I think I'm going crazy
Well this is my first time posting so bare with me.
I met the man of my dreams 8 years ago. We are married and live together. We both were previously married and each and 1 girl. I have been in my SD life since she was 4 and she's 12 now. At the beginning of our relationship I used to feel a grudge against her since she used to pick on my daughter which is 3 yrs you get then her. But as she grew older that kind of stopped since they are both interested in different things.
Right now I just truly hate her!! My husband has had full custody of my SD since she was 2 months old because she has a dead beat mother. My issue with her is just her attitude!! She doesn't respect me she is constantly walking off when I speak to her. She doesn't want to do anything around the house & when she does it it's half ass anyways!! She is constantly talking back as if sh doesn't have to listen to anything I say. And if I do say something she will ask her dad if she has to do it!! Umm hello I just told you to do it. Why are you asking him?? It got Soo bad his weekend I almost felt like knocking her out!! I already has my hands balled up into a fist!! I had to walk away.
I feel like either way I'm in the bad end of the stick. My husband is great to my daughter but then again my daughter is not disrespectful & does what she's told.
My husband gets mad at me if I get into an argument with his daughter but when I said ok she's your responsibility I'm washing my hands. He gets mad at that as well!! Saying she doesn't have a mom and you need to step up!
But how can I step up if I can't even look at her!! I wish her real mom will step up & take her but of course that's wishful thinking!! Don't know what to do!!
How can I love my husband so much & hate his kid!!
Ughhh!!
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Comments
To me it seems that you have
To me it seems that you have two choices: 1. You can parent the kid and in your parenting of said kid you teach the kid that disrespect to adults will not only not get her what she wants, but have an immediate negative consequence for her, and reinforce not behaving disrespectfully by giving positive attention when she is not being disrespectful. 2. You continue not parenting the kid and the situation stays as it is. Of course there is always the third option of leaving the situation and moving on with your life.
You're in a no-win situation.
You're in a no-win situation. If your DH wants you to step up, he's gotta back you. If he doesn't then you should disengage.
You have a couple things
You have a couple things going on.
1. 12 year old girls are horrible little creatures. They are mean to each other, they are becoming "teens". So, some of what you are getting is typical teen/preteen behavior. Your daughter will probably have a little of that herself but you will probably tolerate it better because she is your bio. (no judgement, people just tend to like their own kids more!)
2. You need to get your DH on the same page. That means either he steps up and does the telling or he backs you up 100% with the girl. Now, that doesn't mean that later under the cover of darkness, he can't say, "gee honey, I thought it was a little harsh to make her clean both the bathrooms" but he doesn't get to 2nd guess you in front of his daughter. You need to present a united front.
Exactly! What is UP with
Exactly!
What is UP with these parents who want the step to behave like a parent and LOVE the skid until correcting the skid happens.