So I have been a step mom to dh's daughter for 6 years now...Me and my sd's relationship is very complicated and I won't go into right now, but this post is about Biomom...I have been "dealing" with her politely for 6 yrs now and I don't know how much more I can take...My dh had physical custody of his daughter from when she was 1 until about 2 years ago, when we had a family tragedy that made it difficult for her to live with us. So she was with my dh's grandparents for 6 months until we could get a court date to find out if bm was fit to be a mother again...

Here's the background on bm ..She and my dh were together for a couple of years, when she trapped him with the pregnancy. So being the good guy he is, he stayed and tried to make it work. At the time Bm had a 7 yr old daughter too. But she only had visitations.This daughter lived with her fathers mother. So after sd turned 1 he left her and took sd b/c bm was doing illegal "things" ..She had visitations but never paid C.S. Now we forward to when sd is 4 ..I meet dh and we hit it off right away. I was a single mother with a 5 yr old, and we dated for a long time before we introduced the kids. We then moved in together, and began to start our life...Well bm was "mad as hell" . She immediately started all kinds of problems like walking into "our" house unannounced, and running over my flower beds with her friends vehicle. Then it escalated to telling sd she didn't have to listen to me ...I wasn't her mother..I was still polite to her...She made up lie after lie about me to my dh..None of which he believed until one day she had a man call dh's grandparents house and tell them he was my bf and I was cheating on dh with him...DH got upset and I told him over and over I didn't know who the guy was...He said he believed me but was upset at first b/c it WAS a guy CALLING !!! So we decide it would be better to move to the next state and get a fresh start..(completely legal btw) ..We gave bm our address and number and told her she could see her ...She flipped !!! She made threats about burning our house to the ground, she would kill me...That dh still loved her...So now we move and she is telling everyone back at our hometown that we never gave her the number and address !! She never had physical custody but we were being nice and "I" was bringing sd down and picking her up to see her (an hour drive)(dh had to work) and I didn't even have to do that !! I was being nice once again !!! Well one night my taillight went out and I called her and told her I could bring her down the next day to see her and she cussed me out saying I was keeping her from seeing sd !! So more threats come...This time she threatens my son !! Big no-no !! So I call the local police and make a report and let them listen to all of the messages and they say we'll call her and tell her to stop !! Well she stopped but never went to court...Now in some of these messages she states she has cancer, she had a historectomy, blah blah blah...She's a pathological liar so we can't believe everything we hear...Well I know it sounds mean but with everything that had happened in the past, we knew it was just her trying to make us feel bad. besides she never had a historectomy b/c she went on to have another kid !! The nerve !! So dh decides to tell her that if she wants visitation to go to court b/c he doesn't want her to act irrational anymore...She continued with the threats (25 in one month) and I told dh I had to change the number...I didn't want the kids to hear anymore of it !! Especially when she started cursing !! Knowing sd was there and everything !! Now fast forward to present..The court allowed sd to live with bm as long as it was supervised by a G.A.L. Well after only 6 months, she no longer is taking calls or visits from the Gal ..Now mind you dh cares about sd but was not going to be responsible for anything bm might do so we left it up to the state to be responsible for sd if they were going to let bm have custody.. Now dh can still talk to sd if he wants but he is choosing not to right now b/c of the family tragedy we had...I know it leaves a lot of blank parts of the story out but I don't want to discuss it right now..Now the last time they went to court bm threatened my life to DH !! I DO NOT TRUST THIS WOMAN !! If you could have seen her record you would faint !! She has beat up her own siblings as well as ex bf's in the past...I'm not saying she's the same person as before but I def am not going to take that chance...She has told dh that if he ever needs a place to "crash" he could come to her !! She apparently thought that after she got custody that her and dh would become a family again !! Wow !! Now she calls my cell relentlessly and tells me that she will always have a hold over dh b/c they have a kid together...Now I love dh more than anything..we have been through some pretty tough times and survived it TOGETHER...I love him so very much and the father he has become to my son...But this woman has got to stop !! So do I go to the police again ?? With no real evidence ??? Or do I go against DH and call her and ask her to stop ?? See dh says brush it off, but I can't...I just want to live in peace with dh and try and enjoy our life together...To top it all off..She still owes dh $30,000 in c.s. !!! I feel owed too I guess b/c I have paid for everything for sd since she was 4 !!! She hasn't gone after us for child support either in the hopes that dh will be with her again !! What a hoot !! What do I do ?