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Mixed.feelings's picture

Submitted by Mixed.feelings on Sun, 12/30/2012 - 8:29pm

I am so hurt and lost. I am raising my step son because his mother is a crack whore that is in prison. She hasn't seen him since infancy. My step son also has FASD. I have been so confused about everything going on in my life. I care about my step son because he does depend on me and I am the only mommy he has. It's just so hard at the same time because I have my own bio kids! They get the short end of the stick usually because my step son requires so much attention. If you remove my step son from our life my marriage is great my parenting is good and I am so happy with my life. He is an innocent child. I'm so upset though because I didn't make bad choices and I'm raising a child with problems. And not by choice I could not say no to my husband. I love him too much. I am in therapy 2 times a week for this and I have no clue what more to do. It's only been a year since I had him. Will it get better?

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Lalena75's picture

Submitted by Lalena75 on Sun, 12/30/2012 - 8:38pm

Will it get better? I don't know, will you get better at coping with it? likely yes. How supportive, and active is your DH with his kid will have a lot to do with it. Learn everything you can about the disorder, pile up lots of support contacts and use them. you'll benefit if you have a good support team so will your whole family.

oldone's picture

Submitted by oldone on Sun, 12/30/2012 - 8:46pm

Will the child get better? no

You need to start making long-term plans NOW. I know a woman who drank during her pregnancy as her DH was trolling for gay sex every night. No excuse for her drinking though. She is still married to the creep who leaves at 10 most nights for a little anonymous "action".

Their daughter is now grown and lives in a group home where she is very happy.

Doesnteatcrow's picture

Submitted by Doesnteatcrow on Sun, 12/30/2012 - 9:05pm

My SS13 is physically and mentally disabled- I have a BS that is 2 and I would have to say that have a special needs stepson has made me a better parent to my BS. Look at the good stuff, he requires more attention but, it also teaches your bio child to be more patient and to share your time.

You do need to look at long term options. Have you talked to your local MRDD group and found what services are available to him? We have respite which helps and because of his physical disablities we have nursing to help with his care. Look up your local United Way and Easter Seals as well. What age is he? You should have him in a watch me grow program if he is preschool age or if he is school age you should get help from the local school district and your support ed. Does he have an IEP?