I cannot for the life of me wrap my head around the reasoning of my DH's ex(the BM). DH is constantly shuffled around based upon her current mental status/opinion of him. One month(and sometimes for extended periods)he's the hated bastard that is THE cause of everyone's problems. At that time he can do nothing right and never does enough. The more people she can get to join in scorn of him the better.

The next month he may be someone she's wanting attention from. She'll send txt messages in attempts to strike up conversation. When she can see his distance from her or doesn't get whatever it was she wanted - she stops texting him. The only consistent thing she does is txt him each month for money.

The latest seems to be that she is intent upon reminding him how they had children together. She made mention in txt messages recently how "our children" are this or that. She kept using our and we several times to put her point across while talking of their kids. In her swooney/join me in remembering us together crap. She could have used their names perhaps. He was uncomfortable with her doing that because he KNOWS why she's doing it. He didn't take the bait. She did that until I guess she decided he wasn't going to reminisce with her and then she dropped the subject. She hates it when he doesn't give her whatever reaction she was looking for to whatever it was she said.

I know how she is. This is her pointing out that his life is connected with hers by their having kids together and how she still exists in his life. This is how she gets when she decides she doesn't hate him and thinks back on them being together or whatever. She's done this before.

She's done this before in cycles. She gets all strange and says to him things along the lines of...I still sleep with the stuffed animal you gave me back whenever. Or remember the time when...that sort of thing. All of a sudden he's better than sliced bread. He's the love that got away or whatever. Their relationship was hell. Neither of them treated the other well at all. She doesn't come right out and say anything that isn't appropriate. She's very subtle. She stops when he doesn't join in or avoids the subject. You can just tell that she's in that mode again. Sort of like she's reminiscing and sighing. :sick:

He'll never forgive BM of all of the horrid sh*t she did. She'll always be held at arms length. He doesn't care about her in the slightest. He tolerates her and is barely able to do that. Its like she doesn't GET it. She can't fathom why he would be distant. Why he would not like her. Of course to her - her actions should be forgotten/never mentioned. She's not to be questioned on anything she's ever done or said. Yet,everything he does is under scrutiny. There is a double standard with her. He's the one to point fingers at whenever the shoe fits.

I truly think that she believes her various mental collapses should excuse her actions. She thinks they should be hunky-dorey when in her reminiscing mindset. DH and I have been married for over five years. Together for over six. He never married her. I'm obviously not going anywhere! I think she is threatened by it. Especially by the fact that we will probably have a child of our own. I expect her to have another mental collapse whenever DH and I have a child together.

I know that there is nothing to be done in this situation. I just needed to come here and b*tch/vent a little to get it out of my head. Perhaps,I wonder if others have the same thoughts and can understand where I'm coming from. I cannot change her,how she acts,what she does. I'm well aware of that. I can only control what *I* do. I have input as to what is going on with DH. She'll be just as she is,though it bugs the hell out of me. Just as she can't change things she would dislike about me.