So, ss lives with us. His mother sucks. Pays no child support, but constantly bitches to anyone that will listen via facebook that the father of her other child is a deadbeat for doing the exact same thing to her. Rarely bothers to see ss. A good example would be last week. We were out of power for 7 days because of this freak storm. SS tried to call her every day, because she did have power. Thought he could go there. She called back 6 days later. Whatever. He does not care that much about seeing her, but misses his little brother. That is the only thing he complains about. He is 15, and thankfully has gotten to the point where he understands what his mother is.

Here is the problem. He has been hinting that he would like his brother to come over here once in a while so he can spend time with him without the bm. I would have no problem with it in theory, but...dh is concerned about 2 things. One, that bm will get pissed because he will like it here. And two, that she will just decide we have become the babysitters and wer will never get rid of him. I mean, it's painfully obvious that she doesn't care about ss. She talks about her other child constantly, and never even mentions ss. But given the opportunity to be carefree, she would probably have no issue pawing the other one of all the time either no matter how much she says she loves him. She was like that with ss until he hit about 10 as well.

I see dh's points, But ss wants to see his brother too. Has anyone had this kind of issue? Do ground rules work?