So I sat down and figured out "our" finances and handed it over to my DH letting him know that I was opening up my own bank account and would have MY check deposited there; I would expect X amount of dollars from him EACH WEEK to pay for utilities, but he was on his own with the motorcycle and it's insurance (I don't ride it, nor do we ever take rides on it together) and any expenditures he wishes to make on his kids. He was left with a mere $87/month to buy gas to get back and forth to work.

I stuck to it for quite a while and was actually able to put quite a bit away for myself because it wasn't going to pay for all the extras for his kids (note: BM doesn't work, chooses not to work, therefore my DH wanted to feel like the BMOC by always picking up the entire tab).

I don't work my ass of so she doesn't have to.

he thinks that will cause division between us

This is a lame ass cop out excuse. You are his gravy train, his kids get everything they want/need, BM gets everything she wants/needs, daddy is the hero and you are the sugar momma. I would seperate your finances STAT. It is not fair to your kids and I PROMISE you that if the roles were reversed your SO/DH would feel the same way.

Its causing a division between you having them joined. Of course he doesn't want to separate the finances, he's the winner here. You are the one losing out.

Time to separate finances.

Now they need braces and it will be coming out of my child support. My kids need glasses, braces etc..too. But I don't have the extra money to take care of them
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This is your fault if you let this happen. Shame on you if you do.

Watching BM spend DH's CS on anything other than the kids & then hearing her bitch & moan about the kids having to go without makes me livid. The CS your ex pays is for YOUR children. DH's kids are not yours to provide money for.

Even if you don't keep all of your money separate, absolutely keep your CS separate.

First of all she never said her kids were going without,she just said she cant handle the extra expenses and she just feels like her CS was going towards his kids, And unless its specificly written in a CO agreement that each penny from CS has to be accounted for its usually no ones business as long as the bills are paid, As long as the kids have a roof over thier hed, running water, electricity, food in thier belly and the bare essentials then monies are being spent on kids, what diff does it make if it comes from her work money or CS money,,,,,using CS money to make sure SK's are taken care of does not make one a bad parent who should have thier kids taken away,,,,

That being said, Things like braces unless its medicly necesary are something HE should be hndling, if he cant handle the support then he needs to tell th BM to help foot the bill,,,,after all that is all part of what CS is for, maybe instead of relying on you he needs to put his foot down,,

I swear I did not see that when I read her post ,,,and I read it several times, It still doesnt make her a bad aprent who needs to lose custody of her children,,she just needs to re-priorotize and as a family put everyons needs in order regardles if they are biological or not, kids have needs, some greater than others, In my house my stepson has severe lazy eye and we had no insurance, my son has astigmatism and needs glasses for reading and watching tv, so SS comes first as the need was greater,,,,,,it does though sound like the husband is worried that if you divide finances then his kids might lose out, you need to do for the kids based on needs, if yours have amore severe need then take care of your first,,,

Hi everyone
I am new here and I am french origin so forgive me for my english so I am married since 1 year and my husband have 2 kids 10 and 14 old and I have my own kids too 21and 22 years they live in France my question is
my husband give 600$ per month for child support and his pay is 1000$ per month so we live with his parent because we can't rent or buy place i don't work I am new resident here in US and I don't know the law for child support and I want just to know if my husband give too much because when he give child support and pay bills for his care we have nothing even for buy food tel me everyone if that is correct and I need accept this life because my husband don't want me talk about his kids or anything about his kids
help please

So, in other words, your ex husband is supporting kids that are not even his? This is why fathers hate having to pay stupid child support! Why are you spending YOUR kids' money on SKIDS? That's fvcked! That is not your kids' problem......they are going without because of these brats! If they aren't resentful of you already, they will be when they find out where their dad's hard earned money is REALLY going.