This past week I talked with BM's mom after she called SS. BM's mom was a sucky mom from what I understand when BM was little but has since moved 5 states and has her act together. She has a great relationship with SO. When SO found out about SS-GBM made him baby books, sent him videos of SS's infancy and really tried to make up for lost time. She calls SS now and again.

After their conversation last week she asked SS to speak with me. She knows I care for both kids primarily. She said he sounded sad, suggested that they be pen pals and asked me when he saw BM last. I explained to her what's going on. He misses his brother and sister (BM's other two), she calls and tells him she's getting him and then ghosts despite our requests that she not do that-phone calls are now on speaker and monitored by SO on SO's phone and I explained to her what the school counselor has been telling me.

She apologized and said she doesn't know what to do but knows that BM's sister would love to have him visit more often. BM and BM's sister are close in age and SS was constantly being dumped on his aunt when he lived with BM. BM's sister called me the next day. BM's sister could make a trucker pucker-her language is really something else-but she's a good mom and a good person just a little rough around the edges. We made plans for him to visit her and her family overnight. I asked her if BM was okay-SO and I have suspected drug use and really, if she was seriously to come and try to take SS, SO planned on having a very long talk with her first to try to gage what the hell is going on. BM's sister said she isn't using she's just incredibly selfish and doesn't care about anyone but herself. She said she would try to make plans for her to visit SS at her house.

I dropped SS off after we went to the playground on Saturday and picked him up at 5 on Sunday. When I got to BM's sister's house she told me BM has to "work" in quotes rolled her eyes and then her husband went off about how shitty BM is and how pissed he is for SS. We were outside and SS was not around. BM's sister became visibly upset saying she feels for BM's kids but it's best that they are with their dads and the youngest is with BM's friends who are an older couple that kind of took in her youngest since her dad is still unknown.

BM apparently moved out of her apartment and left a tote of stuff for SS at sister's when I refused to let her dump her trash at my house. Sister went through it and took out anything worth keeping and gave it to me-washed and folded. She's going to let me know when they have another low key weekend (they have 6 kids-2 are hers, 3 are his and one is joint) that have a lot of sport activities but she misses SS. She said she will also be talking to Big Daddy about taking SS's half brother more often/the same weekends as SS when she can.

I told her she is more than welcome to come over anytime. She doesn't have to squish 9 kids into her house on a "low key" weekend-she can feel free to drop her kids off with me for a few hours every now and then too so SS can see them/her. Her hubby is a pretty solid dude too.

SO said he's totally fine with it because she does try to clean her language up when I'm around (we don't want BD who is in a parrot stage saying these humdingers)"-which are so vulgar sometimes it's uncomfortable and I'm no prude-I use fuck like a comma on the right day).

This morning BM posted pictures of her and the new flavor of the week. I wonder what she must tell these men. I can't imagine how she justifies this to herself. But whatever-she's got 3 beautiful kids-it's really her loss. The counselor is working with SO and I to get SS through this and it seems to be working. He is doing so well in school, he is so motivated and he came home yesterday after having 7 great days in a row saying "I'm in control of how well I do" which is what we've been working on (He is dx'd with autism-he hasn't been arguing, he's been using coping skills, he's been working through situations instead of shutting down)-it's amazing. He loved to talk politics and he's proud of his ability to understand these complicated things.

I know BM's family is right and this is for the best but I know what it feels like to have a parent walk out on you. I just need to make sure he knows he's loved and stays focused on his goals.