"that's you in the future"
On Sunday afternoon following another tough weekend with SS7 acting out and getting yelled at nonstop by DH, we finally got the family to sit down and quietly watch "The Sound of Music." SS7 wasn't very interested, but SD5 and I were enjoying it, cuddling on the sofa and singing together.
But, suddenly -- SS7 comes alive during the scene where the captain breaks his engagement -- when the rejected woman is sadly walking away, SS7 looks at me and says, loudly, "That's you in the future."
Luckily, for once DH was in the room to hear it, and he made SS7 repeat it. SS7 did, but said he was just joking.
It is so tough for me to find love for this child. I imagine that my negative feelings about him aren't hidden under my fake smile and attempts to engage with him. Does this ever get better?
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Yeah, I agree. His tone was
Yeah, I agree. His tone was really nasty when he said it, too -- it was definitely intended to hurt me. Sometimes he seems much older (and meaner) than a 7 year old child to me.
He's only seven if this type
He's only seven if this type of behavior is allowed by your boyfriend it'll get much worse. Your boyfriend should have told him not to talk like that about you joking or not. Also makes me wonder if his other parent is feeding him a line of bull about you
edit: your husband
DH and I both just sat there
DH and I both just sat there with our mouths open. DH said "What did you say?" and SS repeated it, then said it was a joke. We were both so confused that we didn't know how to respond...but usually DH is really good about correcting his son when he is fresh (and had been correcting his son for being fresh the entire weekend at that point.)
I think it is PAS to refuse to acknowledge me or look at me when we at in the same place...so, yeah. I'm betting it is coming from BM.
yeah, we are pretty sure BM
yeah, we are pretty sure BM is saying nasty things about me (or at the very least, BM's absolute, open hatred of me is wearing off on the kids -- she refuses to make eye contact or speak to me).
DH is usually pretty tough on SS, but in this case I think we were both so shocked by the comment that we didn't really respond well. DH on his own said that he is going to have a talk with SS about the things he has been saying lately and how inappropriate they are.
It just sucks, though. It is such a crappy feeling to have a kid living in your house 50% of the time who says terrible things and is always causing conflict.
that's what my mother always
that's what my mother always used to say!
let's face it -- this kid isn't trying to make a funny joke without any strings attached. the joke is probably a wish. i imagine that some of it is coming from the fact that he has been SO badly behaved lately (objectively) that he is constantly getting time outs from his father, or being spoken to about his behavior by his father. i tend to be the more relaxed one (or at least, i have a "your kids, your problem" philosophy, and generally don't yell or punish) and so if he is angry, i'm a better target than his dad.
it's a crazy situation, because i wind up totally resenting a 7 year old boy, and then hating myself for having negative feelings about a young kid. argghhhhh!
actually, that really helps
actually, that really helps -- thanks. i guess we missed the opportunity for an apology because we didn't jump on it in our total bafflement at what he was saying, and why. I think you are absolutely right about teaching him that I am permanent, though. Not sure how to do that, but will try to work it in to conversations somehow.